transcription: open letter to the lgbtq. dear lgbtq, you are the most inclusive community i know. it is an honor to hang with you. i think it is time to step up your game and add one more letter. s as in straight. -slgbtq supporter.

THE STRAIGHTS ARE AT IT AGAIN. putting the s at the front of lgbtq is by far the straightest straight person thing i have ever seen

  • derfaucet@beehaw.org
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    19 hours ago

    I always considered the plus at the end of LGBTQ+ to mean “and everyone else.”. Am I wrong?

    I’m a strait and have never felt out of place at an LGBTQ+ event.

    I have felt out of place at a couple of the gay bars my friends have taken me to… I didn’t feel rejected or anything and still enjoyed dancing the night away… I just wasn’t in search of anyone that was there. They were strictly G bars tho, not some pansexual playground like the LGBTQ+ places where I’ve had a blast and gotten lucky at the end of the night

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    It’s not difficult to recognize you’re queer. Very few people are 0 on the Kinsey scale. Almost everyone would count as bisexual, if they chose to recognize it and own it.

    But LGBT+ is about identity. It’s about having enough introspection regarding your own sexuality or your own gender disposition to recognize that this is an aspect of who you are. And because there are social forces that want to push us out of the community, that identity is also political.¹

    But straight is also an identity. Not all mlw folk are straight. Straight means identifying as someone who is strictly heterosexual, often to fit into a society that is uncomfortable with LGBT+ folk. It’s a specific assertion that you are not queer. It’s capitulation to pressure to conform.

    For much of my life, I identified as a man who is sexually attracted to women, but I also left room for the possibility that maybe I just haven’t found the right dude.² Not because I felt particularly bi-curious, but having been in a sex positive community, it just felt appropriate to leave that door open. Also having bi- friends and partners, there’s a common experience that people slide around on the Kinsey scale with age.

    For straights – people who actively identify as straight – that door is closed.

    And in this political clime, closing that door might be necessary; it might be unsafe for you to be anything but straight in your neighborhood without risking exposure to harassment and hate crime.

    It’s a liability to present as queer. We do so anyway (when we can, when there isn’t too much risk) as part of a movement to normalize sexual and gender diversity, and promote tolerance in our society. But straights are not taking that same risk.

    That all said, the LGBT+ community absolutely invites you to consider with honesty and sobriety what you are sexually attracted to, and how you like to express your gender. And if you find there’s something else there than church-approved cis-gender heterosexuality, explore that and adjust your identity accordingly. Our doors are always open.

    ¹ Note that LGBT+ isn’t always about behavior, and this can upset some people. For example, there is a subset of the wlw community who only wants gold star lesbians (women who’ve never been with men, ever) in their spaces. They’re a pretty isolated group. The British television series Bob & Rose by Russell T. Davies explores what happens when a gay man falls in love with a woman, and the upset (and antics) that can cause.

    ² I’d also eventually realize that I’m bi-romantic, which might (also) count as queer nowadays. When it comes to non-sexual love language, I tend to express it with people I’m close to regardless of their gender.

  • iuseasahibtw@ani.social
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    1 day ago

    That was a Godlike shitpost, in a newspaper no less. It’s like vintage shit posting but in modern times. Like when some art chud paints with actual paint and not a draw tablet.

    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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      1 day ago

      Shitpublishing has an air of superiority to it. Like it carries gravitas. Any idiot with Wi-Fi can shitpost, but you have to be an adult, with bank accounts and stuff to shitpublish.

  • NotAnOtter@lemmus.org
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    1 day ago

    Jokes aside, this would just mean “everyone that like some form of sexual activity” at that point. Like ignoring the political aspect, the term would just cease to have function.

      • NotAnOtter@lemmus.org
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        1 day ago

        The menacing horse meme but it’s a horde of 8 billion people menacingly fucking to spite the asexual community

      • NotAnOtter@lemmus.org
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        1 day ago

        The ‘+’ is not present in the meme.

        Queer sometimes includes ace people but typically not, which is why you normally see LGBTQA+ in modern contexts. The Q and A being different groups of people. I’m not making a political statement about A != Q just a linguistic argument about how I typically see the terms used.

      • NotAnOtter@lemmus.org
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        1 day ago

        But the version in the meme does not have a “+”

        I adjusted my comment because of that exact thought.

        FWIW I find using ‘the straights’ as a pejorative like that distasteful. Like when one gay person does something antisocial and people attribute that action to the “the gays”.

  • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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    1 day ago

    I think it’s ok for straights to be allied and get a bit of recognizement for deconstructing the toxic heterosexuality that has been built from centuries ago, but this… Is just cringe, when a group gets too broad then it doesn’t represent anything and anyone. These people should just create their own collective of LGBTQ allies.

  • Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    SLG is a good acronym for the trans exclusionary ppl tho

    (bisexuals you know we’re on the “not real queers” chopping block, probably after enbies)

    • Axolotl.cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      I find funny (and sad) when some LGBT people exclude other queers because “they ain’t the real deal”, it’s exactly what straight and cis people mostly did for a long time and they suffered for it, yet, they act the same. I can try to understand why they do not understand other genders since it’s a actually kind of a more complex matter but sexuality is the easiest matter of all, it’s not that much different from liking a type of choccolate vs another or liking them all. :/

      • Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        I think 90% of it is aging. If you just accept falling behind the bleeding edge of counter-culture and that even though you don’t understand something it can still be a net positive for some people and society at large, then most of the “We weren’t like that!” goes away.

        I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me, and it’ll happen to you, too!

        Xenogenders were the first thing like that for me. I don’t think I’ll ever get it but they seem to enjoy it so what do I know (also I respect the drip, the frog hats and all it looks sick. haven’t seen any in a while, hope the frogkins are still going strong).

        • Grail@multiverse.soulism.net
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          22 hours ago

          Imagine that men are hot chocolate and women are coffee. And those are the only two drinks that exist.

          You might think nonbinary people are mocha. And that’s true. Androgynous people are mocha, agender people are water, and demigender people are milk. Xenogenders are juice, and soda, and beer.

              • Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone
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                17 hours ago

                Ye Im aware of the definition, just don’t understand how and why would you tie your identity to a thing or an animal. Never felt anything close to it so I can’t relate, that’s pretty much the crux of it.

                • Grail@multiverse.soulism.net
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                  16 hours ago

                  Imagine being transported to a parallel universe where men, maleness, and penises never existed. Imagine trying to explain masculinity in that world.

                  You might say manhood is about strength and protection. Camaraderie, violence. Action, and support for those close to you. You might say a man is like a shield. You might make up the word shieldgender, if you were trying to explain being a man. As a metaphor.

                  It’s not a metaphor for all xenogender people, but for some it is. It’s about creating a new cultural myth of a type of person.

        • FerretyFever0@fedia.io
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          1 day ago

          There’s a lot of stuff that I don’t get, I just happen to not care about what people identify as. I don’t have to understand to support the other people in the community, and I think that’s what matters. I think that older people could also do this pretty easily.

        • Zarobi@aussie.zone
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          21 hours ago

          I’m NB. I just want to be myself. It feels like if I choose either M or F, then there’s weird expectations and demands placed upon me. I’m not allowed to be myself anymore; half of me is restricted and prohibited.

          Imagine you’re ambidextrous, but everyone tells you to “pick a side”; you’re not allowed to use whichever hand willy-nilly. You were born with a slightly stronger right hand and generally preferred it; but you’re strangely unhappy, and choose left instead.

          Now you’re never allowed to use your right hand. You’re strangely unhappy again, but in a different way. The clothing you wear has to make it easy for people to identify which hand you’re choosing to present as. If anyone catches you wearing confusing clothing, using a mismatching hand, or (God forbid) both hands; you get weird comments about it.

          I have two perfectly good hands here; I want to use either, or both, of them whenever I feel like. I don’t understand why people make it a big deal.

          • Maxxie@piefed.blahaj.zone
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            17 hours ago

            Hey you don’t have to explain the nonbinariness to me (I am they). Even tho most of us have our own definitions, saying fu to binary choice is the one thing we can all agree on.

  • alapakala@quokk.au
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    2 days ago

    Heteros that care have a little “a’ after the “+” for ally.
    too bad we can read bigotry.

    • Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      Idk I’m still mad about all the “Allies” that have tried to take the A away from Ace people. Hell, I’ve had a concerning number of queer people try to tell me that I didn’t count as queer because “Non-binary isn’t Real” and Asexual isn’t part of LGBTQIA+ because the A stands for “Ally”

      • alapakala@quokk.au
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        2 days ago

        It’s like this: LGBTQIA+ a

        I’ve had a concerning number of queer people try to tell me that I didn’t count as queer because “Non-binary isn’t Real”

        yikes😬, I hope you’re able to emigrate from them. Us siblings have to stick together🤝🫂.

          • alapakala@quokk.au
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            2 days ago

            fyi, I edited this comment like 7×, I had misread Macchi_the_Slime’s concern like 3×. My 🧠 was in inclusion mode, not “friendo, there’s bigotry even among queer spaces.”
            All enbies are valid✊🏿

            and yes, I comprehended your linguistic snide, which is my I reacted w/“😭”

            lemmy doesn’t receive pylova reacts.

            • SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              2 days ago

              I edited this comment like 7x

              See that, now my comment no longer makes sense.

              In general, though, I think labels like “queer” or “gender and sexual minorities” are better than trying to list a bunch of identities because you both make the acronym way too long to be useful and also you’re bound to leave someone out no matter how long the list is.

              • alapakala@quokk.au
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                1 day ago

                it depends the scenario, zeitgeist, & language.

                Macchi & I are enbies. We are also polyglots. English itself borrowed a lot of lavender words from European languages, so we can include ourselves when speaking in queer spaces. Macchi, my wife, and I (3 different people) have experienced enby rejection & exclusion from queer spaces, physical & online.

                Now when talking to receptive cisfolk, and a generalization is required, I can see the utility of saying “genderless.” But when we want to be included, say during socialization, just add us in to solidarity with us. We are supposed to be inclusionary, not separatists. Statists usually use “sexual minorities” derogatorily, not inclusive at all. So I’d be careful when and how I am excluded when referred as a minority.

                • SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  1 day ago

                  I’m so confused. Clearly you’re having another conversation that i’m missing context for. 😅

                  I’m sorry that you’ve been excluded from queer spaces and I feel fortunate that I haven’t experienced that myself (perhaps that’s due to me rarely interacting with cis people other than at work - all the queer spaces i’m in are made by and for trans and nonbinary folks). I hope you have a great day!

      • ramble81@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        Serious question (trying not to troll here). At what point is the acronym too big? And, even accidentally, dropping any letter earns you the ire of that group. Is there more inclusive term that covers the spectrum of “I support everything, as long as you wash your hands”?

        • mad_lentil@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          Well they missed 2S above so basically dead to me.

          But to seriously answer your question, if it’s too long you can just say queer.

          It’s a best effort every time and highly contextual besides. So more explicitly inclusive is better, but if someone says ^LGBT$ full stop and they’re not obviously being a TERF or signalling excluding folx in other ways then it’s just whatever.