One thing you learn in your 20s is to stop caring so much what other people think and stop judging yourself according to other people’s standards. This has made me now in my mid 30s much more of a relaxed, calm and overall balanced person, able to prioritize what is important and shrug off what really, at the end of the day, is not all that important at all. This is just something that you learn as you grow as a person, as you hopefully acquire the skills to be a functional adult. Most of all you should not expect to have figured all of this out in your early 20s already. You are only just starting and you need to be patient and forgiving with yourself as you make mistakes.

Don’t listen too much to other peoples experiences. So many people have the 20s built up as the most important years of your life. Truth be told they can go either way. Mine were pretty boring and harsh but my 30s have been deeply satisfying in comparison.

20s being hyper significant is a psyop (I am half-joking). It can matter what you do early on, but main thing is make sure to look after your health to the extent that you can (like flossing your teeth and such) because habits that neglect your health will do damage over time even if it doesn’t seem like it matters as much when you’re younger. And the more embedded unhealthy coping mechanisms become, the harder it will be to change them when you’re busy and dealing with stressful adult shit.

The rest of it is more variable than people make it out to be. I know somebody who started law school in his twenties but couldn’t finish it then cause of the cost and finished it later in his forties (after lots of career stumbling about from here to there to make ends meet).

There are people who get married in their twenties and seem like they have their life together, but then get divorced later after kids in the picture make everything more complicated.

If you live under an individualist, capitalist state, expect some turbulence and understand that no matter what choices you make, there isn’t really such a thing as an ideal life (at least not under that hellscape of a system). You can “do everything right” and still have things go wrong. You can do lots wrong and still have things work out in the end. Just do something, so that when you’re looking back, you can say, hey, I did that stuff during my twenties. It doesn’t need to be super significant or conventionally standout. Just make sure you’re living rather than hiding away from life; I say that as someone diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. But even I still have stuff I did in my 20s that I can look back on as something, even if it wasn’t always meeting conventional milestones.

If I could do my 20s over again (and make intention reality - sometimes willpower part is hard), I’d probably get more exercise, eat less crappy food, have a regimented sleep schedule, and seize the means of production.

Early 20’s as several have pointed out, isn’t as significant for your life trajectory, but it’s a personal crucible for most people. There’s a lot of unknown unknowns, you get this independence without the finances or deference that people tend to give to older folks, and you don’t know your adult self. All the while there’s a panopticon of this idea that you’re supposed to have your shit together and be on top of this world being stuffed between your ears.

It’s fake though, all of it. The only people that appear to be on top of the world have PR teams that advertise their client like a commodity. There’s no super heroes, child genius prodigy, rags to riches billionaire, it’s all great man of history fairytales. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, because what we see of others is only what they allow us to see. Instead, compare yourself today to who you were yesterday, or last week, last year, 5 years ago, etc. You have grown, and you are growing more effective and competent at what you put yourself to. There was a time in your life where you couldn’t wipe your own ass or tie your own shoes. And every day you live you’re growing in ways you can’t yet see, but you will. Be gentle with the expectations you put on yourself.

Don’t drink heavily, use a condom, and don’t waste time with people that make you feel alone.

I’m almost twice your age and I can say the fact you re here and asking this means you are already ahead of where I was at that age. I didn’t understand shit about the world and certainly nothing involving communism. I have no idea what really to off as far as getting along with people. I was always very introverted and awkward, BUT what I will say is this: Take care of your body. Eat as best you can, get good sleep, and fucking exercise. There is no regret I have more in my life, then being so out of shape and I’ll riven at that age comrade. Take care of yourself before it’s too late to take care of yourself. And for the love of God if you work out be safe. Don’t do an extra set of reps because you are feeling good. Do what the plan says. Practice your form. Stretch well. Etc.

i think its important to find like-minded people / people you actually like spending time with

It’s pretty cool if you’re gaining independence for the first time. For me, the early 20s period was finally getting out from under my parents and learning to live on my own, cook stuff, all of that. “Onset of schizophrenia, personality disorders” sounds pretty suspect to me. Just hang out and have as good of a time as you can.

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So I don’t know your situation but I will say as someone who was 20 all of 5 years ago and who now works with 19-21yr olds, I don’t think your feelings are necessarily unique (as unfortunate as that might sound). This is often a time of transition for those of us who are privileged enough to have compulsory secondary education, either going into college, uni or work, which can be very daunting and nerve wracking.

Youth (people aged up to 30yrs) face a number of distinct struggles that are foisted upon them when they have hormonal imbalances, limited experience and lower brain development. Feeling alienated from others and distressed is not a unique response.

This is part of the reason why Communist Parties have Young Communist Leagues, which are (ideally) responsive to needs of their younger membership. I would consider joining one of those if you can/haven’t already. You might find that joining a YCL or a club with a similar purpose might help you “find your tribe”. This should not be seen as the limit of your social escapades and making and maintaining friendships with non-communist friends is important. Some of my oldest friends are anti-communist but the time I spend with them rejuvenates me because we do things and talk about things enjoy and they genuinely care for me.

Similarly important to your social wellbeing (vis-a-vis your mental health) is ensuring you are eating, exercising and sleeping properly. Considering that dialectical materialism argues that a material base determines an ideological superstructure, it is indeed communist to maintain your physical well being (as evidenced by the emphasis placed on this in the Soviet Union).

Make sure that as you are going throughout your day that you are taking note of how certain interactions and events make you feel and give yourself some time and an outlet in an attempt to release the stress that builds up. This can be journaling, poetry, meditation, talking to someone you trust, going to the gym, playing a sport, going for a walk, listening to calming music, volunteering, watching a funny video (fun with friends and family), playing a board/video game (fun with friends and family). A combination of any or all of these is recommended so long as they wok for you.

Some distressing events can still be affecting you even if they happened a long time ago, especially if you are idle (one of the curses of unemployment). I went through something distressing this summer and it still bothers me although this has lessened since I started to fill my schedule up with school, work and Party work.

Krupskaya, writing in 1932, proposed that a YCL must wage a struggle for knowledge, necessitating serious knowledge for socialism, the ability to apply this knowledge, an understanding of Marxism-Leninism and a capacity to work with the methods and in the spirit of Marxism-Leninism. This is a never ending process, as a comrade much more experienced than myself told me: one does not join a Communist Party a communist but rather to become a communist, a process that never truly ends. Thus your task at this moment, as I see it, is to learn more about the world while participating, as you can, in proletarian and youth institutions.

Be kind to yourself; even if it doesn’t seem that way, you are needed by me, by the others here, by your friends and family, and ultimately by the international working class.

Are you currently struggling, and want advice on how to get through it or are you currently facing anxiety about the possibility of struggling a lot?

In any case, it’s true that if you have any underlying mental conditions, they can get worse in your 20s because you get more responsibilities and become more independent. My early 20s was full of high highs and low lows. It started off amazingly because I had gotten more confident, had a lot more agency over my life and a large social network. However I had a few times where I crashed mentally because I had several mental conditions that I wasn’t very aware of, and my coping mechanisms were not sustainable. If I had been more aware of my mental state, and had learned to notice my own body signals for when I am not well, I could’ve probably avoided those crashes. Since you already seem to be pretty aware of your state of being, you have a head start on me and have the potential to already think about your potential pitfalls and work on ways to avoid them. The fact that you made this post is already a good sign as it shows you’re capable of asking help when you need it. What other actions can you take to work towards trust in yourself?

First off, don’t sweat it too much and be kind to yourself. Chances are that you will do a lot of stupid things that you will cringe at in 10 years. We were all clueless young adults who made all sort of stupid mistakes, it’s a normal part of the human experience and it doesn’t make you any lesser. Accept, learn and grow.

Secondly, realize you are not immortal. Your body has limits that will become more and more apparent as time passes. Be kind to it and don’t make your organs’ job much harder than it has to be, it will only come to bite you in the ass once you’re past your mid 20s and your fast regen gets disabled. I touch computers and I wish I took better care of my back, now I do physical therapy to fix the effects of my neglect

Related to that, dude weed/booze/hard drugs lmao isn’t a personality. I knew a lot of these types in my early 20s and you’ll probably run into them too. Every one of those things are perfectly fine in moderation but the negative consequences of abuse are absolutely real and you aren’t going to dodge them for too long. Be the boring party pooper who knows their limits and takes care of their body and you will thank yourself for it eventually. Practice harm reduction, educate yourself on anything you think about consuming, know the interactions, remember you can always take more but never less and just stay away from anything mind altering that’s not prescribed by a psychiatrist when you are in a rough spot with your mental health.

I think you mentioned before that you are neurodivergent. Find your people. Even a single person who understands how your brain is wired makes a huge difference. I have ADHD and it helps a lot to have one safe person I can vent to about ADHD things who won’t hit me with Have you tried WILLPOWER or say uninformed bullshit about the medication that greatly improved my life because DrUgS. People tend to carry a lot of unexamined ableism and it can get very exhausting when you have an invisble mental condition.

This was mentioned before but it’s extra important for anyone neurodivergent: learn to not give a shit about what people think and about socially enforced measures of success. It’s a skill you have to hone through practice but once you manage to stop the impulse to sacrifice your own mental health to please every asshole it’s extremely liberating.

I can say I’m an outlier and I’m much happier in my 20s vs my childhood. Not going to go into my situation, but what caused it is rare so I feel like I can’t give you any advice on that front.

I can however give very solid advice on how to recognize you might be developing a mental disorder during this time period.

Generally, it’s schizophrenia, schizotypical, and bipolar you have to look out for. They’re all very closely related (I’m surprised they aren’t recognized as a spectrum yet in the dsm tbh). Gaining these conditions suddenly isn’t really something that is typical of other mental illnesses. Outside of the three I mentioned, a lot of other data is really misleading as they are just most likely diagnosed in their 20s. For a ton of mental illnesses, you can’t even get diagnosed with it as a child. they typically put it under a more vague depression/anxiety as the features that make it easier to hone down into a specific diagnosis only appears later. But it was still the same condition, it’s not like schizo disorders where it appears seemingly outta nowhere. There is also late onset schizophrenia, which is a really new idea currently in papers that suggests schizophrenia can also be triggered in your 50s and 60s as well (however it has to be unrelated to dementia), so if true, it’s not like 20s and 30s are the only time you need to be somewhat concerned.

Schizo disorders are genetic. The first and most important thing for you to analyze is to focus on the mental health of your family. If you have multiple family members who have experienced delusional thinking and dramatic mood shifts, and ESPECIALLY a fear of doctors and treatment, it’s something you have to consider as potentially likely for yourself as well. If you don’t have people like this in your family, there’s not much to worry about. Someone in this thread recommends smoking weed, and Yeah I smoke a lot too. However if you recognize these patterns of behavior in your family, please seriously reconsider trying any hallucination (which Includes THC). Hallucinations, when you are genetically predisposed to schizo conditions, can trigger intense delusional thoughts that remain even after drug use. It is extremely devastating. We don’t know why. It’s not the fact that you hallucinate as there are some extremely novel hallucinations currently in research that currently appears to not cause a psychological break in predisposed individuals, which is amazing, but these aren’t available anywhere even on the street. But, like I said, if you don’t recognize these behaviors in your family, it doesn’t seem to be a concern as far as I’ve read up about it.

Thankfully, while these conditions SEEM to appear out of nowhere, they actually don’t. What happens first is a slow decline, months to a year before fully developing, but the symptoms you experience aren’t what you’d recognize as typical schizophrenia symptoms. You don’t hallucinate and you only start to slowly develop delusions at the tail end of it. so it’s why people think it just suddenly happens… The symptoms before full development are pretty much identical to depression at first. Brain fog develops. Thinking becomes harder. Sudden nosedive in academic or workplace performance is a huge sign as well. If these symptoms suddenly appear or worsen and you are predisposed, seek medical attention immediately…hopefully you’ll be able to. It can really save yourself. And even if it isn’t a schizo disorder and just depression, it’s honestly FAR better to treat it very early on vs years into depression. You shouldn’t just “deal with it” until you can’t bare it anymore and break down. That’s just cruel to yourself. You don’t have to reach of threshold of being “mentally ill enough” to get treatment.

So with all this in mind, you shouldn’t worry about this in particular too much.

(Glasses are off and im legally blind without them so sorry for typos or whatever lol)

just enjoy it and try new things and don’t worry so much about it

After seeing some of your posts and regularly following you; do you take any medications?

I’m not asking that to be a dick, I have a friend who is exactly like you and they were deeply struggling for a while. They got some care and ended up getting diagnosed with some shit and is on some meds now. I don’t know the details of his condition but he’s a lot more stable, less stressed/anxious, etc. I don’t mean anti-psychs either you could just need some good anti-anxieties.

Personally, I deal with my stress/anxiety with a lot of marijuana. I had to cut down, I was doing about 2-3g of high THC concentrate a day. Specifically, I am a big fan of growing the craziest marijuana I can; I experiment too both with pressing shit and growing it. I found out that weed plants like a bit of coca cola in their flowering stage; they go nuts for the sugar it seems. Kinda draws ants but I actually have been experimenting with that too! See, you can crop tiny bits of your buds and it will regrow a bit larger. I’ve noticed that the ants will tear down pieces of my plant and over time the plant will regrow whatever is lost; growing back even bigger. I’ve wondered now if I could have an army of ants tearing apart the buds right before flowering to split them off into more.

Point is, you gotta find something to sink yourself into. I’m a landscaper, groundskeeper and overall nature-loving kind of person. I like experimenting and playing with plants, food and herbs. Coming home from a big, shitty day and seeing my big green stinky (oh kermie) makes me incredibly happy and proud of my work. Nothing else matters.

I have never hated people more than I do now and I’m scaring myself sometimes.

Hate is a powerful motivator for me. Hate is what made me arm myself, train and learn some basic wound treatment skills. Hate is what makes me build ammunition that is nearly impossible to remove and requires extensive surgery; or the same kind that fragments into a treated epoxy that is nearly unable to be seen on x-ray. Hate is what makes me take advantage of many a show; seeing a Ukraine pin or some other bullshit where I can get a solid right-hook in out of the crowd and blend right in (great practice if ya know what im talking about). Hate is what drives you to make lists. You know what they say, how do you stop a jet-fighter as a Guerilla? You kill their wife.

A lot of people have the love for humanity, the love for the working class and the love for a lot of things that guide them. I lost a lot of that a long time ago. I have so much hatred in me because I have seen what capitalism has done to some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known. I’ve seen what it has done to my family and the things I love. I sure do have a lot hate. It’s because of love that I hate. Ironic isn’t it?

Use it for something, friend.

Who told you you have schizophrenia onset and personality disorders?

Yes to proper diet, rest, exercise, recreation.

You mentioned your mom griefing you. I’m wondering if that’s because of your MH conditions, caused your MH conditions, or some combination.

A really important piece of advice - take care of your health, both physical and mental. If you’re able to access decent food then eat healthily, do reasonable exercise. Fruit and veg is also good for mental health: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00487/full

As you get older any poor health decisions you made in your youth will come back to bite you.