I learned this lesson in high school. You need two way communication with your friends. “Are you coming over tonight?” You can’t just blast out an invite and then act like you don’t care if people are noncommittal. People have chats about your party without you, and they will all know if nobody is going to be there. It’s good to have a friend who will let you know, “Hey, everybody decided to go bowling instead.”
Invite fucking everyone, too. Don’t try to keep the guest list under control. The herd will naturally thin itself. Of course there’s planning and effort that goes into a party, but it’s better to just always be prepared for an impromptu gathering of friends. Those are far more fun. Keep the solo cups in a cupboard and bust them out when you have enough people to make beer pong fun.
If everyone bails, put the beer and snacks in the fridge and go to a bar. Keep everything on hand for another night. Don’t wallow in the empty room where all your friends would be if you had them. Go do something social and meet new friends.
If your friends say they are coming and then bail, they aren’t your friends. Invite different people to the next one.
Yeah I’ve literally never had anyone bail on a party. If they are they just aren’t your friends (if they’re doing it consistently, things do happen of course).
I don’t agree with the invite everyone thing, but my brother-in-law does that and it seems to work for him. My wife and I hate it though because he always invites the worst people just because he’s trying to make sure people actually show up. So we get terrible ex girlfriends at things like a family camping weekend.
Requesting one small caveat to your thinking: your friends with chronic health issues (physical and/or mental) may bail more often than others but still love you.
My partner has lost friends over them thinking he uses his migraines as an excuse to not show up to things. They feel hurt because he bailed one too many times for them, and he feels hurt because they diminished his disability and didn’t believe him. It’s hard to see the additional toll it takes on him.
(I also have my own chronic issues but thankfully have been able to suck it up often enough to not have it come in the way of friendships. Sometimes he and I are intentional about making sure at least one of us attends something even if we both feel like shit in order to not alienate people we care about.)
Yeah, as someone who is known for bailing on things for mental health reasons, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you…
This guy parties
Good advice, it helps to journal about your day/night and try to make life lessons too
“I didn’t have a party but I found out who my friends were.”
life gave him lemons!
Few things feel as lonely as planning a big party and then everyone flakes. Doubly so if they decide to do something else without you. ☹️
Triple when they convinced you to throw a party even though you know people won’t show. Happy 18th birthday, where are your friends?
I mean, more people would come if homie stopped putting beer on the counter to get warm.
Yeah and only 7 beers? Was he waiting for one or two person only?
I have a theory that would satisfy both your concerns. He has the fridge full of beer, chilled and ready to drink.
Once people start taking them out you put the one’s from the counter in to cool down
The fridge is full of beers, these didn’t fit
One
I usually drink 6-8 beers at a house party, but I never drink spirits. There is a bottle of vodka and whiskey on the counter, so if he is an abstinent, beers are for one friend, spirits for the other.
That’s a very optimistic take.
He must not like the friend who drinks beer if he’s providing luke-warm brew.
This would make for a great date!
Maybe he’s in England.
I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but this photo is 100% from North America (I was going to say US, but it could be Canada).
It’s a bit blurry but that is definitely an NA plug in the background.
It’s the massive fridge/freezer and the stove sticks out past the kitchen counter. Two things I don’t think I’ve seen in Europe before.
Brown wood pantry doors.
Lagers and ciders are cold, some bitters/stouts etc are room temp.
TIL, maybe thats why I haven’t found any stout that I like.
(Mostly an Ale, lager, IPA drinker)
I chill everything…which is mostly ales, lagers, IPAs, and pilsners.
I’m slowly discovering stouts and porters as I get older, and I chill those too, I’ve never disliked one, but that doesn’t mean I’m drinking them the best way.
I know of zero beers that are better warm.
Same. But there are stouts for example that are better at room temperature. An American told me that.
And this is why i will never host a social function again.
That is the result of my every effort
I don’t see the problem, honestly: dude just got more beer/whisky/(gin || vodka) to himself, not even counting the snacks. One less party, one more month of cozy evenings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
More whisky to drown the crushing loneliness.
Gotta keep that existential dread at bay.
Or make a nice 5-12% cocktail to chill out while watching a movie or something
Vodka. I believe the New Amsterdam gin has a black label and the vodka has that blue one.
one more month of cozy evenings
A 1.75 of vodka, a fifth of whiskey, and seven beers? That wouldn’t last a week for me but good on you, fam!
I’ll never drink New Amsterdam gin again. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff but I learned quick it’s the only alcohol that’s had me doing shady stuff like stealing someone’s bike, breaking into a car or pushing my friends around in a shopping cart in the streets at 3 AM.
I’ve drank to excess plenty of times in my younger days but never was I doing stuff like that. Something about that alcohol in particular is wild.
Imagine bragging about how much you drink to some randos on the internet.
My friend, sorry I think you should talk to someone real. Get help! That shit destroys…
I appreciate your concern but I’m not looking to hear some kind of abstinence lecture.
I appreciate your concern but I’m not looking to hear some kind of abstinence lecture.
Not that I have any horse in this race, but for the record there’s a profound difference between abstinence and moderation, and if you don’t think there are gradations between “alcoholic levels of ethanol consumption” and “no alcohol consumption,” then perhaps they have a point.
Be good to yourself, my friend.
Yeah, my usual consumption is 2×.5 of cider per evening, so 3.5 days on beer + ~5 days on whisky + ~17.5 days on vodka ≈ 26 days, but realistically more, since I don’t drink every day.
When my wife was in a 3rd grade nobody came to her birthday. Her mother had mental problems and had an ‘episode’ earlier that year. Lovely parents decided to ostracize the entire family.
People suck, especially in small communities
Did your wife have beer pong and liquor ready at her party?
Send the addy I’m otw
My last party went much like this. First party thrown since the divorce, went all out on a halloween costume party. Was hounding my best friend about it for months, only for him to flake saying he didn’t want to drive the 40 minutes to my house. Nobody came, spent over $1000 on decorations alone. I’ll throw another party at some point, but I’ll need to find some new friends first.
Oh man. I’ve had this kind of thing. I started inviting people I knew wouldn’t come. I wouldn’t feel bad when they didn’t. But I’d occasionally get a couple that I didn’t expect and had a good time.
My girlfriend hates hearing no though so she only invites those she knows will say yes. It’s a bit of a bummer. Because I always enjoy the surprise of someone I didn’t expect.
Didn’t you request replies from your invitees (RSVP)?
of course, they all said yes. invited 20-ish people, hoped for 7-10, got none. They started bailing about a day before, but only 4 definitively said they couldn’t make it.
ill come tell me the address
this is why I will never ever have a party.
It sucks for sure. On average I invite 20ish people and expect 5 to show up. If nobody shows up I’m still eating the good food and having a couch bonfire. Ain’t nobody stopping my fun
Why disappoint yourself: don’t invite anyone in the first place and enjoy it all the same.
Hahaha, because I do have friends that I do like to see. But we are all of the age where we actually have responsibilities (kids, wives, husbands, family, jobs etc). Not everyone can be available at 3 weeks notice. And that’s fair
I know, lol it was a cynical joke. I’m in a similar boat.
because I do have friends
Rub it in why don’t you… 😞
For me it’s the thought of people I don’t know very well (if at all) going through and/or breaking my shit.
RSVPs are a thing
People say yes then cancel the same day of the event.
It’s just as the ancient songs prophesied
This reminds me of a post I saw were a guy had even made a lot of food that needs a lot of time and care. So when I saw that this guy went for only snacks in a bag (chips) I felt relieved. Sucks no one came but at least he can eat and drink what he bought when ever and invite ppl with the same setup on a later date.
Yeah I remember that. It was the first thing I thought of her and felt sad again.
Post it on a public college party group chat. Your house will be packed like sardines in 15 minutes.
That whisky and vodka will be gone in 37 seconds.
And everything of value was lost.
F
