“Let’s continue this discussion offline.” - It would be rude of me to call you an idiot in front of this many people.

“Is there any progress on this item?” - You forgot about this, didn’t you?

“What are your blockers?” - What the fuck is taking so long?

“My calendar is project-heavy right now. / I don’t have the bandwidth for that.” - I don’t have time for that bullshit.

“Yeah, I think I’m beginning to understand the issue…” - … and the issue is that you’re a fucking idiot.

“Your concerns have been noted. / Thank you for sharing your opinion.” - Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck. Shut the fuck up.

“This is off to a great start!” - This fucking sucks. This better not be finished.

“I’m going to direct you to [person] on that issue.” - Take it up with them, I don’t give a fuck.

“Looks good to me!” - I didn’t read that shit.

I’ve been in corporate too long.