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That’s one way to form class solidarity
Well, if they only do random drug tests, they will only fire whoever is the poor fellow who draws the short stick. What an asshole move.
Is it legal to take drug tests on employees??
I thought it was a movie thing…
My employer cold calls people. If you are contacted, you have 2 hours to report to the “wellness center” (on site) to take your drug test. If they cant get a hold of you, they call your boss. Then its their responsibility to track you down.
If youre a remote employee, there are labs all over the country that are approved facilities for you to go to and take the test.
We do random drug tests every quarter. And being selected doesnt exclude you from future testing. You could, in theory, be tested 4 times a year.
I personally havent been pulled in about 8 years, but the guy sitting next to be got it last week.
In the US you are basically told that you either do the drug test or you are fired. So technically you “consent” to it.
Not drugs, but at my workplace (in EU) breath alcohol tests were common. Well, sort of. The managers were supposed to walk around with breathalyzers and test x random employees. But that would be inconvenient, so it got reduced to signing a form.
“Are you drunk?”
“No.”
“Can you sign this form stating I tested you?”
“Yes.”
“OK, thanks.”Anyway, I guess drug tests are more involved. How are they done?
Different types. Sometimes its a spit test. You spit into a tube and it gets sent off to be tested. Sometimes you pee in a cup. Theres a lot of paperwork and you certainly aren’t just gonna say you did it and not do it.
In my industry they are only performed if you are involved in an incident where drug or alcohol use is suspected. The involved employees are sent to a medical testing facility for urine screening.
Just like how you give cops “consent” otherwise they will manufacture it.
As with anything that happens in the States, it depends. I’m sure different states have different laws regarding testing, but what I’m most aware of is that some employers do pre-employment testing, and others will test after events.
I work in Illinois where weed is legal, so they’re less testing for that and more for other substances. I work for a hospital, they probably want to know if a new nurse hire is positive for unprescribed opioids. Likewise, if a forklift driver runs into something causing damage, they’re going to get tested as well.
Jokes are serious business. My grandma took one marijuana once and she died. OP are you trying to kill my grandma?
Miisha the Grandma Killer reporting for duty! /s
All seriousness, good way to go to jail for years…
When the doctor gives you 3 months, but the judge gives you 15 years.
Grandmas are statistically public safety hazards and a burden to not for profit healthcare systems 😂
Probably best we don’t let the machines make the kill grandma decisions
Grandmas be droppin like my fire ass tracks up in here.
Grandmas be droppin like my fire ass tracks up in here.
I’m guessing you’re talking about music tracks, but that’s not how my brain read it, and so now, this is my moment of zen.
Taking a photo of a bottle of bleach next to an empty bottle of liquid sugar and giving it the caption “we ran out of liquid sugar, but what the customer doesn’t know won’t hurt them” and then putting my phone in my pants and waiting for the notifications to arrive from people helpfully informing me that “that’s not funny at all, that kills people!”
Caaarl, that kills people!
Wait…liquid sugar? That’s a thing? Since when?? 😭
It is usually called “simple syrup”
Coffee places use it pretty often. It mixes into the coffee better (considering it too is a liquid), but some people don’t like the way it feels on their tongue, or the slightly different taste. You can usually ask for granulated sugar though.
It’s essentially filtered syrup and widely used in gastronomy, e.g. for cocktails.
It’s not filtered syrup, you take sugar and water, and then you reduce it on the stove a bit. It is called simple syrup if that’s what you meant
So glazing with extra steps?
Yes.
Need that in my life! Moar sugar :3
It’s super easy to make, it’s called simple syrup and it goes great with whiskey and lemon juice
I don’t really think drugging people without their consent is funny
What if you’re drugging a clown?
why is this the funniest thing in this thread
If you put poppy seeds in it then it’s safe and the poppy often gives a false positive on drug tests.
It’s not. This is a dumb joke. Sorry if I offended you
Offence is taken, not given.
I’ve seen this one several times through the years and every time it reminds me of when some bros decided it would be funny to get “the weird kid” high. He was freaking out until someone did the kindness to tell him what was going on and stay with him, then he was just really uncomfortable until it wore off enough so he could sleep it off.
I guess it traditionally gets a pass on the grounds that it’s “questionable behavior of people when they’re high,” not “helpful advice.”
With adult co-workers you’d hope they would at least pull a “OMG guys! My sister just called me and said I brought the wrong batch of brownies, those were the pot ones for her book group!” so everyone would at least know they were high, not having a stroke or psychotic break or something. And maybe quietly keep the weird kid from taking one.
Side note: keep drugs, especially edibles, locked up away from pets. I’ve seen a couple very miserable dogs who were high as a kite for days from getting into someone’s stash.
It is also a hardcore felony.
Just once I want to do a scrum meeting where everyone is baked as hell.
Really? I’d like to do one where everyone wasn’t and trying to cover it up!
Oh hell yeah!
Filing an impediment because the cafeteria is out of microwave burritos.
That’ll come up at the next retrospective for sure.
I want to address the Jira ticket titled “Dude the thing keeps doing the thing man”
I would do this but with an extremely low dose, so no one would notice
That’s actually pretty smart - the lab would probably invalidate the entire suite of test because the results are statistically very unlikely.
Not smart when you go to prison for poisoning food
(I don’t make the laws)
So this person, put drugs into brownies, very likely didn’t tell anyone about that, and that because of a drug test.
Yeah I don’t think a company should make drug test except if your job can kill someone if you are impaired, but fuck that particular piece of shit.
The internet used to be a fun place where we made jokes and didn’t take everything so seriously.
Yes, don’t worry, this totally happened, y’know? /s
Sorry for being snarky, but come on. Yes, this is a shitty thing to do (also illegal). No, this didn’t actually happen. It’s a dumb Twitter meme.You would think that this never happened, and whoever posted this probably didn’t do it. But there is no end to human stupidity and malice, so someone did do this shit. And I for one don’t want to even laugh about it because thats how we got fascist and nazis back again laughing at jokes which progressively normalized it.
Also don’t be sorry for being snarky, that’s just you being you^^
Could have very well come from people lecturing about how joking about random things is what gives rise to fascism, leading to some to want to rebel against you.
It’s like a good portion of the left follows a playbook that is the opposite of How to Win Friends and Influence People. Like How to Put Off Potential Allies and Alienate Strangers, though I acknowledge that this comment itself is more from the second than the first one.
But there is no end to human stupidity and malice…
True…and you don’t have to laugh about anything ofc. I just…don’t know how we got from a really stupid weed brownie joke to fascists and nazis. And tbh, I don’t want to continue this conversation anymore. Have a nice day ❤️
My partners family lives in the US and apparently employers can drug test for any stupid job. And they dont need a reason.
people should probably be observant enough to notice the person that is giving brownies is high and ask if they are normal or doped
Isn’t this a plot point in Workaholics?
Fur sure
