Seen this on reddit and thought it was an interesting question that largely is not talked about.

It is largely an issue that gets sidelined and hidden because people don’t want to talk about it or accept that it exists. Hopefully this gets some traction to break that marginalisation.

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Maybe I’m too laid back to notice, but I’ve never seen anyone hate men just because they’re male. So much so, that in order to answer this question I had to google what “misandry” meant. I had no clue what the hell you were even asking.

    Is this seriously a thing? Am I in a bubble isolated from this? Or are you in a bubble where non-issues are issues for you? Genuinely asking.

    • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      I’ve never seen anyone hate men just because they’re male

      I’ve almost never actually seen it, but it’s BAD when it does appear. Had one boss tell me straight to my face that I was going to be useless because I was a man. She did all sorts of really petty stuff, like removing the clock from the break room and chewing me out for being ~30 seconds late coming back from break. Lost that job in less than a week when she literally lied to the manager that I never showed up for a shift. I could have easily fought and won for the job back, but I just didn’t care at all and spent my effort on more fruitful things.

        • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          Not worth it in the US unless you are certain to get enough to never work again. You will be framed as anti-woman regardless of facts and that will effectively ban you from future employment.

    • Wanderer@lemm.eeOP
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      8 months ago

      The highest frequency I see of it is when issues are discarded when it is an issue with men. Be it homelessness, suicide, job inequality, domestic violence or any other issue. But not for women. It seems men are worthless in a lot of people’s eyes because they aren’t women.

      Or equally men are responsible for all the bad things in the world because simply they are men and men are responsible. For example a common issue is when men say they open up to a woman and that women used that to attack them. Then someone might say this is the patriarchy and toxic masculinity in action and men need to sort it out. Even though the man has done absolutely nothing wrong only the woman. Deflecting any responsibly from women doing something they shouldn’t have.

      The inequality of responses from those being harmed, or undervalued and those responsible for the negativity seems at times strongly dependant on if it is a man or a women.

      At least that is what I have seen mostly. But I’m more curious about others.

      • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        It seems men are worthless in a lot of people’s eyes

        That’s just a simple truth of the world that all men have to learn: Strangers have no reason to care about you unless you have something valuable to offer them. It might sound harsh at first, but you learn the wisdom of it as you grow, as it also frees you from obligations to people you can’t necessarily trust, which is critical when your social role is to protect those closest to you. It imparts upon the man a fundamental sense of urgency to live and let live as much as possible, and to pursue positive personality traits so that one can benefit from their relationship with their neighbours.

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Oh, I’m ABSOLUTELY in a bubble away from tiktok.

        You know how a broken clock is right twice a day? Well, trump actually got tiktok right the FIRST time he had an opinion on it, in 2016, and surprisingly enough for the right reason.

        It IS a Chinese espionage tool. It always has been. Both against their own citizens, and against other nations userbase.

        I just want to make clear two things.

        1. I’m NOT a trump supporter. He just happened to be right on this one issue in 2016. It’s one of those times where I was like “Wait…really? I’m agreeing with trump??? That can’t be right…no, it checks out. He’s making rational points…are we SURE this is trump??? The orange cheeto man? The grease pizza slut? That guy is…alright. Feels weird agreeing with trump on something…”

        2. He’s since reversed his stance, and gotten his own tiktok once he realized he could game the system. So, suddenly he’s pro-tiktok. Which is somehow better for me personally. I can keep my position, and not feel dirty for being on trumps side. I have spent all of 0 minutes on tiktok.

        • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Me, to MAGAS:

          You hate China because you’re racist.

          I hate China because the CCP is a giant bag of dicks.

          We are not the same.

    • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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      8 months ago

      some people go searching every corner of the net looking for something they call “misandry” so they can play the victim card

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Misandry is what some men call women discussing sexism. Look in the comment section of any “man VS bear” content and you’ll see a lot of dudes calling the question “man hating misandry rage bait”.

        Msinadry is essentially the “reverse racism” and “anti white racism” for sexism. I’m not dismissing the concepts because there are always outliers with weird predjucies. But patriarchy and white superiority are historical trends rooted in centuries of history, laws and scientific studies, they just aren’t comperable. Even if women and PoC discussing the ways those structures have hurt them is taken personally by some men.

        • OfCourseNot@fedia.io
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          8 months ago

          But isn’t that example absolute ‘misandry rage bait’ tho? I had to look it up (because I haven’t been so terminally online lately) and, after skimming through some discovery channel results, it seems like exactly that.

          Those videos just cherry pick the answers that are gonna give them more ‘engagement’, I do believe that ‘I prefer to encounter a random bear rather than a random man while alone in the forest’ to be a rather ‘misandrist’ (just plainly dumb honestly) answer, and I don’t believe this is what a majority of women think. So I see it as obvious bait to drive those that like to cry misandry when they are forced to try women as equals to the comments.

          Quick edit: if the question would have been ‘who have hurt you less?’ Or ‘by whom are you less threatened on a daily basis?’ then ‘bears’ is definitely a reasonable answer.

  • november@lemmy.vg
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    8 months ago

    What do you mean by “misandry”?

    If you mean “women venting about their experiences in a male-dominated world”, then I don’t give a shit. I just try not to be the reason they’re complaining.

    If you mean unrealistic emotional expectations for men, like we’re not allowed to cry or be sensitive or feel any emotion but anger, it frustrates me. I don’t really know how to handle it.

    • arin@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      My gf used to say “i hate men” all the time. I have to stare at her for minutes until she realized I am also a man and she changes subjects sheepishly…

    • Wanderer@lemm.eeOP
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      8 months ago

      Not the first one.

      I wasn’t thinking the second but that would be an example. I would say conversations with men over this topic is a lot easier than you would expect. There is support there. Bringing up with women who want a men to not cry or be sensitive can be difficult.

      • can@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        I’d refer to “toxic masculinity” or “the manosphere” if that’s what you meant.

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I don’t deal with it at all cuz I don’t have the time to spend searching for hours to find some.

  • newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org
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    8 months ago

    I deal with it with grace, understanding, and compassion. I’m gay, but as a white cis man I still have obscene amounts of privilege. I feel a bit like a double agent. I’m a minority, but as I move through the world I am afforded all of the privilege that patriarchy can offer. And I can say with full confidence, the misandry I encounter pales in comparison to the homophobia I encounter. This goes for online as well as irl. And “pales in comparison” is inadequate. It’s so not even on the same playing field. They are not even comparable. I get it. It’s rougher to be a straight man than it’s ever been. I routinely get “mistreated” because I’m a bearded white guy who looks like Steve from Minnesota. But having a woman be less polite to me now and then is nowhere near what I go through as a queer. Especially growing up. I used to pray every night for god to kill me. Because I am queer. Not because I am a man. And I’ve tried to explain this to my brothers, and they don’t get it and can’t help but feel like the victim in all of this. And I bet you will align with them. But hopefully someone reading this will hear it. Yes, you are struggling. But fucking cope. Cope. Sharpen your coping skills. Because you have still been spared in a way you can’t even comprehend.

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    I run into far more misandry in real life than online.

    I joined a men’s group so I can have a place that what I am is celebrated.

  • arin@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Lmao this is already getting brigaded -10 votes op. Just for asking a question. But yeah i just laugh it off as crazy feminist agenda sad femcel shit. My current gf was a strong feminist when we met but eventually she stopped socializing with feminists and has a more healthy mindset and works on improving herself and our home instead of the hyperfocus on misandry. I never really talked her out of it, she just grew out of it.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      I don’t think it’s brigades, I think people just generally didn’t like the tone. I didn’t vote on this post but I did question the OP’s experience and intent when asking so bluntly and describing it as “marginalization”.

      And more to the point, comments such as yours, which equate “feminism” with “misandry” are likely a bigger contributor to why people don’t appreciate this post overall.

        • can@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          At the extreme ends, sure. But we can’t discuss them as if they’re representative of the general concept. I don’t go around identifying myself as a feminist unprompted but I do believe in equality for all. And I don’t see how that means us men will suddenly have to be second class next to women. It’s equality, it’s equal. I’m not suggesting we shift who’s in power but rather we should balance it evenly.

          Do you see where I’m coming from at all?