Sundray@lemmus.org to Comic Strips@lemmy.worldEnglish · 19 hours agoBusiness Cliches, Brutally Punished [Super Fun-Pak Comics]lemmus.orgimagemessage-square20linkfedilinkarrow-up1244arrow-down16file-text
arrow-up1238arrow-down1imageBusiness Cliches, Brutally Punished [Super Fun-Pak Comics]lemmus.orgSundray@lemmus.org to Comic Strips@lemmy.worldEnglish · 19 hours agomessage-square20linkfedilinkfile-text
minus-squaresurewhynotlem@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up17·14 hours agoBusiness speak is just a polite wrapper around needing to be rude. “Let’s table this” - shut up, your point is irrelevant “We’ll circle back” - I want to end this stupid meeting but unfortunately we’ll have to talk about it again later. “We have to synergize” - If you two teams don’t start playing nice together, I’m going to sell the whole company.
minus-squaregastroglizzy@piefed.sociallinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up12·9 hours ago“Let’s continue this discussion offline.” - It would be rude of me to call you an idiot in front of this many people. “Is there any progress on this item?” - You forgot about this, didn’t you? “What are your blockers?” - What the fuck is taking so long? “My calendar is project-heavy right now. / I don’t have the bandwidth for that.” - I don’t have time for that bullshit. “Yeah, I think I’m beginning to understand the issue…” - … and the issue is that you’re a fucking idiot. “Your concerns have been noted. / Thank you for sharing your opinion.” - Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck. Shut the fuck up. “This is off to a great start!” - This fucking sucks. This better not be finished. “I’m going to direct you to [person] on that issue.” - Take it up with them, I don’t give a fuck. “Looks good to me!” - I didn’t read that shit. I’ve been in corporate too long.
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Business speak is just a polite wrapper around needing to be rude.
“Let’s table this” - shut up, your point is irrelevant
“We’ll circle back” - I want to end this stupid meeting but unfortunately we’ll have to talk about it again later.
“We have to synergize” - If you two teams don’t start playing nice together, I’m going to sell the whole company.
“Let’s continue this discussion offline.” - It would be rude of me to call you an idiot in front of this many people.
“Is there any progress on this item?” - You forgot about this, didn’t you?
“What are your blockers?” - What the fuck is taking so long?
“My calendar is project-heavy right now. / I don’t have the bandwidth for that.” - I don’t have time for that bullshit.
“Yeah, I think I’m beginning to understand the issue…” - … and the issue is that you’re a fucking idiot.
“Your concerns have been noted. / Thank you for sharing your opinion.” - Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck. Shut the fuck up.
“This is off to a great start!” - This fucking sucks. This better not be finished.
“I’m going to direct you to [person] on that issue.” - Take it up with them, I don’t give a fuck.
“Looks good to me!” - I didn’t read that shit.
I’ve been in corporate too long.