Character called Mr. Farts that deals 1500 damage per turn by fart 3.
Those are, in fact, perfectly sensible guidelines.
Beyond disappointed that none of our resident fart accounts have commented in this thread. Clearly the clarion call of the wind broken by the fart golems haven’t yet echoed deep enough into the halls of lemmy to reach their noses.
@Fartswithanaccent@lemmy.world
@Fartographer@lemmy.world
@I_fart_glitter@lemmy.world
@Satansmaggotycumfart@lemmy.worldThat GM definitely has some stories
My old Dm Used to occasionally run a game where everyone rolled a pc that could fit into a cartoon show, and every game was an episode of this cartoon show.
I played an anime inspired character that could turn into a robot for no reason that was ever explained, and sometimes he gained the ability to turn into different kind of robots. The character never shut up about the power of friendship, and had an ever-evolving backstory that made less and less sense as we played more one shots, including:
- He was his own father somehow
- he had to go go to the future to make this happen for some reason
- he was searching for his sibling so that he could stop him from becoming my pc. His sibling was from the future and had travelled back to the past, so that he could kill my pc
- he could telepathically communicate with plants using the power of friendship. The plants had nothing to say because they were plants
- his father was some kind of evil god. Somehow he was still his own father. The contradiction was never explained at all
- There was an orb in his chest that contained the source of all friendship in the universe that he could use to launch friendship based attacks for some reason
There were more details I can’t recall. When I spoke it was always long rambling monologues that sounded like terrible dubbing.
Some may not like it but this is what the perfect campaign looks like
Oddly reminiscent of Steven Universe. Is his own mother, who was some kind of (evil?) god, has an orb in his belly button, launches friendship based attacks.
Never heard of Steven universe.
Interesting though. I guess it’s really all been done.
Futurama’s “nasty in the pasty” was funny, but I gigglesnorted and choked on coffee on the care bear stare.
he could telepathically communicate with plants using the power of friendship. The plants had nothing to say because they were plants
Funniest thing I read all week goddamn
Those are very reasonable and wide guidelines.
The second one sort of depends on the player. I’ve had a few players that have made absolutely ridiculous characters but played them very well and it was a good experience.
The first one is a strong no. I’ve never seen anyone who does a broken meta build do anything beyond ruin everyone’s time and complain (or quit) if the DM reins them in at all.
The first one works in a campaign that expects everyone to do the first one (and where the GM does the same for the enemies). Assuming the character is still a character when looking beyond the stats, that is.
In half the campaigns, the Doctor Farts PC ends up being the MVP because they weren’t minmaxed and as a result have much more utility.
Doctor Farts: “I cast Stinking Cloud, again.”
Party: sigh
Doctor Farts: ooo! i leveled up and got cloudkill!
So professor burp is still on the table?
Nurse Practitioner Patricia P. Poopu is fine too I bet.
The dookomancer Dia Rhea.
(She makes the fart golems that raised OPs Dr. Fart by virtue of her skill in the fine arts of dookomancy)
Edit: Guess what’s in her spellcasting component pouch. HINT: Rhymes with cookie. Now let me tell you about her spellcasting focus! It’s encrusted with magically imbued partially digested corn…
Rhymes with cookie
Does it really though?
I use “ʊ” for book and cook, and “ju” for duke puke.
I have it on good authority that it does.
“So this is my character. Her name is Armpits Esquire and she’s three halfling paladin brothers from a dead order in a trenchcoat. Because of their stacking auras, they are nearly- no, you can continue loading, it gets worse.”
I’d never heard this before, but I adore the tiny tinge* of chicanery the singer adds to every line!
This was wonderful, thanks for sharing The Bard in Gree… A- Are you a kobold or three, perhaps?
There are actually a few versions of this song by different YouTube’s. This one’s my favorite, but I’m biased (JoCat is great)
If you’re wondering how it is that I sing three part harmony…
You just need access to “Suggestion” spell for easy win on so many situations the DM will start raging real soon.
That said, can I be a dragon, then?
Suggestion can be twinned if need be
Unless your DM is a stickler for the updated 2024 rules, then in that case it can’t, because they changed Twinned Spell to require that the spell let you target additional creatures when cast at higher levels, which Suggestion does not.
People don’t actually play 5.5 right?
The group I’m playing with now we’re using 5.5. Anyone still playing Adventurer’s League doesn’t have a choice, 5.5 is mandatory there.
I hate the 2014 rules and actually enjoy the 2024 rules so yeah lol
What caused such a big turnaround?
First, I found melee combat excruciatingly dull in 2014. While it’s not super different, the weapon masteries in 2024 add enough crunch and flavor for me to find it far more interesting and fun.
Second, druid is my favorite class in terms of flavor, specifically specializing in wild shape, and ‘14 is probably my least favorite iteration of it. I think’ 24 improves upon circle of the moon immensely regarding mechanics and, even if the list of beasts is smaller, the streamlined design to their attacks makes them feel more potent as more than just a chunk of animal flavored temp HP.
There’s also a lot of things that really should have been added earlier as quality of life. Off the top of my head, steady aim for rogues. Tasha adds it for '14 as an optional feature but it really needed to be the default.
Also, cure wounds actually feels potent now. Healers rejoice, you have a reason to use it over the more action and spacing efficient healing word.
I hadn’t read about the new weapon masteries. I am shocked they didn’t make these limited per day powers. That’s usually how anything fun in DND goes- you can do this cool thing but only once or twice.
My dm never let me play as a terrasque
Have you considered 3 giant miniature space-terrasques in a trenchcoat? The were 3 wild terrasques minding their own business in the wild, when they stumbles on a druid orgy who were all tripping on shrooms. They magically shrunk the terrasque family not realizing that their int was inversely proportional to their body size. Now the clever tiny devils are on a quest to reverse their shinkification. Without their enourmous size they must rely on their wits to survive in a land of humanoids. The only tools at their disposal are 3 pairs of women’s undies and a trenchcoat.
1st the clever crew must find the rare Psilocybe semilanceata, the mushroom that powers the druid magic. Then they must find the elucive druid and his circle. Finally they must recreate the original conditions by seducing an entire druid circle into an orgy without being discovered.
If you ever rise to a position of power in politics then it is over for this world.
There’s a DM for every table.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Dear DMs: if you take yourself too seriously, I will murder you.
I give my players pretty wide latitude, after a few sessions they generally agree with me if their character isn’t working well. Too weak can be treated with better weapons; too powerful get bored and go home. One of the too powerful synergised two powers to become practically invulnerable















