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Sam Reich appears and says who won
Judging from the last one I was at, when everyone decides to take a third break and get more interested in 80’s music trivia on YouTube than continuing.
How do you get into these situations, and how might I?
I’m one of those great people who can’t read social cues, so when a get-together is winding down and people are leaving, I’ll hang around until you explicitly tell me to GTFO. It’s not that I’m desperate to stay or anything, I just don’t know how to read a room, especially if I have no other plans. I would be an absolute fucking nightmare at an orgy. 4am, the host now fully dressed again, mopping up the cum and sweat, and it’d just be me left, naked, wanking on his couch. His wife away to bed already, lights in the kitchen switched off, dogs fed and candles blown out, and just the thwick-thwick-thwick of my foreskin rolling back and forth while the guy angrily clears his throat, getting progressively more tuberculosisy as his impatience grows and with my apparently psychopathic dominance display showing no signs of abating.
“Hey man, got any more Viagra? Don’t think I’ll be getting another natural one tonight lol”
“Please… please leave…”
“Oh sure no worries, bye” and I’d be gone in 3 minutes without being any the wiser about what a colossal fucking prick I’d been until maybe 3 or 4 years later.
Actually, this reminded me of a real thing that happened when I was a teen, and the horror of which only dawned on me about 6 months after. I was in Belfast meeting a potential new bandmate for my metal band. He wouldn’t be there for another 45 minutes or so, so I thought I’d pass the time in a guitar store, playing a guitar I could never afford, without headphones. I must have ran through Metallica’s entire discography for that full 45 minutes - an incredibly long time. One of the clerks came and chatted with me, and I thought he was just shooting the shit, but in retrospect he was screaming through his eyes “motherfucker, buy something or fuck off, or at least stop playing Enter fucking Sandman”. As I was leaving the store, one of the other guys behind the counter joked “after all that and you’re not even buying something?” but guess what friends? That was no joke. And my parting response to it must have sounded truly fucking psychotic. “What for? Sure I can just come in here and play to my heart’s content for free lol” as the door closes behind me. I don’t even want to imagine what they said about me after I left.
Lads, get that autism diagnosis under your belt as early as you possibly can.
Also, if anyone is having an orgy near Belfast, hit me up! My willy’s pretty small, so I won’t be a bother to anyone. You won’t even know I’m there.
What the fuck did i just read
I dunno but I declare it’s destined to become the next greatest copypasta material.
I want to be their best friend, it’d be a nightmare but fun while it lasted
I’m not having an orgy but you can come wank on the couch at my great uncle’s wake this Saturday. It’ll be a good conversation starter.
oh you’re why Matchett’s hired a bouncer.
I haven’t been to an orgy, but I have gotten a couple of invites over Grindr. There are always so many rules. So don’t worry they’ll tell you.
When mom gets home from work.
Nah that’s when the real fun begins
Don’t let your mom in, Stifler.
But what if Stifler’s mom lets me in?
I’ve never had the pleasure, do orgies have a last call?
I already cum on en passant
The one I helped organize had an end time because of the venue.
Yeah. The basement of the Brooklyn supermarket wasn’t going to keep the spot longer then the first morning trucks.
Didn’t know Grant O’Brien has a Lemmy account
Same way every game of Settlers of Catan does: the women get tired asking who has wood, one person dominates leaving everyone else just watching, and it ends with everyone picking things off the floor wondering if they should have just stayed home and watched Ted Lasso.
Where do the sheep come in?
about the same time the FBI shows up to the orgy I would assume.
Not long ago, I would have assumed you meant the FBI was showing up to put an end to the beastiality
They are there to inspect the female bodies…
Female Baaaaa-dy Inspector
Well first, I’d like to thank you all for coming and last I’d like to thank you all for coming.
I expect porn movies have set OP’s expectations a bit high. Surely at some point the mind is willing but the flesh is weak, right? Or is that just me?
Just tape some popsicles sticks to it and be extra liberal with the lube.
You joke, but they do make like hollow dildos you can wear over your dick, basically like a strap-on.
I feel like the popsicle stick thing would be less embarrassing.
And a lot less comfy on the receiving end.
Meh, throw a condom on it, you’ll be fine.
But WHOSE flesh becomes weak first?
I assume that people drop out as they get tired. Eventually, there’s few enough people involved that it just no longer counts as an orgy. At that exact moment, some people are still going, but the orgy has ended.
I suppose now the question is what’s the minimum number of people to classify it as an orgy. 5 is my best guess.
That sounds right. I’ve heard of a threesome. I’ve heard of a foursome. Never heard of a fivesome. Because that’s when it becomes and orgy.
But what about if it’s a gangbang instead?
So an orgy would need to have 5 people with either 3 genders or at least people of 2 genders.
Noting the charge levied in another comment on this, I’d amend to 5 people with a minimum of two bottoms.
A group of 5 people with 4 tops and 1 bottom probably changes the classification to a gangbang. 1 top and 4 bottoms, a reverse gangbang (and likely tricky to pull off). 2 tops and 3 bottoms, or 3 tops and 2 bottoms, would seem to form the minimum unit to be classified as an orgy. However, further study is needed.
I think we have a scientific definition now
I’d prefer 5 separate genders at my origies, we have the technology
That’s homophobic…
Yeah, cracks in the wall found an issue as well. His proposed minimums of 2 tops, 2 bottoms and 5 people is better.
Every 10 minutes, someone gets voted out Survivor-style.
you joke, but pornographic horny TV game show would be amazing.
get random OF creators as players.
come up with crazy challenges or games…
I would definitely watch it, even if not horny,
the question is, who’s charitmatic enough to host it?
that was a fun watch, thanks
Damn y’all, Mr Beast as charismatic enough to host this specific thing is the funniest joke I’ve seen in this whole thread lmao
However, gotta respect the hustle on the instant “fuck that guy” response, I guess it’s even funnier that way
🤢
No. Different game show: ‘The weakest dink’
Waps someone’s dong with hand
‘you are the weakest dink, goodbye!’
slaps knee welp~!
Time I be headin’ out on the ol’ dustry trail
grabs my underwear and strap on
I assume with food and rehydration, since its not like people will be sleeping over the night.
Why not? Everybody’s spent the night at all the orgies I’ve been to.
honestly that sounds awesome. especially if it’s with people you’ve known prior and like
Where are all the orgies that you’ve been to? My friend wants to know
House parties with people who are in the kink/BDSM scene.
Spent the night sleeping, or eating and leaving in the morning?
People usually fall asleep around 3-4am, then we’d wake up and have brunch and maybe another one before everybody left in the afternoon, depending on other obligations at play.
depending on other obligations at play
🤌
