In my long career I have dated on both ends of the very attractive and very intelligent spectrum, and I’ve learned that I simply cannot be in a relationship with an idiot for long, no matter how hot they are. At one point I thought hot and dumb and obsequious was the right combo, but it turns out I am not psychologically cut out to be worshipped. When you spit on me I need to carry some real disdain for my sophomoric understanding of Proust, and not just because I asked you to.