Murdered by words.
A bit of a tangent, but I posted a review of Rise Against’s song People Live Here. I think the song does more to speak to this topic than anything fox would explore with their viewers.
“Just ignore your adult child. Fox news will take care of you into your advancing old age.”
Im morbidly fascinated how mainstream media will pivot as their primary audience dies out. They aren’t long for new media formats, so maybe they will die out as well
the younger rabid r fans are into the full propaganda stuff, like newsmax, or oan. or mostly the right wing podcasters.
Yep! Not to mention all the streamer chuds who play a bit of Minecraft, then explain to you about how wokeness ruined everything and why Palestinians kids should die, then play Balatro.
Fox News is not mainstream media. Fox News is right-wing propaganda, explicitly set up to steer the country into the fascism that is currently eating the Constitution.
Fox News is not mainstream media.
Fox News was the top news outlet for 5 years in a row as of 2020. How is that not mainstream??
Fox News is right-wing propaganda, explicitly set up to steer the country into the fascism that is currently eating the Constitution.
What part of that precludes it from being mainstream?
I hate to be the one to tell you, but the right wing propaganda machine setup to prevent another Watergate scandal worked better than the creators ever could have expected.
It has more viewers than any other legacy news station, it’s clearly in the mainstream.
Sadly it’s mainstream propaganda.
My best guess is that they move their mainstream to TikTok, Threads, and Instagram.
They pay the companies enough to ensure they aren’t completely blocked from the platforms.
I’ve love to think that the end of the boomers will be the end of the propaganda, but i’m not foolish enough to give that any real hope.
they have a presence on youtube thats for sure.
They probably have one on all platforms I just don’t care to go looking for it.
Let me guess, their “expert” says to double down.
Yup, sorta “stand your ground” with that opinion so we can rule you via divide and conquer and your dependency on feeding your narrative.
I want TV’s with cameras to make sure that all people are watching the two minutes hate in the morning.
–the current administraion probably
If my in-laws watch this show the expert must be telling people to play the victim card whenever direct communication happens and post passive aggressive memes on Facebook.
That’s the narcissist playbook, congrats you have narcs in your life
In many cases, parent-child estrangements are a cycle — “they’ll re-engage, then they’ll fall out again,” Blake said. “One of the key things from the research is that adult children will reach out and if they see nothing has changed, they’ll estrange again.”
No, I actually think it’s a pretty good article, and comes surprisingly close to outright saying the parents are the problem
In my experience, even when I’ve framed it as “something needs to change” to try to be less direct in saying that they need to change, they still just say “correct, you do need to change.” Hopefully some people will get it, though.
A few years ago, my dad was upset about how “you can’t say man or woman anymore. How are you gonna call the cops on someone robbing you? Say ‘It was a person average height!’ Or they’ll arrest you for using the word man!”
I just asked if he was fucking stupid and does that sound like something that would even remotely happen, then said I was leaving if that’s how he thinks and left. Ignored any attempts at contact until he apologized and admitted he might be a little incorrect, which was progress enough to start.
I’m happy that your dad was smart enough to realize that he was being a dumbass and apologized.
I haven’t spoken to my uncle in a year and change because the stupid fuck tries to compare the horrors conservatives had to endure under Biden to people being snatched off the street by masked thugs or being murdered in broad daylight by ICE. I told the dumb fuck he needed to do some thinking and realize why I was mad if he wanted to talk to me again, and I finally blocked him from even texting me cuz the stupid fuck repeatedly texted me me to call him about one thing or another to try to get me to drop my boundary.
I cut my mother out of my life years before (and he agreed with my decision then LOL) for dumb bullshit, I don’t know why he thought he’d be any different.
Lmao that’s the hardest thing is realizing that there’s no magic words that will ever pierce their skull. They keep acting like you speak a foreign language because it’s easier to fake “not getting it” rather than come out and say the truth which is “I don’t value you enough to change my behavior”.
Once I gave up and quit my life got a lot easier.
Do they ever hit you with this one?
“Take responsibility for your actions/decisions!” While ignoring their own responsibility in it…
“You’re putting it all in me, but you had a hand in this, too.” Yeah, no, I never said I blamed her for <incident that broke the camel’s back>, just that it was a really bad experience and one I didn’t want to repeat.
Did you still get “Will you STOP BLAMING ME!!1!” in response to you being uncomfortable with their behavior?
Yeah, that’s fun.
And ignoring the fact that they worship a man who is famous for never taking responsibility for anything, and that is exactly part if the problem in the first place.
I stopped reading as soon as I saw the double length hyphen which means it is almost definitely AI slop.
Or was written at a level above your ability, it would appear.
Fucking sheep are as bad as clankers.
Do you not read books or something? These dashes have been in almost every novel I’ve ever read. They’re a pretty common linguistic convention if you spend any time consuming media that isn’t written in dumbed down internet lingo.
Lots of comic book letters used to (probably still do) use – to separate a little aside from the main thought. After using that for 30 years I learned it was an em-dash.
Dude. I learned to use a double dash for effect back in 1986 and I have used the hell out of that fucker ever since. Stop pretending that there’s one magical symbol that determines 100% that something was written by AI.
Oh ok. So you’re a moron. I understand.
This isn’t as universally true as a lot of people seem to think. I’m not defending this particular article, as I haven’t even read it yet. However MS Word has been auto updating a dash to an em dash for years. Where do you think AI got it from in the first place?
It can be a marker for text that is written in places where plain text is preserved. In a written article that most likely started as a word document? Not always the case.
It’s a punctuation mark. It’s used to connect two related but separate thoughts. People can use it just like ai does.
AI only learned to use it because it’s a pretty common thing for people to use…
I had never even heard of an em-dash until I started reading comments about AI using them. I had always just used a hyphen in the same way. Since I like to think of myself as an educated writer, I started using them. Now people think I’m AI lol.
{{tell amusing story about being mistaken for AI}}
I never even heard it called an em dash until it came up in these AI discussions, it was always a double dash as I knew it.
There’s only one double dash in my universe!
Letsa goo!
No that’s Mario Kart for the gamecube.
This may cause you to blanch with horror, but there was no Mario Kart in 1986.
And we only ate what we hunted and we rode dinosaurs
AI learned that from training data, which means it was used by humans writing this kind of text. At least that was true before AI started feeding on itself.
and use any leverage you got, emotional or material. (It was both in my case)
No, seriously, I’d love to know what the “expert” said.
…
The article itself is boilerplate advice. Basic stuff: really listen, admit your own mistakes, don’t get angry. Avoid labeling. What’s of course more interesting is why adult children choose to cut ties with their FOX-infested parents. And that article is extremely problematic.
L. O. L. That second article has some choice bits. Point 2 is almost good enough to post in its entirety:
“Someone might see a video on TikTok — ‘I cut off my parents, and I’m much happier now. They were toxic narcissistic boundary crossers. And now I’m great,’” he said. “And people mimic that. Or they think, ‘Oh, this person’s getting a lot of attention.’”
Kids are going no contact for attention because of social media
Although he acknowledged that there are no long-term studies that have definitively documented an increase, “that doesn’t mean absence of evidence isn’t evidence of absence.”
Just cuz we don’t have evidence of the thing I’m claiming, that doesn’t mean I’m wrong
According to Blake, society has shifted away from what he described as a “dignity culture” toward one that places greater value on “victim culture.”
“So now it’s a race to the bottom,” he said. “If you don’t have enough victim status because of the way you were born, you can create a victim status by suggesting your parents abused you or neglected you … and therefore you have value, a reason to cut them off.”
And it gets worse… The very next bit
The expert also pointed to what he described as “therapy culture,” claiming that changing attitudes toward trauma and abuse have influenced how some people view relationships with their parents.
People are now seeing abuse for what it is, and abusers are mad about it
“Another justification is, ‘I cut off my parents to protect my mental health’ — and this is a sort of false belief,” he told Fox News Digital. “There is this huge bias that if you’re struggling in your adult life, it must be because your parents did something they shouldn’t or didn’t do something.”
Yep, we’re just faking being miserable dealing with magat family members how abused and mistreated us from childhood to adulthood. Clearly sticking by them is better for your mental health.
Blake also raised the issue of “moralized language,” or “therapy words” that get thrown at parents — “such as abuse, toxic, boundaries, narcissists, gaslighting.”
Yeah, even though he quickly follows it up with legit advice like asking for evidence of the behavior and using ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ or avoiding ‘always’/‘never’ statements, that is a whole color guard of red flags that tell me this dude needs to go fornicate with a cactus before anyone listens to him.
I’ve had a narcissist parent attempt to try to DARVO my setting boundaries to protect my mental health from her emotional abuse into me being the toxic one because I wouldn’t keep tolerating the cycle of abuse.
“If you look at the outcomes of the gentle parenting or the permissive parenting that we’ve slipped into, we have the most mentally ill generation in history, the least fit for adulthood,” Blake suggested. “Perhaps we should be learning from our grandparents more than the therapists.”
Yeah, we should just beat our children till they fall in line, or throw them in an asylum where we don’t have to look at or deal with them. Much better.
This dude can get entirely fucked.
They quoted the same Texas psychologist for both, and lordy does he come off as much more of a far right loon in the latter.
For context, he blames “victim culture,” “gender ideology,” “therapy” and “tiktok” for estrangement. Pretty clear to see where his biases lie.
All of his arguments boil down to “Keep your kids from finding support and you can keep them on your Boomer Plantation forever!”
You just reminded me not to call my mother.
I want to both laugh with you AND say I am sorry you experience(d) all that.
When your mother’s sense of humor conflates mental abuse for funny…
“Therapy is so bad for the children! It’s turning them against their abusive parents by allowing them to start the process of healing, after which they begin to realize that healing will always be limited to a cycle of progression and regression until they cut out the toxic people who repeatedly sabotage their growth every time they start to show improvement. I’m so tired of this victim culture where the children of abusive parents act like they’re the victims! Why can’t they just take responsibility for their own decisions, such as being born to a particular family, or being neglected and constantly put down by the very people who are supposed to be a source of safety and stability in their lives? When I was their age everyone in the neighborhood’s dads were all war veterans with PTSD who would beat the shit out of us and send us to the store to buy milk and cigarettes. We all turned out fine! Now get off my lawn.”
I wouldn’t be shocked if they said to kidnap said adult children and send them to reeducation camps brought to you by PragerU
Even better, it was “hostage negotiation tactics.”
I had a read through, and they’re entirely not stating anything about “quit being fascist,” naturally.
Or taking responsibility, also feels like it manipulates the narrative. Reading some of this is giving me PTSD anxiety from dealing with my parents. Knowingly trapping you into proving how they make you feel. Because you can’t come up with examples on the spot when they corner you means you must be making this up.
Using anxiety against you, that sucks I’m sorry. I’m the same way, especially when attention is on me I freeze and can’t give examples. I started writing them letters but I don’t think they ever read them. 😑
Nothing about politics=>ethics at all really. It’s pretty boilerplate stuff for how to communicate constructively.
The article 5 reasons people cut off their own parents is much more interesting and, erm, problematic.
Definitely problematic but as you say an interesting piece of fiction.
The article’s not that bad, some folk aren’t happy!
This would be fine if that’s their reaction. But you know those people are constantly complaining to everyone about how their child doesn’t talk to them, trying to contact their kid, or, if they’re cut off, guilt tripping mutual family into contacting their kid. It’s part of the reason they get cut off in the first place.
Absolutely insane that people live like this
That’s the top comment under the article? Wow. Well, what else did we expect.
Without reading more, that last one seems pretty rational at least. I imagine the ‘See More’ label is hiding some absolute venom though, or maybe just “it’s their loss, I’ve no need to reflect on how my actions led to this outcome”.
This seems a good excuse to repost his fascinating post about estrangement: https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/
Is lemmy ready for raised by narcissists/borderline? I
had to ration myself because I could get real upset reading too much of it, but it was also so so helpful to a) give names and ideas to things that happened to me and b) letting me know that my mother was not special and unique, but actually incredibly predictable.
Great article, part of a series of great articles.
yep highly recommend giving the whole thing a read it is eye-opening
*this
Expert is from Texas, just kinda want to put that out there lol article is about how you would expect it to be feels a bit manipulative while also sounding professional.
I’d just like to say that being from Texas by itself doesn’t indicate anything. Many million people here are not Republicans
Never met anyone who was proud to be from Texas that wasn’t a massive piece of shit. Feels like everyone decent living there hates it and wants to leave.
As you suspect, the progressive-minded aren’t exactly boasting about being from Texas these days. You’ve probably met plenty of us and had no idea.
Back when Ann Richards was Governor, however…
I’m definitely proud to be from Texas. Having a terrible state government does not define me or my community. I love where I live and can frankly count the number of Trump supporters I engage with on a daily basis on one hand
What are you proud of? We’re not talking about your little piece of it, we’re talking about Texas en masse.
In a lot of ways, that’s like Anne Frank being proud of her attic
Which year at university are you?
I ask because only children and sophomores talk like this.
I live on the outskirts of Harris County, one of the greatest bastions of blueness in the entire state, and I can tell you you’re gonna need more hands to count the Trump supporters you’ll encounter around here.
Where in Texas are you from?
'cause only self-superior graduate students and sheep-fuckers talk like that
Your attempt at an analogy is offensive to the reality faced by Anne Frank. Whatever dude, you’re not able to define my experience either from wherever you are
toughen up Skippy
and go tone police somewhere else
No, but the Republicans are extra shitty there.
Are they though? Republicans are awful everywhere. I also think the Texas Legislature is a surprising place, the House in particular, where rural Republicans align with Democrats on a number of issues and regularly kill bills together. Of course none of that stuff hits national headlines though, just the bad stuff that gets through. All I’m saying is thank gods I don’t live in Florida
No, there are some states where they’re in par with Texas Republicans, or almost, but I’m general, Texas Republicans are worse than those in other regions.
For example?
I dunno, whatever dipshit decided to disconnect Texas from the power grid the rest of the country is on and killed a bunch of people that one winter. Haven’t seen another state do that yet
The first blackout-- yeah that’s right, they did it to us twice-- my mom fell in the kitchen in the dark and hit her head. She was in a coma for a year then died. Fuck Greg Abbott.
There’s plenty the state could have done to prevent that through regulation, a plan was even outlined in a state report following a similar but less severe event in 2011. They could have mandated natural gas plants and wind turbines to winterize, most importantly. Many of those deaths fell directly on the heads of Rick Perry and Greg Abbott, who collectively appointed every member of the Public Utility Commission that failed to implement that plan.
And also, that weather event was unprecedented in Texas recorded history in terms of its severity and its duration. No one who lives here had ever experienced anything like it, because the weak jet stream that caused the polar vortex to sag down to fucking Texas is a direct result of climate change and was new. I blame Texas state leadership, who don’t represent me or my interests, for many of the deaths, but I’m not blaming any people or government for having difficulty containing a disaster of that magnitude. After Superstorm Sandy, over 8 million people in NY/NJ lost power. In New England in 2008, millions of people lost power for almost 2 weeks after an ice storm. Severe weather fucks shit up
I shouldn’t have read the comments.
“If someone says, ‘When you criticize my weight, I left dinner feeling really, really upset,’ that’s a fact. That’s the person’s interpretation,” he said.
I don’t feel like thats an interpretation. Why call it a fact and interpretation, did you fail high-school writer?
I took it to mean that feelings are facts - meaning the parent should take it as a true statement about their child’s feelings and not try to argue with them about why their feelings are wrong.
Not well phrased at all.
It seems poorly worded. I think they were trying to say that the person’s interpretation of what happened is a fact. Basically that someone can’t handwave away how a person says they feel as if it’s not true; how a person says they genuinely felt about something is true to them. I assume it is supposed to be targeted towards estranged parents who constantly dismissed their child’s emotions and literally cannot understand how that is a bad thing to do.
It’s doublethink. They’ve been peddling it for like decades now.
Its manipulative, its like making someone cry and then telling them feelings aren’t facts.
They are saying that the persons subjective feeling is in fact subjective, and if just because you didn’t mean it that way doesn’t mean that that is how it’s interpreted.
deleted by creator
