Just get married in law. You don’t have to go through the whole wedding thing if you don’t want to.

It depends where you live and what local laws are but usually it’s called something like “civil partnership”, it’s legally the same thing as a marriage and grants your partner all the same rights as they would if you were married.

Never was interested, even though I have been married. It’s just a tax thing imo. The relationship doesn’t need it for anything.

I can only see three reasons to get married, and it’s all legal. Its to share finances, have a say in medical situations, and kids.

As far as I can tell, the only purpose for marriage in modern America is a prerequisite for divorce.

Gets down on one knee Megan, will you irreparably destroy my life eight years from now on average?

What I think about marriage is that is not that true or logical. As it is supposed to be a “forever” thing. But it’s obviously not, and it’s not logical that it is.

And making the whole ceremony about how two people are going to stay together forever feels weird knowing the statistics.

At least to me.

Anyone, you are not alone. Plenty of people feel no need to make that ceremony and just enjoy life with their SO for as long as it last, or even forever.

But no heat to those who want to marry. This is just my weird personal opinion.

I’m not even dating anyone. I never saw the appeal to it. I never saw the appeal to having children. I can’t even take care of myself sometimes, how can I be expected to take care of at least my hypothetical wife as well with success, let alone my hypothetical children? Marriage forces upon me additional responsibilities that I’m just not ready for, hence I don’t ever think of marriage.

Look I wanna wear a pretty dress with spiked shoulderpads

“Marriage” gives you benefits and rights just living together won’t.

This is why we got married.

If your GF has an accident and falls into a coma, you have zero say in her treatment, as you’re just a roommate as far as the hospital is concerned. You can’t even go see her. Her parents will most likely make all the decisions, do you trust them?

Inheritance is another, depending on the local laws, usually the spouse has different rules for inheriting than a roommate, even if you have a separate will in place.

In here for example the other spouse gets to live in whatever apartment or house they were in even if the other half goes to the children or whoever is next in line.

We got married in 2011, moderate sized wedding and reception. What a waste of money. If I’d do it again I’d get married at a registry and then take the family out for dinner. Result would be the same and I’d probably be $20k AUD richer. 🤷

Being married is fine and pretty chill. Weddings are stupid

My partner and I dated for nearly a decade before we decided to get married. It’s more important that you two are on the same page than it is for you to measure up to some arbitrary cultural norm. Even after a decade, we still laid some ground rules and made some agreements about HOW we would handle things in a worst case scenario. Prenup/postnup type stuff. People may view this as nonromantic, but I can’t think of anything less romantic than arguing about shit after the fact with someone you already broke up with.

Make sure you have your paperwork in order though. If you want your partner to be able to make decisions for you in an emergency or if you want them to inherit something if the worst happens, you should check because you likely have to explicitly set that up.

Depending where you are in the world you likely have the equivalent to marriage rights even though you aren’t actually married.

“if we’re happy together we stay, if we’re not we split.” Beautifully put. You and your girlfriend have been together for 5 years, which seems like a commitment in itself.

Personally I seem like marriage is an outdated practice, from a time where women were treated as property. It’s a legal contract, like you’d make with a business partner. Marriage isn’t even permanent (nor should it be). It just makes separation more expensive. Even if both participants want to split, and they agree on how to do it, now they need to get a judge to dissolve that contract.

And in the modern economy, many couples are choosing to forgo marriage, and put the money they save toward a shared house, which is a commitment in itself. People might argue that it’s necessary if you plan to have children, but most couples can’t afford that, some others don’t want that. And if children are a future goal for you and her, wouldn’t you have a commitment to that child? Plus, there are child support systems in place, whether the child was born in wedlock or not.

I could ramble on. The whole system of marriage only ever mattered because society said it should, and now that women aren’t forced to be a “side-piece”, and people don’t gasp at the idea of premarital sex, it’s just an expensive celebration. Marriage won’t make a relationship more stable. It will just make it harder for both people to leave.

I love being married. It gives my wife legal rights in my jurisdiction and it gives me legal rights in her jurisdiction should we decide to move.

Relationship going on 6 years. In the latter part of
my thirties, too. I am of the same mindset—marriage over complicates things. I just want to enjoy the ride.

I love being married, I met my wife 10 years ago and we got married 3 years later.

The wedding was just with our close family and homemade food, nothing expensive.

One big aspect of being married is that our relationship is not a question anymore. By being married we are committed to each other, it means we can make decisions accordingly.

For example I love the house we have, but without being married I don’t think we would have bought it. The house is a lot of work, will take years of renovation and is perfect for our family currently but would not be as good for either of us separately.

So if we were in the mindset that we could split up at any time we would have never bought this house.

I find marriage is actually freeing.