I see this on Imgur and Bluesky as well. Here’s a great example, and the one that prompted me to finally ask. My daughter has autism and ADHD. She takes speed to slow down. Best friend is ADHD, same deal. But they’re basically “normal” people. I’m truly sorry is this comes off as insensitive.
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It’s normal to be aware of how people perceive us. We are apes. Need I elaborate?
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We ALL mess up more when someone is watching. Forget the word, but it’s a well-known psychological tic.
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Yes, we all conform and hide parts of ourselves in public, doesn’t mean you can’t “be yourself”. Want to see someone who doesn’t mask at all? Trump.
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If you’re not aware of threats, Darwin would like a word. And yes, many things we perceive as threats are dumb monkey perceptions. We’re all silly in this way.
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Uh, I double check my door locks. Not paranoid, but my situation in America makes that a simple, smart move. Some people live around lots of strangers, checking your private space is a normal thing.
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We all hate being stared at. That’s a monkey threat. We evolved that way.
The “suspicious sounds” thing is the only part I’d pick out as a bit strange. But who hasn’t jumped when the ice maker kicks in? I’ve often thought someone crawled in the dog door. (A bear did one time, a hybrid wolf another, so let me slide on that one.)
I can go on /c/autism and pick 100 other memes for examples. Almost every single thing I see there, “Yeah, we all go though that/feel that way/do that thing.” Here’s one:
https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/6k/Lb/6kLbDigyQuftk4k.jpg
Doesn’t everyone do that now and again?! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
Serious questions:
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Does lemmy have an above normal number of autistic/ADHD people?
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Is this perception a way for young people to feel special and different?
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Maybe young people don’t realize just how fucking weird growing up is and think they have a problem?
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Do people not realize that even after adulthood, we all have weird foibles?
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Are people so socially isolated that they think their weird thoughts are uncommon?
Just want to start the discussion. Help me understand.
Without commenting on any specific meme (if for no other reason than that imgur is booked the UK and i can’t see the image) and without meaning to disparage OP in any way, because i believe they are asking an honest question, i think that sometimes it’s a question of framing. I think of it like this:
Say you’ve broken your leg and it’s painful for you to hobble around on crutches. You get to work and find that the lift (elevator for the yanks) is out of order. You work on the 20th floor and have no choice but to take the stairs. You talk about how unpleasant this is going to be for you, and a colleague says “yes, everybody hates taking the stairs”. Maybe they do, but it’s not the same thing.
Which again isn’t to suggest that everybody posting memes about neurodivergence is talking about real traits, just that the idea that “everybody runs out of social battery sometimes and therefore everybody is on the spectrum somewhere” isn’t really accurate. It can be the difference between deciding to skip a party because you’d rather curl up with a book and spending 4 months not exchanging a single word with another human being. Or the difference between having a favourite film which you say you’re “obsessed” with and spending 9 days straight watching it on repeat while only sleeping 4 hours a night because the other 20 are you watching the film.
A decade or two ago people used to say “everybody’s a little bit OCD”. That seems to have fallen out of fashion now. I’m reminded of the meme which goes something like one person saying “I’m a bit OCD, i arrange my books by colour”, and the second person saying “cool. I think that if I don’t flip the light switch 40 times all my family will die”.
It’s almost like the whole thing is a spectrum, where people that have it feel the same emotions as neurotypical people, but they feel them more intensely.
There’s also something to be said for admitting 5hat if your child is neurodivergent then you as a parent are probably neurodivergent
Typically the difference is that people with autism and or ADHD experience things more frequently or more intensely than others.
Yes, all these things are normal for most folks, but how often and the severity of these symptoms are diffrent.
For example, I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms of that is I’m easily distracted. For most people, this would sound fairly normal, but even when its something important, or something I want to do, my brain is moving on to a billion other things all at once rather than focusing on the task at hand. Medication helps immensely with this, but it still happens even on my meds at times. That is not normal.
Also the autism spectrum is a spectrum for a reason. Some people appear to cope better than others and some can’t cope at all. Masking is normal but for someone with autism it can be exhausting because some people with autism never stop masking. They are constantly aware they aren’t “normal” and it stresses them out.
Its hard to understand these kinds of feelings if you’re Neurotypical. Our brains work differently from others, which might sound like “I’m special” but honestly, I’d rather not have ADHD. Shit sucks dude. I fucking hate not being able to do things like a normal person. Its a curse.
People ive met with ADHD or autism, its just nice to be seen and feel like were understood which is why these memes are often posted or are popular with those crowds.
Dude with autism chiming in here. I often compare it to being “born without a user manual”. Ever since I was a kid it was like everyone around me just knew what to do without being told while I had to have even the most basic things explained to me. This is far worse in social situations because sometimes there are feelings on the line and often people just don’t think enough about social cues to properly explain them.
I’m the kind of autistic that can pass as neurotypical with relative ease, but getting there was a real trial and error kind of process and I can’t really say it was great for my mental health. The comment I’m responding to talked about how you never stop masking and how your constantly aware your not normal. That’s what’s fucked me up historically. “You’re not normal so figure out how to at least pretend” was the bat I used to beat myself with and among neurodivergent folks that’s probably depressingly common.
Sometimes when I talk to folks about this they’ll say something along the lines of “well if masking takes so much effort just stop doing it, I don’t mind”. And man do I wish I could sometimes. But when you learn how to do that basically from the start “masking”, or at least some of the tools and behaviors associated with it, become fundamental to how you interact with the world. This isn’t just something we can turn off or on like a lightswitch. This is something that we’re constantly locked into. Sometimes it feels like just existing takes effort. And when that’s your baseline? There’s just not space for a lot else.
Like Bluefruit said, it’s a matter of degrees. You can be neurotypical and feel this way sometimes too. At it’s core, none of these feelings are special or inherently neurodivergent. It’s the degree to which we feel them that’s different. That and frequency. Everyone’s had to preform for a job interview or something. But having to preform constantly, even for loved ones? It can get to be pretty rough.
Everybody pees once in a while but if you do it 20 times a day something might be wrong. Every ADHD/‘tism/bipolar trait is experienced by neurotypical people, but not to the degree someone with an actual diagnosis do.
I am not so sure that’s actually true for all traits. Certainly I don’t think most people have any kind of eye contact aversion. Likewise many people very much do not have alexithymia.
You might be right, what I wrote is what I usually say to the people who dismiss any neurospicy person because “EvErYbOdY dOeS tHaT”
Yeah fair enough. It is one of the often repeated things. There are some things it just doesn’t really apply to.
I don’t agree. In wild animals, eye contact is often a bad thing because it can be viewed as a challenge. Similarly, “staring down” someone is very much a bad thing. Similarly, when someone is embarassed or ashamed/etc, they’re much less likely to make eye contact. There are many natural moments when “normal” people don’t like eye contact or don’t feel like making it.
Similarly, I think most people grossly underestimate their emotional acuity. Just look at how many people fall into the, “I’m an empath” meme, or at how many people don’t actually understand consent. OFC someone that doesn’t like to watch peoples’ faces would be a bit slower to pick up on cues than normal, but ‘normal’ isn’t exactly a perfect record!
(yes I know for many autistic people it goes beyond simply being slow to pick up on things, but hopefully I’ve still illustrated my point about it genuinely being a spectrum that does indeed touch ‘normal’, and that ‘normal’ is its own spectrum.)
It’s normal to pee. It’s not normal to pee 200 times a day.
Apply that to any ADHD symptom and you’ll understand.
Girls used to be 16x less likely than boys to be diagnosed, now only 3x less likely, because traditional ADHD criteria excluded girls and women from their studies. Girls are sociallized differently and thus present different symptoms. Girls are also more heavily penalized for typical ADHD symptoms and are forced to learn to mask better.
A lot of the backlash against women speaking about their ADHD symptoms on social media is due to misogyny and gatekeeping. When women present their experiences, it’s often seen as attention seeking behavior and not treated as an account of how the medical system has once again failed women.
Please do not call ADHD medication “speed”. It is chemically different from what you would find on the street. (Methylphenadate != Methamphetamine)
Associating doctor-perscribed medication with illegal drugs perpetuates a stigma which creates many problems for people struggling with ADHD.
Adderall is made from amphetamine salts. It literally is a form of speed. Note that the term speed is used to refer to both amphetamine and methamphetamine. You are thinking of ritalin which is indeed different. All of these including methylphenidate are classified/scheduled substances in the US and UK. So very much are illegal if you don’t have a prescription.
Stop spreading misinformation. You can destigmatize ADHD and ADHD medications without spreading falsehoods. Probably destigmatizing amphetamine which isn’t really that dangerous to begin with would help.
Please refrain from mischaracterizing my comment. I clearly state that I am talking about Methylphenadate, as found in Concerta and Ritalin, and highlighting its distinction from the street drug Methamphetamine. There are many different medications that are prescribed to treat ADHD including some that are classically known as antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and antipsychotics.
I did not claim they were not controlled substances, but I insist that any medication prescribed by a doctor should not be referred to by a street shorthand. This increases the likelyhood of abuse and benefits no one.
So you do clearly state that you’re talking about methylphenidate, but also, the way you said ‘please do not call ADHD medication “speed”’ and then elaborated that methylphenidate != methamphetamine sorta implies you think all ADHD medication is methylphenidate.
I do just call Elvanse “amphetamine” when talking to my friends about my meds (Elvanse, so it’s actually lisdexamfetamine). I find that it actually destigmatizes these medications when you can have a laugh about things like saying “oh I’m gonna take my legal amphetamine now”.
I will admit that most of my experience is with methylphenidate because that is what I am prescribed. I am not familiar with amphetamines. The original post did not specify which type of medication it was (they just said “speed”), so I felt it was a generalized term.
You said ADHD medication. Adderall is a popular type of ADHD medication. Doctor approved or not does not change what it physically is, and I know of people with ADHD who refer to it as speed. You are white knighting over something while ignoring both the actual neurodivergent community and the physical reality just so you can feel correct and morally superior. As an actual neurodivergent person I take issue with your attitude and willingness to spread misleading information.
I also know there are people who abuse Adderall either through diversion or by abusing legitimately prescribed medication for their legitimately diagnosed ADHD. On the other side are people who self-medicate with street drugs as that can be easier and cheaper than doing it the societally approved way. Nothing is as simple as you are making out.
Alright now you can fuck all the way off. I’ve been diagnosed and treated for more than half of my life. I’ve dealt with family members, employers, even DOCTORS who dismiss my disability because they see ADHD afflicted people as nothing more than “pill poppers who can’t function without their SPEED”. I’ve had to buy a safe to secure my meds to prevent them from being stolen by my roommate’s guests who think they’re just an easy way to study for their exams. I’ve had to get drug tested by my doctor every 6 months just to continue qualifying for my perscription. So FORGIVE ME for having a PERSONAL ISSUE with how MY MEDICATION IS CHARACTERIZED.
If you have ADHD and can get away with calling your medication “speed” or “meth”, fine. How fortunate for you that your access to your medication is so secure and consistent that you can joke about it.
There are ways to talk about these things without needing to mislead people. Frankly I don’t think that denying that some ADHD medications are indeed amphetamines or even methamphetamine (see desoxyn) is going to help in the long run. If anything lying about it is just going to make people trust you less. I didn’t think anyone was even calling methylphenidate speed anyway.
Oh and for the record I have never had the privilege of being medicated as when I was being diagnosed you couldn’t officially have both Autism and ADHD, and in my case one apparently took priority over the other. So if I want to even explore that I would have to go back to a doctor and be re-evaluated even though it says right on my psych report form when I was 4 suspected ADHD. Go figure.
I don’t care. Just don’t call it speed.
Didn’t you know?
On Lemmy, everyone is a trans-feminine lesbian autist communist.
/joke
But seriously, doctors appointments are scary and time consuming and like half of Lemmy are Americans without healthcare.
On Lemmy, everyone is a trans-feminine lesbian autist communist.
Not everyone yet, but we’re working on it.
Edit: a very good starter would be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1AUdaH-EPM
You have a scale of 0 to 100%. Mine is like 200 to 4000%. There is a lot of literature and research on autism. We work differently and the way your post starts made me feel very attacked. And suddenly completely out of energy, although I love informing about it.
I guess that’s because exactly that is our daily struggle. To all the damaging things we experience add on top that we’re accused of faking and also ‘that’s how it’s for everyone’.
If you want to get into it but not start reading books I can recommend the book ‘invisible differences’ very much. There’s a pdf on the internet floating around.
I know you wanted to ask innocently, however keep in mind asking about something and implicating something is not really a thing to people suffering massively exactly for that reason can be very hurtful.
There’s degrees to these things. At a certain point they’re severe enough to be considered a problem beyond just “normal human foibles”. I for instance don’t like being outside at home because the HOA I live in doesn’t allow privacy fences and your neighbors for 8 houses in either direction can see into each others back yards. It stresses me out to the point that I avoid it as much as possible and probably makes everyone else think of me as a weirdo (which also stresses me out). Whether that problem falls under autism or ADHD I’m not qualified to say but it’s not normal behavior.
This. Everyone experiences these feelings at some point, but when they start having an outsized impact on your life, there might be a cause such as Autism/ADHD.
They’re “normal human foibles” because it’s perfectly fucking normal and human to have ASD qualities.
I feel like online spaces like lemmy over represent some behaviors.
Agreed. We congregate on platforms like this because we’re too weird for the normies in the real world.
- Reduced stigma led to more diagnosis and less hiding
- decreased socialization and internet escapism increased the percentage of the population exhibiting these symptoms and aided in self diagnosis
- people like to make groups to simplify their world and feel a sense of belonging, see: astrology, personality quizzes, omegaverse, sports
Its a big complicated mess with no clear answer. We all do exhibit these feelings to a certain extent, the magnitude and ceiling for our ability to cope and adapt to them however feeds our definitions, yet everyone can look at this and feel a little but of ourselves.
It’s a pretty common thing nowadays to self-diagnose. Some understandably want an answer to why they are how they are, while others want to feel like they’re original and unique.
However, getting an actual diagnosis from a licensed psychiatrist is paramount to understanding and managing one’s behavior, emotional state, and well being. Self-diagnosis is dangerous to these same things.
Being autistic isn’t cute. It’s not silly and quirky. For many, it’s hell. And having ADHD doesn’t excuse poor decisions and bad behavior like a lot of people seem to assume it does.
Having said this- many people who self-diagnose try to see normal human behavior as being neurodivergent behavior when it’s not. Anyone who knows better would have learned this back with the basics when they were diagnosed by a professional.
I’m living with undiagnosed Adhd for all of my life. My son got a diagnosis when he was 6 or 7 - thus I know the symptoms, and frankly I know too much of the diagnosis method now to get myself an honest diagnosis. (I know how to answer to get the results I want). And I don’t need it anymore, I adjusted my life to play more into my strengths and less into my weaknesses. (And the last 10 years - in my 50s - I feel like symptoms are getting milder)
The complicated thing is: Every single symptom of adhd is being experienced by the majority of normal people. It’s just being “more” of that statistically.
It feels like setting the difficulty level on a video game, you’ll see the same things, you’ll see the same bosses. You play on hard while the guy how got to play life in story mode tells you how lazy you are because you didn’t fight all the bosses, yet.
A big part of dealing with adhd is accepting that my challenge is mine and is different from yours.
And that probably is why “being neurodivergent” is so “attractive”. It gives us the freedom of not being seen as lazy or stupid, and that’s something that I think should really apply to every single fucking human on this world.
We all have our challenges. You are OK as you are. You are worthy of love. And yes, life is hard, you’re not lazy.
If seeing people like this were the norm, “neurotypical” people wouldn’t need to see themselves as divergent. People just use “adhd” or “autism” to say “look, I have my challenges, too”.
Are the images AI upscaled or purely AI-generated?
Well, given that the OP found them somewhere, I don’t think he has an exact answer to your question lol
And who TF cares? Just bully op like a normal person, stop letting AI live rent free in your head.
People have stopped socializing, at least not in a real, meaningful way. Discord groups of other shut-ins feeding off each other’s insecurity doesn’t count.
The lack of socialization means a lack of social validation so to feel any value at all, we all have to figure out how to carve out new identities in a much more lonely and dark world. Self-diagnosis of conditions and syndromes can give you insulation from criticism and give you a sense of community and belonging, so less effort is placed on managing or treating the condition and more effort is placed on affirming and defending your condition.
I’m not saying the conditions aren’t real, they exist on a large spectrum that almost everyone falls on to some degree, but what’s changed is the view of the conditions or syndromes as an obstacle to life that needs to be managed or beat. Instead it’s a badge of identity that people work to justify and preserve, often without realizing it.
I’ve been in and out of the mental health system for years, I’ve done it to beat depression, PTSD and anxiety and have made great strides by accepting the hard truths of the things I need to do to make it easier to live with problems outside my control. But these are tools I embraced because I wanted to go outside, meet people, be more social and have more opportunities.
Not a lot of young people want any of that, they’ve been disillusioned by the promise of the future because the internet just feeds them the bleakest picture of the world that it can, and people don’t generally seek out balancing perspectives on their own, and even resist any attempt to tell them that there’s a lot of important reasons you might want to stretch your mental and social muscles.
Nearly everyone I talk to under the age of 25 or so says they can’t imagine living past 40, with many saying that they actively have plans to not live past 40, which blows my goddamn mind.
Every single one of you whiny, nihilistic shits out there is going to hit age 40 and say “Oh fuck, what have I done with my life?”
I just cant imagine that at 40 all my favorite video games/systems are going to be 40-50 years old as well and new games will be made by Barron and the Saudis xD
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my decades of forward time-travel, it’s that the future is consistent about only one thing: that there’s more of everything.
Our future is going to have great hardships and weird politics and disasters and suffering, but it will also have more wonders, miracles and everyday concepts that would seem utterly alien to us presently. People in many places will die of easily preventable diseases because of income inequality, that’s a norm. But those easily-preventable or treatable diseases will be things like cancer or heart disease.
You will have a an ocean of cheaply made “AAA” game titles being pushed out by the EA/Trump/Saudi conglomerate, sure. But you will also have totally new experiences being experimented with as AI matures and creates new ways to generate worlds on the fly, things like video cards will slowly start becoming obsolete as new ways of creating virtual environments are experimented with.
It’s going to get harder and harder to keep up with changes too. Trust me on this, there’s no avoiding it. Just find a niche in life you enjoy, make some friends, have some close connections with others, care about yourself and your community and ride it out.
I dont see the future getting better in any way (under late stage capitalism) but ill be fine in my bubble. I feel sad for young kids though. Hopefully they dont grow up too depressed and cynical.
