lemmy.4d2.org
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 天前

Give me some good ones

lemmy.world

message-square
146
link
fedilink
972

Give me some good ones

lemmy.world

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 天前
message-square
146
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • officermike@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    186
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    9 天前

    wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      30
      ·
      9 天前

      Was that actually in the show? I don’t remember that one.

      • tias@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        64
        ·
        9 天前

        Don’t think so. It’s a Nigerian expression.

        • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          68
          ·
          9 天前

          There are some good ones:

          Unlike the stomach, the brain does not tell when it’s empty

        • antonymous_bosch69@feddit.org
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          9 天前

          When someone finds a problem to every solution: They are the enemy of progress

          So many good ones in there thank you for sharing!

          • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            8 天前

            Leftist infighting in a nutshell

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        8 天前

        I swear I remember pausing it to go “did he really just say that?!” But rewatching the pictured scene in S2E19 he’s speaking with Aang who would not be a worthy recipient of such a burn, and he doesn’t say such a thing to Zuko in that episode

    • Digit@lemmy.wtf
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      8 天前

      Faster than wisdom. Ha! Gotta remember that.

  • NirodhaAvidya@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    145
    ·
    9 天前

    Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.

    • nailingjello@piefed.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      9 天前

      Bravo, that one took the most thought to figure out it was backhanded.

    • v3r4@lemmy.org
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      9 天前

      Really got me till the third thought xd

  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    141
    ·
    9 天前

    Shakespeare had a banger.

    “I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.”

    I also like.

    “I could agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

    • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      66
      ·
      9 天前

      “I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

      A former co-worker got me with this one many years ago. I laughed out loud. I’ve never forgotten it.

    • CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      9 天前

      Got in a literal fistfight in middle school using that first one. Pretty sure they didn’t understand it, and lashed out from ignorance.

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        9 天前

        Did you win?

        • CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          8 天前

          Not technically, but they got expelled for it, so yes.

      • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        7 天前

        A duel with fists is still a duel

    • Matt The Horwood@lemmy.horwood.cloud
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      9 天前

      I have a cup with the last line on it

  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    94
    ·
    9 天前

    You’re really at the top of the bell curve!

    • runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      ·
      9 天前

      Your intelligence is at least on the top 95% of people.

      • Jankatarch@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        9 天前

        This took actually long to kick LMAO

        • bastion@feddit.nl
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          9 天前

          me too, but mainly due to “on” rather than “in”.

          …I’d also replace “at least” with “possibly”.

          • Digit@lemmy.wtf
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            8 天前

            probably

    • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      9 天前

      so average? is that an insult

      • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        47
        ·
        9 天前

        It sounds like you’re calling them intelligent when you’re really saying they’re nothing special.

      • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        9 天前

        For about half the people, yea.

        • thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          8 天前

          more than a half, becasue those not in the half like to think that they are in the half

          • SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            8 天前

            Good point, but now I’m confused about were I am on the curve.

      • luciferofastora@feddit.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        8 天前

        Most people like to feel like they’re better than most. Mediocrity is an insult to them.

        Blessed are the simpletons that never realise or just don’t give a fuck.

      • Digit@lemmy.wtf
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        8 天前

        Yes

    • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      9 天前

      You represent the 5th percentile really well!

  • borokov@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    82
    ·
    9 天前

    You are hard to underestimate.

  • 18107@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    74
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    9 天前

    “See you soon!”

    “Not if I see you first”

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      9 天前

      That one took me decades to understand, after someone explained it.

      • portifornia@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        9 天前

        There’s something to explain? I must be missing something. What’s the explanation, please?

        • cvieira@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          27
          ·
          9 天前

          The implication is that if you see them before they see you, you’ll make sure to avoid them.

          • portifornia@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            17
            ·
            9 天前

            Ohhhhh! 😂 I had, in all my years, never realized it was so cheeky.

            Thank you! (Me => xkcd’s 1/10,000 today)

            • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              9 天前

              Yeah before it was explained it to me, I always thought it was meaningless banter.

            • piranhaconda@mander.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              8 天前

              I literally dropped my jaw and smacked myself on my forehead, not kidding. I’ve also heard it before but never realized haha

            • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              7 天前

              To be fair I think that a lot of people also just say it the way you were understanding it, without intending hidden burn meaning…

          • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            9 天前

            I’m going to use this, and the other insults here on some “friends”, that earned my ire.

        • Deebster@infosec.pub
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          8 天前

          If person 2 sees p1, they will avoid p1

  • Almacca@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    67
    ·
    9 天前

    “That’s a surprisingly confident take.”

    • IEatDaFeesh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      9 天前

      “I love your confidence”

      https://youtu.be/pC4Y5EJD8uU

      • Digit@lemmy.wtf
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        8 天前

        Reminds me of “bless your heart”.

  • Romer@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    66
    ·
    9 天前

    You are a testament to the quality of the educational system.

  • OBJECTION!@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    66
    ·
    9 天前

    Colbert at Bush’s correspondence dinner:

    The greatest thing about about this man is that he’s steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday… no matter what happened on Tuesday.

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      8 天前

      A burn so severe, so long-lasting, that he no longer has to pay to heat his home.

  • nailingjello@piefed.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    60
    ·
    9 天前

    Not directly related, but I’ve always liked the comeback

    I’ve been called worse by better people

  • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    54
    ·
    9 天前

    Almost every British insult is like this.

    • I admire your courage in wearing that!
    • Your personality is unique.
    • I’m genuinely impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
    • Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
    • You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
    • You’re really very special, aren’t you?
    • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      9 天前

      Best one is to respond to something they say with “Oh that’s quite interesting” in the flatest tone possible, then move the conversation on to a different topic or exit.

      Works particularly well on Americans because in American English “quite” is an amplifier modifier but their brain will be confused by the flat (not sarcastic) tone.

    • HurricaneLiz@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      9 天前

      Those are cold 😂

  • Birch@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    50
    ·
    9 天前

    You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.

  • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    48
    ·
    9 天前

    This one’s not so brainy, but considering the character it was addressed to it was enough - that being one of my favorite lines from the show Firefly: “Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”

  • treesquid@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    9 天前

    Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high

  • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    44
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    9 天前

    These kinds of insults just make people sound like redditors.

    • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      9 天前

      What are the odds that a significant portion of Lemmy/Piefed users weren’t at one time exactly that? I figure that number’s gotta be pretty low.

      • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        9 天前

        Yeah, but you can be a redditor without being a redditor (derogatory).

      • thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        8 天前

        I am probably one of few lemmings who have never had a reddit account

        • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          8 天前

          Enjoy your innocence while you can because you’re surrounded, I’m afraid.

    • bastion@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      9 天前

      Savage!

      • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        9 天前

        You can say that again.

        • Akatsuki Levi@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          9 天前

          Savage!

    • bastion@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      9 天前

      Savage!

      • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        9 天前

        You can say that again.

        • Digit@lemmy.wtf
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          8 天前

          Savage!

    • bastion@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      9 天前

      savage!

      • Ricky Rigatoni@retrolemmy.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        9 天前

        you can say that again.

        • Digit@lemmy.wtf
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          8 天前

          Savage!

          • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            8 天前

            You can say that again

            • Digit@lemmy.wtf
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              8 天前

              I don’t know if I can… getting burned out, by all the savagery.

    • Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      8 天前

      I wouldn’t come here if it weren’t for self satisfied know it all’s balanced by insecure smarty-pants’.

      With a sprinkling of whatever grammar-Nazi wants to correct my comments.

      I generally try to hang out with people smarter/more experienced than I in the hopes some of it rubs off on me.

      But, I’m also a pretentious twat, so there’s also that.

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 3.96K users / day
  • 8.96K users / week
  • 14.2K users / month
  • 25.9K users / 6 months
  • 9 local subscribers
  • 36.7K subscribers
  • 14.5K Posts
  • 249K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.13
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org