I think he’s saying the pope is debt…maybe…I don’t know.

Take me back. I don’t like it in the future…

My first instinct is to make a crude joke about your wife.

But that’s actually really sweet!

This quote has me worried for what comes next. And has since the election.

Although I remember hearing it closer to October when they had the debates.

Colonoscopy.

Yes, but it’s not defined how much.

Sounds like you need a new wife. And if your new wife doesn’t find it funny, you could always just tickle her until she laughs at it!

It sounds fun on paper, but all we’d be left with is jocks running the government.

I agree we have a shit government now, but that wouldn’t be an improvement. It would be an equally stupid government.

“I would, but, my dog ate them.”

“Sir, you don’t have a dog?”

“I had to show the dog who’s boss! I ate the dog! I’M EATING THE CATS AND DOGS!!!”

If you were a cop, you’d be a racist piece of shit who covers for other cops after they shoot people.

I thought it meant that his girlfriend died.

How much spanking do you need that it requires THREE mistresses???

That’s what YOU think! I eat MY cereal using my fists! Straight from the box! I go in dry!

I always used this:

“I fucked your mom last night!”

“Ew. You need to get yourself tested…”

Humans are the virus.

Here, take my gasoline!

Someone check the couches for DNA!

Ya know…from that perspective? Mans got a point!

Are we sure it wasn’t one of the 34x he was convicted?

Don’t forget the part where he’s a pedophile! Most people look down on that.