I felt sorry for you until you mentioned the Browns. Now I feel really sorry for you. Browns Bros Untied!

Where I live now (Philly suburb) there used to be a local bakery which was beloved, but their landlord raised their rent on them and they had to shut down. The location then sat vacant for about 7 years. I’m no finance wizard, but how does it make any sense to go from whatever their rent was previously to zero fucking rental income? A couple of months ago a fucking Wonder finally opened there, so maybe that explains it – no real business can possibly compete with a company burning through venture capital.

The new GoBlo Yourself.

Needs more snails.

Why do bars have parking lots?

They’re still a thing everywhere in Louisiana. They put a piece of scotch tape over the lid which of course is just a completely unsolvable puzzle until you get home with it.

Corporations hire masses of people to create the illusion of growth. Then they fire masses of people to create the illusion of competence. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

I really wish they’d had the balls and/or the legal power to keep calling it FruityLoops.

I mean, Henry VIII spun off the Anglican church so he could properly call it a biscuit.

Caliper brakes? I’ll bet that thing didn’t even cost ten grand – embarrassment to cycling.

Tom Cruise. Vampire. THE Ohio State University.

Unfortunately the pope’s opinion is basically from the same place as not teaching black people to read and write.

Exactly! I mean, why wouldn’t you think that doing that would delete everything on the disk instead of just ejecting it?

I would love to chain up some Apple UX/UI designers and force them to watch my 90 yo mother try to use her fucking iPhone.

My favorite fucked-up thing from the past was the Macintosh circa 1990. The disk drive on this thing had no eject button – to eject a disk, you just did the oh-so-fucking-intuitive thing of dragging the disk icon over the trash can icon. But they did very conveniently place the big knobby power button for the whole computer (which looked exactly like an eject button) right above the disk drive. I spent a year constantly powering off the computer every time I wanted to just eject the disk.

If I had to work for Zuck I’d be fucking thrilled to be on the buddy yacht instead of the main ship.

My brother had his kids at 41 and 43. He loves it except for the fact that everyone assumes he’s their grandfather.

Whether that sucks or not kinda depends on the cereal.

I’m nearing 60 and I feel like I must be about 110. Not physically, because I’m in great shape, bike 25-50 miles a day, work out, keep myself thin. But I’ve done so many different things in my life, different careers, lived lots of different places, that it feels like I’ve lived many lifetimes already. And since I grew up in the era of three TV channels, I think I’m already living in science fiction. People talk about their lives going by in a flash, but I kind of think that’s a consequence of just doing the same things day after day.

I’m mainly thankful that I don’t have any kids to worry about and that it’s possible I’ll be dead before the climate shit really hits the fan. Being killed by robots is looking very realistic, unfortunately.

He spent a fortune in reddit psychophants, cartoon spotlights, TV exposure, and other media to get people the progressives to like him.

Has Dave Chappelle ever said how much Elon paid him to appear onstage with him?

“This is my son, Kevlar.”