It is what it is… till it isn’t
It costs what it costs, until the money runs out.
If I can’t ask where the value is added, how else am I supposed to politely ask, “what’s the fucking point of this bullshit?”
If I can’t say “it is what it is” how else am I supposed to politely tell someone, “I don’t give a fuck.”?
Business speak is just a polite wrapper around needing to be rude.
“Let’s table this” - shut up, your point is irrelevant
“We’ll circle back” - I want to end this stupid meeting but unfortunately we’ll have to talk about it again later.
“We have to synergize” - If you two teams don’t start playing nice together, I’m going to sell the whole company.
“Let’s continue this discussion offline.” - It would be rude of me to call you an idiot in front of this many people.
“Is there any progress on this item?” - You forgot about this, didn’t you?
“What are your blockers?” - What the fuck is taking so long?
“My calendar is project-heavy right now. / I don’t have the bandwidth for that.” - I don’t have time for that bullshit.
“Yeah, I think I’m beginning to understand the issue…” - … and the issue is that you’re a fucking idiot.
“Your concerns have been noted. / Thank you for sharing your opinion.” - Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck. Shut the fuck up.
“This is off to a great start!” - This fucking sucks. This better not be finished.
“I’m going to direct you to [person] on that issue.” - Take it up with them, I don’t give a fuck.
“Looks good to me!” - I didn’t read that shit.
I’ve been in corporate too long.
I like this comic. Let’s circle back to this one later.
Close of business?
I’ll pencil it in
This one goes in the ideas fridge
We’re taking it to the synergy zone!
Lets triangle back on this
We’ll verticalize that bandwidth
By later do you mean “end of the day”?
By god, they’ve become dead weight
“It is what it is” was such a part of my dad’s lexicon when I was a kid I really didn’t realize its a business speech cliché.
Like now I say it regularly and I’ve never fucking had a corporate job lol 😅
(He was a project manager at IBM for like 30+ years. So… Checks out)
didn’t know it was business talk either. i always just took it to be a polite way if saying “fuck it”
Ahhh, okay that makes me feel less weird for using it all the time lol, thanks
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