show transcript
lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,
Ted Talker
Hi my name is Colin Support
María Tiktoker
John Uberdriver
Sam Gamereviewer
Shorten them and it works
Maria Toker
John Uber
Sam Vèiwer
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It’s basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They’re more based on relationship than occupation now.
Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, “Officer Pig”, “Sergeant Pig”, “Inspector Pig”, “Detective Pig”
I’d be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I’m an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.
Surf’s up, space ponies! I’m making gravy without the lumps!
Imagine being the actual John Gamer.
John Fallout
war doesnt change
The Management clan is huge.
And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.
It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death
Imagine Tony Head of Sales and Managment
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
also I’m super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
It’s getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion’s CEO’s name* ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones’ fight to prevent it.)
*(his bluesky display name, at least)
thank you for making this even funnier for me
can someone help me make “janitor” sound like a fancy French name pls
Custodienne
L’engienier du’sanitaccion
a bit long but i could make it work
Jaques Concierge?
Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.
Please see the excellent book “Jennifer Government” for a prescient look at where things are heading.
Omg, that stupid game that was released with the book ate like six months of my life.
What game ?
It was called NationState. Basically you had your own little country to manage
It is not a last name but it is not at all uncommun to mention your trade when introducting yourself.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
Timmy Onlyfansson
Duh. Long day.
That’s why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, …
So he thought, until he met Bobby fudgepacker.
That’s Dr. Theodore Talker. I didn’t receive a 2-hour Cambodian doctorate for nothing.
