• Flickerby@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    This is just blatantly false, men’s rights do vary wildly state by state. I get what this is saying and I agree with the message but presenting a good message behind a lie doesn’t make it any less of a lie.

      • wheezy@lemmy.ml
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        5 hours ago

        I think they’re being a “technically Andy” and saying that different states have different laws for everyone.

        The original post is clearly talking about laws that apply specifically to those assigned female at birth. So the comment your replying to is just purposely ignoring that. It happens all the time to liberals that are more concerned with being “correct” than actually just.

        Now, trans men’s rights DEFINITELY vary state to state. But I highly doubt that’s what they were talking about.

        The only other possible thing I could think of would be how divorce and child support is handled state by state (which is just another thing pushed by the right wing politicians). Maybe some obscure differences between access to TRT? But, again, it’s just a comment that is giving no context to the original post and then just ignoring the fact that there is no law towards men, and their rights to their bodies, that is anywhere near what abortion laws control. (Again, excluding trans men. But if the comment you replied to cared about that they would have mentioned it.)

        Clearly the original post isn’t debating about how it’s unfair that in Kentucky the passengers in cars can drink alcohol but in other states they can’t. It’s not a law about gender/sex. The top comment in this thread is just critizing the original post in bad faith for no real reason but being “technically correct”. And for some reason it’s being up voted without mentioning literally any law comparable on the level of anti abortion laws.

        I’m welcome to be proven wrong. But, seriously, there is a reason they didn’t mention a specific law targeting men in certain states.

    • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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      22 hours ago

      I am also very supportive of women’s rights but lying is not helpful.

      Honestly the point that it tries to make is not the point that it makes either. It could be understood as “let’s ban abortion everywhere”, and I don’t think that is the point that it tries to make.

      I am in favor of bodily autonomy and I don’t care what the law currently is anywhere, it should be a given.

      • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        I am also very supportive of women’s rights but lying is not helpful.

        Worth knowing: although they attract a lot of anti-feminist losers, the “men’s rights” activists are absolutely correct that men do not universally have the same support programs or even legal presumptions that women do. These can vary widely from state to state and even from court to court.

        It’s not nearly as big an issue as “they want her to die from a miscarriage”, but “they presume he’s the inferior parent” or “they presume he caused the violence even if he’s the one bleeding” are also sexist oppression.

        (Comparisons to the anti-woke “all lives matter” bullshit are apt – men can and should recognize that relatively minor slights and injustices are not nearly as urgent as denying pregnant humans life-saving care!)

        • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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          15 hours ago

          To be fair, the vast majority of these are societal standards and not rights, they are still absolutely important and we need to do more for equality both for women and for men, but strictly speaking they are not by definition rights.

          But I am in agreement with you that I think a lot of why the younger generation are being pulled in the wrong direction is because men, of which I am one, have not done enough to create an environment that addresses issues that primarily affects men in a way that is not based on misogyny.

          Don’t get me wrong, the alt-right have absolutely tried to exacerbate these issues (either knowingly or unknowingly) and use them for their own gains, but we as a society have also not prioritized emotionally healthy solutions and that has led us to where we are.

          • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
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            14 hours ago

            I think we have a right to be judged fairly and not because of our gender or sex. But that’s a semantic point and I don’t want to quibble.

            I do want to push back on excusing from women their responsibility for the society we live in, however. (Or just underline an implied point we may both share.)

            Nearly every man I know values the opinions of women at least as much as those of other men. When a boy sees his mom belittle his father for being insufficiently manly, he hears a lesson that sexism is bad. When a man tells a boy that the way to get a girlfriend is to be a sexist jerk the boy listens, not because he cares about the con artist, but because he’s desperate for a girl who cares about him.

            Men have a lot of the big levers of power, and do bear a proportionate share of our own blame, but we shouldn’t excuse women who use the power they have in ways that make our society worse.

            We’re all in this together, and all need to do what we can to make the world we pass to our children better than the one our parents passed on to us.

        • DempstersBox@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          if they assume he’s the inferior parent, why do the men win custody almost every fucking time they try, whereas the woman involved gets the kid dumped on her, completely, with no child support orders unless she fights for them, anytime the guy doesn’t want anything to do with the kid he knocked her up with?

        • Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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          20 hours ago

          I would agree and disagree.

          You are right but I think “ignoring” “men’s issues” harms the feministic cause and consequently the “dying of miscarriage” problem. As sad as it is PR is sometimes very important and e.g. the lie in the post doesn’t help the PR and a lot of young men don’t feel supported but attacked by the current framing of feminism.

          • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
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            16 hours ago

            I think we agree and agree.

            I was careful not to use the word “ignore”, because the answer to anyone sharing how they were harmed by sexism should never be anything less than “that’s horrible and I hate that it happened to you.”

            Sexist women who claim to be “feminist” and yet feel free to denigrate men or dismiss their perspective are terrible advocates for the cause.

            (Not “their” cause, because sexism is an evil that harms everyone and everyone should be against it.)

            (And sealions who claim to be “men’s rights activists” but just want to be sexist anti-feminist trolls are at least as bad.)

    • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      if you’re going to be pedantic then you’re sort of right. however, no state bans men from potentially life saving medical procedures when you need them.

      • stevestevesteve@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        Yes they do? There are all kinds of potentially life saving procedures that are illegal in various jurisdictions. There’s no state with a blanket ban that says women can’t get medical care. (Yet? Ugh.). And generally, abortions you’re referring to are equally illegal for men and women when they are banned. OPs post is intentionally and pointlessly divisive, badly tainting their message by basing it on a clear lie

        • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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          20 hours ago

          Um… so, first and foremost, I know trans people exist, however, I’m not sure how many men are rushing to get an abortion…

          • Jyek@sh.itjust.works
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            16 hours ago

            Does the number matter? This should be about equal rights for all people regardless of race gender, sex, genetic make-up, age, or governing body. Feminism is for everyone. Treating men like feminism is not for them keeps men from backing feminist causes.

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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              13 hours ago

              Absolutely, but some laws can specifically impact the needs of a particular gender, historically pretty much always women. Treating everyone completely equal in cases like these tends to marginalize groups of people, which is why equity is more important than equality.

        • njm1314@lemmy.world
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          19 hours ago

          Ugh. I mean shit guy really? Making the argument that it’s equally illegal for a man to get an abortion as a woman therefore it’s not different is the stupidest fucking argument I’ve ever seen in my life.

    • Digit@lemmy.wtf
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      18 hours ago

      Yup.

      Glad someone responded to this like that.

      As a man, try purport yourself the same from state to state, as if the rules and rights of one are carried over everywhere just because you’re a man. XD

        • wheezy@lemmy.ml
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          5 hours ago

          Can you point to a specific law targeting men that is based on their body anatomy? Not men that are targeted for race, gender vs. sex identity, or sexual orientation.

          Literally, just asking for one specific law comparable to anti abortion laws. Thanks.

          There is no section in the PDF you linked talking about laws that restrict the rights of cis based on them being cis men. Trans men, yes, but I don’t think that’s the context of what the original post was talking about. Maybe I missed it though.

          Or is this all a misunderstanding of the OOP not considering trans men? I’m confused.

        • PeacefulForest@lemmy.world
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          18 hours ago

          I think that’s perhaps the issue with the post. It’s not men’s rights don’t vary by state. Because I’m sure there are some that do. I think the point here is what men’s rights to healthcare vary by state?

            • PeacefulForest@lemmy.world
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              13 hours ago

              It’s really weird that men want control over women. Maybe if they minded their own business I wouldn’t have a bad opinion of men.

              You and I both know healthcare was the point of this post, so by ignoring that, you moved the post. Fuck off

      • Soulg@ani.social
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        22 hours ago

        The post does not specify reproductive rights, it just says rights.

      • lapping6596@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        As far as I know none. But barriers to being able to get one is wildly different. I know in New York, there’s a 30 day waiting period after having a consultation with the dr before they are allowed to operate.

        • wheezy@lemmy.ml
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          5 hours ago

          Is a life-saving emergency vasectomy a thing? I feel like this whole comment section is just incapable of understanding the degree of the law being discussed and the impact on an individuals life.

          Like, it would be unfair if in California men were not allowed to jwalk but women were. Kind of odd. But, like, what the fuck are we even talking about if we’re comparing that to something on the level of a often life saving medical procedure?

          I’m autistic. But this comment section is making me feel neuro-typical for how incredibly hyperfocused it is on trying to act like the OOP is “technically wrong”. And the best example I can find talking about cis men is your comment. I gotta be missing something. Are people really saying there is some law comparable to anti abortion laws that target cis men? I really hope it’s not a 30 day waiting period for a vasectomy when the same thing probably applies for non medically necessary hysterectomys as well. Seriously, did you even look up the laws on hysterectomys in the the same state? Because that’s a much more risky procedure that likely has even more restrictions.

        • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          21 hours ago

          No they are comparing men’s rights to women’s.

          Women’s rights to life saving medical care (abortion) is being denied.

          • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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            19 hours ago

            That is true, but it doesn’t mean the person you originally replied to is wrong. What they said is also true. Presenting what you did as a counterargument makes no sense.

        • DempstersBox@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          Well I don’t know, but have you had six separate $150+ appointments with your doc who asks you questions ranging from “well what does your boyfriend of two weeks want” to “are you really sure?” to “we’re going to have to ask you attend this six week course on why it’s important to produce a legacy before we can sign off on this. Then we’ll see what your insurance has to say”

          • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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            44 minutes ago

            The topic was illegal procedures, the person I replied to was comparing a vasectomy to abortion by asking which states it is illegal in.

            The comparison isn’t valid. A vasectomy isn’t remotely the same procedure as an abortion.

            Well I don’t know

            You could check before posting so that you would know.

            If you did, you would find out that there are 0 states in the United States where either tubal ligation or vasectomies are illegal.

            I do agree that the access to care situation is shit and caused by sexist lawmakers and doctors.

            But, just because you agree with someone, doesn’t mean you can’t tell them that they’re making irrational arguments. If people want to continue to push for change, it’s important that everyone is capable of understanding the issues and know how to argue them effectively.

            Making outrage baiting statements are good for social media engagement, but they’re antithetical to convincing people to change.

        • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          20 hours ago

          Which states is abortion, a life saving medical procedure illegal?

          Sorry, I don’t have a direct men’s version of this.

        • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          21 hours ago

          It seems like the same people that get mad about black lives matter, screaming white lives matter are here.

          • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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            10 hours ago

            The message “black lives matter” was intentionally amplified to sow dissent along racial lines.

          • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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            21 hours ago

            No, this is very different than that. This is about supporting one group without intentionally putting down another.

            • Montagge@lemmy.zip
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              9 hours ago

              No, this is very different than that. This is about supporting one group without intentionally putting down another.

              Y’all always tell on yourselves lol

            • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              21 hours ago

              Women have a long history of having less rights than men.

              When did they allow women to start voting? That is just one example

              • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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                20 hours ago

                First, sorry, but it’s fewer rights, not less rights, since it’s countable.

                Second, sure, that’s true. That’s not what this is about though. There’s no reference above to which group is more privileged. It’s only talking about the fact that, in some places, the rights of men (and all people) do differ. I’m sure you can recognize this is true, right? Some states protect (or, rather, don’t infringe on) some rights more than others, for all people, right? If you agree then the statement of the OP is definitively untrue, and the comment above is accurate.

              • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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                21 hours ago

                Does anyone in this thread disagree with that? I haven’t seen a single example.

          • stevestevesteve@lemmy.world
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            20 hours ago

            If someone posted “white women’s rights don’t vary state by state, but black women’s do”, they would rightfully be called out for posting nonsense. But you’d be there saying “no but black women have it worse tho” That’s the equivalent. It’s a clearly false statement intended to make one group an enemy instead of an ally and you shouldn’t be defending it so blindly

    • varnia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      24 hours ago

      Agreed, this message makes a valid point with good intentions, but it will likely face harsh criticism from misogynists - without actually achieving anything meaningful.

      • Soulg@ani.social
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        22 hours ago

        Why do you think it’s not possible to both acknowledge that women have it worse and also that there are things they negatively impact men as well? They’re not mutually exclusive.

        • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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          21 hours ago

          Trying to fix men’s problems doesn’t mean women don’t have problems or the shouldn’t be fixed. Oppression Olympics aren’t productive for anyone.

      • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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        21 hours ago

        This will also face criticism of normal people, and that kind of is the point.

        If you put up messages like these, then automatically call valid criticism mysogenistic, then you can’t call yourself the good guy/gal anymore

        This is like politicians making some bullshit argument about protecting kids from abuse and anyone trying to give criticism automatically is in the “are you a pedophile, then?” camp.

        If you have an argument to make, make a valid one and keep your auto judgement system off.