Bingo. People treat phones like they’re disposable, and buying pallets of old functional phones is shockingly affordable

Not if you blow on it.

Right?
…Right?

I remember using solder with lead in my electronics class in 2004. Removing lead from stuff still feels pretty recent

I gotta argue with you on your last point. Any meat that’s delicious with just salt should only be seasoned with salt. Anything more and you interfere with the flavor.

When I drop something on the floor and then blow on it in short soft bursts, it’s suddenly clean enough to consume.

Why are you arguing with me? I just explained it. Tide goes in because tide goes out.

Fuck it! We’ll do it live!

Why do people keep telling me this?

Yes I can. Tide goes in because tide goes out.

It’s gonna blow out like my pants after gas station sushi

Diz??? Johnny, she’s dying!

Back when paint tasted good!

But if we get rid of OSHA, what’s Mike Rowe going to hold for laughter and applause for after he says “ocean?”

Fuck, the mirror-person has guns! Shoot 'em!

Damn, I had to do some actual research to get that one. Worth it. I chuckled quietly through my nose.

Ho-la friend-o! <3

Everything is a test to see if they can push things further. Hocking a vocal ass-sniffing donor’s wares in an absurd and awkward showcase to troll the left while showing he was in on the joke was all part of a grift and a test.

If you can do something so seemingly incompetent and bizarre, then you’ve cleared an opening to inject something more malignant next time.

Horse goes in. Brisket comes out.
…
…
Horse comes back out clacking metal tongs together, shouting, “yeah, well that dumb cow was an asshole!”

I got the knockoff version that had an understaffed team of mostly complacent fairies using thrift shop keyboards. I tried playing Hocus Pocus by Focus and they burned down my house and flew off with my neighbor’s cat.

They’re gonna give me crabs???

There’s a post?