Hi, I have attention-deprived homosexual disaster disorder, and I medicate with extreme amounts of caffeine.

Really? You want to post slop on Lemmy? That’s what went through your brain? That’s what you considered a good enough idea that you’d execute it?

Today on Horde Kitchen I’m gonna teach you how to make hot moldy cheese while being attacked on all sides relentlessly. Now, you’re gonna need to find a microwave, and once you do, slap that rotten cheese on in there and set it to high. Don’t mind the smell, it’s killing the audience around you as fast as it’s choking you out. Now when your cheese is cooked, cook it again. You can make cheese out of anything: sunglasses, keys, bracelets, if it’s food or spelled with the same alphabet food is spelled with, you can make cheese out of it. Oops, I just got touched by a random goblin who fell off the cliff I was standing next to. Until next time, on Horde Kitchen!

A former friend of mine voice acted in Borderlands 3. The moment I heard their voice I shut the game off and sold the disc back to the store, a long time ago.

In a way, they spared me a lot of boredom. I like to think I put those abruptly-refunded hours into Clair Obscur.

No, Tanis, you put them into a ton of failed Megabonk runs that you got slightly ticked off at, so the net effect emotionally was basically the same.

Turtles are so much better than he ever was.

Rest in piss.

🐢

I want to shit as effortlessly as Trump, but with control.

We can learn things more than once. God forbid we forgot what happened when we elected Trump the first time.

Cool, yes, but if there’s only one thing we learned in the last year, the courts have no enforcement against the feds.

Newspapers can’t warn Trump cause he can’t read.

God, I hate that game,

she says, on her thirty-fifth consecutive pacifist attempt on Forest 1, as Sir Oofie, desperately aching for that thorns tome to come up

We will outlive this desiccated ham sandwich.

You know, the reason my name won’t ever surface in the Epstein Files is cause I didn’t go there and fuck children. I can’t help but wonder if Musk tried that strategy. Maybe him skill issue?

Shrimps is bugs?

Buddy, I get that you’re a cis hetero white guy, and that all the time is your time to weigh in and tell people how bad stuff is,

but would you not? Please?

My wife spent a large portion of the morning crying because ICE seized her passport a while back, she paid the replacement fee, and it came back with an M on it.

You’re prolly well meaning, but goddammit now is not the time considering that trans people are being specifically targeted.

Don’t reply.

You just repeated trans people two more times.

We have the best shitposts because we’ve been horribly traumatized at large and we’re not okay.

Yeah, you’re right, even when people have hit rock bottom, they’ll just get a more powerful subterranean speed-tunneller.

The world puts an unbelievable amount of emphasis on having sex as a mandatory aspiration. Most advertising is coded for either sex or hunger or fear. Most people are sexual people who frame things sexually, even subtly. Douglas Adams even once wrote that the basis of literally every construction and technology and artistic work on the planet was to impress someone of the opposite sex.

Needless to say, it’s hard to keep from internalizing some of this in some way. If you’d look at r/asexuality and the Lemmy asexual communities, you’d see a lot of people realizing “oh shit, I’m not broken!” after spending whole-ass years thinking they were.

There is still a small voice inside me that says I’m an idiot for not chasing sex. I can’t help it. Society is pervasive.

I’m quite convinced that everyone with nine digits of wealth to their name is in there. Probably a lot of people with eight and seven.

I mean, I’m a 40-year-old virgin, but being asexual and sex-repulsed means I’m not desperate and needy.

However, the asexuality sadly disqualifies me for the wizard powers.