2 of the grip of people that said it to me, said it like it was a curse. Like the only lesson they leaned in their whole damned lives was to treat their partner like a partner. Ruefully. Regretfully, they learned their ego wasn’t enough, and admitted it in a moment when they needed to foist their greatest insight on a relative (or relative’s kid’s fiance), and that’s just what spilled out of their arrogant Boomer mouths.
3 definitely said it like “this is actually the rule to know.” An insight they shared neutrally. Well, one more like a 1000 yard stare.
One, and one alone, asked if I knew it. My spouse and I got married after 5+years together, so it was a fair question. I knew already.
It’s more like a swear, to either the gods above or below. Take your pick.
I see… I guess the saying just seems too simplistic. The happiness of a long-term partner is a tricky thing to manage. Like on one hand, I try to do what I can to make a long-term partner happy. On the other hand, I had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes they’re just gonna be unhappy because of things going on in their lives that I have no control over, or of traumas in their past they’re still struggling with, or of chemical/hormonal changes that happen because of life stages, etc. Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting them the help that they need and trying to be supportive. And there are pitfalls like being careful not to enable self-destructive behavior or abandoning your own happiness while trying to help them with theirs. So when I see a saying like that, it’s like a curse of reductiveness.
Well, curse of reductiveness in that worn, trite sayings are about all you have time to say and have remembered on a day when a lot is going on and things are crazy. Any advice given to me on that day bounced right off of my brain, and it was an uncle I admire that was the first to tell me that people will say “happy wife, happy life” to me, and to count how many times, but to know it’s also a valid advice. The situation forces the reductiveness. It is sort of interesting to me how it’s possible to say the same fairly specific words, and people come at it from varied perspectives to arrive at a truth in the phrase.
oh gods is it like a curse? if so how do I get rid of it?
Amazing question! Yes, but also no.
2 of the grip of people that said it to me, said it like it was a curse. Like the only lesson they leaned in their whole damned lives was to treat their partner like a partner. Ruefully. Regretfully, they learned their ego wasn’t enough, and admitted it in a moment when they needed to foist their greatest insight on a relative (or relative’s kid’s fiance), and that’s just what spilled out of their arrogant Boomer mouths.
3 definitely said it like “this is actually the rule to know.” An insight they shared neutrally. Well, one more like a 1000 yard stare.
One, and one alone, asked if I knew it. My spouse and I got married after 5+years together, so it was a fair question. I knew already.
It’s more like a swear, to either the gods above or below. Take your pick.
I see… I guess the saying just seems too simplistic. The happiness of a long-term partner is a tricky thing to manage. Like on one hand, I try to do what I can to make a long-term partner happy. On the other hand, I had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes they’re just gonna be unhappy because of things going on in their lives that I have no control over, or of traumas in their past they’re still struggling with, or of chemical/hormonal changes that happen because of life stages, etc. Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting them the help that they need and trying to be supportive. And there are pitfalls like being careful not to enable self-destructive behavior or abandoning your own happiness while trying to help them with theirs. So when I see a saying like that, it’s like a curse of reductiveness.
Well, curse of reductiveness in that worn, trite sayings are about all you have time to say and have remembered on a day when a lot is going on and things are crazy. Any advice given to me on that day bounced right off of my brain, and it was an uncle I admire that was the first to tell me that people will say “happy wife, happy life” to me, and to count how many times, but to know it’s also a valid advice. The situation forces the reductiveness. It is sort of interesting to me how it’s possible to say the same fairly specific words, and people come at it from varied perspectives to arrive at a truth in the phrase.