I really want to give up because no one seems to want to help me and I do not know what to do. I am terribly depressed and feeling more despondent by the day (the only time when I am not is when I am playing games).
Contact X organization? The waitlist is several months from now and they are full. Someone seems willing to help me? They end up going silent.
I am so tired and I doubt many people care about some random person on the internet.
Context: I live in central Florida, cannot drive, do not want to go back to college, have no friends that can help me near my area, and am not sure what to do. I only have a few thousand dollars for bus fares and I do not know where to go.
Additional context: I feel like I need to leave within the next few days because I can barely drag out my situation.
I bet this post will be mostly forgotten within a few days and people will just go on their way… I feel rotten.
i’m not sure what your material support situation is, but i would devote as much time as possible to improving your mental health. i’m sure this is extremely relevant to you and would directly impact your quality of life. there’s no shame in it, because levels of mental health struggles are as high as ever in the west and seem to be steadily increasing in quantity and severity. this certainly seems to be the case even when looking at how common such struggles are on this website.
i’ve said this elsewhere, but a lot of my recovery from mental illness has revolved around distinguishing between whether something is correct, or valid. when i’ve felt extremely depressed, the experience and all of the feelings and thoughts associated with it is totally valid (i.e. it is rational, likely a learned behavior that i learned for good reason, although not consciously). however, it is usually primarily incorrect: it tends to focus more on the negative than reality actually reflects, and it leads to worse outcomes for myself as well.
reflecting on the way you think and the reasons why you feel the way you do (all of them valid, some of them correct) is a very challenging process, but it’s something that i think is essentially required for actually recovering from mental illness. after all, how can you correct or even improve something if you’re not aware of what exactly happens and why? i think of this as historical materialism applied to the self, really. and, like most things, it’s the hardest when just starting out and continues to get easier and easier as you go.
wishing you the best, comrade.
What do you mean by material support situation? If you are referring to how much support I have in terms of resources currently available to me, then I do not have much (some savings and whatever rehousing resources were recommended online).
Also I kindaaaaa feel like I need to move out as soon as possible because I have stalled for long enough and I think my parents will stop allowing me to stay here without doing what they say.
that’s exactly what i mean by material support, yes: how much money, but also social support you have. i referenced this because it is much, much easier to work on your mental health while having some sort of material support.
i don’t know what kind of situation you have with your parents (what they would require you to do, or how negatively that would impact you), but i guess i would weigh doing their bidding specifically so that you can have the time and resources to improve your mental health (which will then allow you to more safely move out later, likely), vs leaving and not having that social support and needing to find it elsewhere or support yourself.
i only have limited experience with that kind of relationship with parents, but i understand that it is really tough. them holding material support (and really your very life) above your head so that you’ll do what they want you to do is stressful, toxic and damaging. again, wishing you the best.
Basically, I have nothing substantial that could support independent living, so moving out would be dangerous (though staying here would ruin my mental health).
They want me to apply for college courses or work at their place, and I do not want to do either (they also did quite horrible things in the past that make me not want to interact with them at all).
Is it unrealistic to consider moving to a place where sleeping outside is not illegal? And thanks for the wish.
i have absolutely no experience with that and so wouldn’t feel confident giving you any advice regarding it. however, with my limited knowledge it seems like becoming homeless would also be extremely challenging for your mental health, so it’s hard for me to give you any further suggestions. ultimately the person who knows what would be the best for you is probably you. hope you find whatever that road is.
I am the most indecisive person I know aaaah. Thanks for the advice though.
Do you have experience with working at a place you do not enjoy?
i’ve definitely had relatively positive work experiences over the course of my life so far, but even the best has issues or problems that need to be resolved for one way or another. obviously the severity of those issues and problems can vary, though. why do you ask?
Ah I was just wondering if I should work at my parents’ place or not (and while you likely worked in a different type of environment from my parents, your perspective is appreciated). I promise I am not THAT lazy, I just dislike my parents a lot due to them just not being good people.
I realize that what I do with my life is up to me, but it is difficult to really understand that due to how much issues are working against me.
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I am a bit curious as to what this comment originally said.
Young people with no material support who end up homeless often end up trafficked or self-trafficking. There’s no regular place to wash yourself or any clothing that doesn’t get stolen, and SA and other assault happens a lot.
I do not really have any good options at the moment, so I am not sure what to do.
I told you early on. It was unwelcome.
None of us who have been through it liked it, many of us would have used the empire’s tools to better advantage ourselves against the empire, had we the foresight. We didn’t, but we have hindsight. We don’t offer a bitter pill from hatred or wanting our comrades to fail. We offer it in hope you will surpass our shortcomings, and not that we may benefit from it, but that you may.
Oh, I appreciate what you said at the end, but I am unsure what you mean when you say “it was unwelcome” (being homeless?).
i care about you and unfortunately theres nothing i can do but i would if i could
Thank you for replying (I hope that I can come up with a solution in the future).
i feel like a lot of people are overwhelmed themselves and also dont know what to say
Probably, but I still feel a bit despondent because I am not sure what to do and stuff.
Hey, hope things get better soon. Take care of yourself and prioritise your happiness. If there are any things you liked doing before you fell into this phase, pick em up gradually and one by one. I’ve found that helps. Also visit local places you like more - and plus points if its a free public place. I’m here if you need help figuring more out!
It is a bit hard to do that when I feel like I have to move out soon while having no good options.
Your feeling of moving out could be a response to the stress you’re facing from being in your immediate environment as well. And nevertheless, always go for small things that are proven to work - like, some exercise, some cooking your favourite foods (it will help after moving out), some reflection, and a whole lot of time for yourself in general. Try not to go too long without a professional to help you, though.
Sorry. I wish there was something we could do to help. I know how annoying and useless it is when people offer unsolicited advice though. Can you sign on for benefits, perhaps you could get your rent paid somewhere?
If your parents are threatening to throw you out because you won’t live your life the way they choose, that sounds like coercive control and is a crime. If you reported it and were officially a victim of this crime there might be more resources available to you, even a homeless shelter to start with. And the homeless shelter can help you with applying for your own place.
I think I tried to fill out the benefits form but came across a section asking for information that I do not have (I need to check again to see what information I was missing). Also, get my rent paid elsewhere? I am not sure if I even have the money for that.
I doubt that the police would do anything if it were a crime to coerce me like that (I have had bad experiences with police not doing anything despite something likely being illegal), since I am a legal adult.
Thank you for replying to me and showing that people care a bit more than I thought.
Do you have something like the citizens advice bureau? In the UK they help you fill out the forms.
I mean you can maybe claim government benenfits to pay your rent.
I think? What do they do?
As far as I know, the general rule of thumb is that you need a salary 3x the amount that the rent costs, which means that benefits will likely not cover them.
In the UK citizens advice is a place you can go to for advice on basically anything, they can give you basic legal advice, help you fill in benefit forms, etc. You should google or ask around if you have anything like that.
Here’s a page about getting rent help:
I will try to look for rent help, but I do not think there is a similar thing like what you mentioned in America (at least not to the same extent).
