Are people really this afraid of strangers? Last year I bought a bicycle from a woman, she sent me her address, I went there, it was just her and her baby waiting for me with the bicycle. Didn’t even kidnap her.
That seems kind of like the standard procedure around here (Germany) too. When you sell something online, the expectation is always that the buyer comes to the sellers house to pick up the item. I’ve never seen anyone do that “let’s meet at this random parking lot” thing americans tend to do.
That is sad. Openly showing trust to the people around you (even if you have to take the first step and give someone the benefit of the doubt) creates the safest, most pleasant communities. Plus it’s just a massive hassle and mental strain to distrust everyone all the time.
The police station in our town has a designated area for stuff like this. It’s lit and recorded 24/7. The police station itself is also open 24/7 for obvious reasons. It also shares the parking lot with city hall and a courthouse. Absolutely an American thing.
Enjoy it man, that’s a privilege to have and it only takes 1 bad incident for it all to come crumbling down when the media blows it out of proportion and everyone goes on a witch hunt for minorities.
There were a few attacks by angry people. But who says that in Germany “a whole lot more” hasn’t happened? People are losing their jobs, capitalism is massively extracting people’s wealth, enshittification everywhere. “A whole lot more” than one incident is currently happening.
All I’m doing is staying realistic. You saying “one incident is all it takes” is not literally true. It’s an exaggeration, not an entirely untrue one, but still.
You’ve not offended anyone. Your feelings are valid. Humans are capable of terrible things, but on the whole, we live in an extremely peaceful society. There’s luckily so much more humans who do amazing things than terrible, unfortunately a few who do terrible is all it takes for the feeling of safety to crumble.
Even the majority of Germans who let national socialism happen aren’t all terrible. The absolute majority of them were just scared and ignorant and had a feeling of helplessness which is why they let it happen, but the actual agreement and horrible things were done by a minority of people. Same in other areas today where terrible things are happening.
Don’t you remember the turning point of the 2002 Hartford kidnapping that turned the US society from a tolerant and inclusive society to a racist and violent hell?
People are shity sometimes. I’m one that goes to an address if that’s the expectation. But there are items I almost never sell in person from my home, electronics being one.
My mother had a garage sale (total American thing I’m sure) and was robbed a few weeks later by someone taking an unusual amount of time “shopping“ with her phone out. The gal was a fool, had recordings on her phone of her and the places she was going to rob with address. After a month or so of this, she was caught and her phone searched where they found 20+ videos of other houses where they looked at stuff that would make for easy theft from the garage.
Lessons here are you need to decide who do you let in your home and I know it’s a lot to do with culture. Europe has some social support in place, the USA just says good luck and fuck off.
they live on the other side of the county and it’s going to take them an hour to get to our house.
Every now and again I’m reminded just how small some countries are, I drive 45min to work every day and I’m only one town over, meanwhile in 15 more minutes you can be on “the other side” of a whole country?
Meanwhile the trip across the US with no stops and traffic will take me 1d 19hr for 2,544 mi (4094.171 km) (according to openstreetmaps).
Edit: LOL I can’t read. It’s still true I suppose just not in this case haha.
Which is why I, as a professional guard baby, always bring a tennis ball and a kitten to expected kidnappings: to distract puppies and to distract the kidnapper with “dad with the kitten he said he didn’t want” moments.
Why even make a fucking lamp in the first place? Weren’t regular lamps good enough as they were?
You kids these days… back in my day, before leds, you would never even consider using a lamp for any kind of sexual act. Between the bulb melting your flesh, the risks of broken glass, and the risks of electrocution… Well it just wasn’t worth it.
And yet their solution is to use a man for protection?
Nothing wrong with that, I just think it’s a little one-sided to say “women are afraid of men” while ignoring the part where “women use men for safety.”
My neighbor was selling something, the person came over but either didn’t get it or saw something he liked became they came back and broke into their house to get it.
How does this apply to the whole “gender roles are obsolete/archaic” thing?
I’m not trying to be edgy, I’m just trying to understand how that idea meshes with “wife sends husband into potentially dangerous situation because the risk for him is lower”
Well if the person was a ftm trans man, who these days are basically impossible to differentiate from cis men, they probably would have been pretty safe. So gender isn’t obsolete per se, it’s just not immutable.
And some people might want it to be obsolete, but society writ large is just not on board with that.
Rapists will always prey on people who are more vulnerable than them. Things like prison rape show that a person’s genitals aren’t always a factor. Mtf trans people also get raped.
Nice deflection. I never claimed gender is immutable. You just brought cis/trans distinction into a discussion about man/woman.
So gender isn’t obsolete per se
So it’s only obsolete if we’re talking about cis men? Cause if you meant anything else by that, then why would you even bring it up? Is it obsolete or is it not obsolete?
Don’t give me “per se,” cause that just leaves you room to carve out exceptions for anyone you don’t think is oppressed enough to deserve your sympathy or acknowledgement.
Rapists will always prey on people who are more vulnerable than them. Things like prison rape show that a person’s genitals aren’t always a factor. Mtf trans people also get raped.
Rape is an evil, vile, despicable thing to do to another person. That’s a bit of a red herring though, because my question was about how this topic reflects on gender roles. Cause it seems like the same people who want to say “gender roles are archaic and should be done away with” are in favor of sending a man into a situation where a woman might be in danger. But wouldn’t that make it a gender role?
By the way, cis men get raped too. Using mtf as an example to show that a person’s genitals aren’t always a factor is akin to saying “Only women get raped.” Especially when combined with your statement that “Ftm would be pretty safe.” So what’s your agenda, to claim the world is ultimately safe for men?
So are you saying men should do the dangerous stuff, fulfilling the gender role of “protector”? Because most feminists would be allergic to a statement like that. And yet here they are, saying “The world’s too dangerous for women, so they need to send men to do the dangerous stuff.”
My only point one way or the other is that it displays a glaring inconsistency that needs to be examined. There’s no need to insert the cis/trans distinction into the mix; if gender roles are obsolete, then it doesn’t matter; and if they’re not then the only difference it makes is in how men or women perform their gender, and whether they’re cis or trans wouldn’t change that.
Are people really this afraid of strangers? Last year I bought a bicycle from a woman, she sent me her address, I went there, it was just her and her baby waiting for me with the bicycle. Didn’t even kidnap her.
And they say chivalry is dead.
Just left her there. Didn’t bring her home. I say chivalry is dead
Tap for spoiler
/s
Didn’t even bring her back to the keep so that my liege lord could sell her back for ransom. So much for chivalry.
We truly live in an unchivalrous society insert joker meme here
That seems kind of like the standard procedure around here (Germany) too. When you sell something online, the expectation is always that the buyer comes to the sellers house to pick up the item. I’ve never seen anyone do that “let’s meet at this random parking lot” thing americans tend to do.
The US is a lower trust society than most of Europe
That is sad. Openly showing trust to the people around you (even if you have to take the first step and give someone the benefit of the doubt) creates the safest, most pleasant communities. Plus it’s just a massive hassle and mental strain to distrust everyone all the time.
Indeed. The death of the local community will be the undoing of America
Well, what do you expect? It’s full of Americans.
Yep I get it, it’s a 3rd world thing. In my home country that’s what I’d do.
The police station in our town has a designated area for stuff like this. It’s lit and recorded 24/7. The police station itself is also open 24/7 for obvious reasons. It also shares the parking lot with city hall and a courthouse. Absolutely an American thing.
In the town I grew up in, the police station shared a parking lot with a Wawa.
Enjoy it man, that’s a privilege to have and it only takes 1 bad incident for it all to come crumbling down when the media blows it out of proportion and everyone goes on a witch hunt for minorities.
Pretty sure it takes a whole lot more than that.
You would think but wasn’t it in Germany that people went out attacking migrants in response to an incident where migrants were the perpetrators?
All I’m saying is that you assume people will respond logically like yourself but in reality that’s rarely the case.
There were a few attacks by angry people. But who says that in Germany “a whole lot more” hasn’t happened? People are losing their jobs, capitalism is massively extracting people’s wealth, enshittification everywhere. “A whole lot more” than one incident is currently happening.
All I’m doing is staying realistic. You saying “one incident is all it takes” is not literally true. It’s an exaggeration, not an entirely untrue one, but still.
Maybe I’ve lost hope in people, I didn’t mean to offend.
You’ve not offended anyone. Your feelings are valid. Humans are capable of terrible things, but on the whole, we live in an extremely peaceful society. There’s luckily so much more humans who do amazing things than terrible, unfortunately a few who do terrible is all it takes for the feeling of safety to crumble.
Even the majority of Germans who let national socialism happen aren’t all terrible. The absolute majority of them were just scared and ignorant and had a feeling of helplessness which is why they let it happen, but the actual agreement and horrible things were done by a minority of people. Same in other areas today where terrible things are happening.
Don’t you remember the turning point of the 2002 Hartford kidnapping that turned the US society from a tolerant and inclusive society to a racist and violent hell?
Umm yes, now that you mention it, that was exactly it! Everything before and everything after didn’t matter!
People are shity sometimes. I’m one that goes to an address if that’s the expectation. But there are items I almost never sell in person from my home, electronics being one.
My mother had a garage sale (total American thing I’m sure) and was robbed a few weeks later by someone taking an unusual amount of time “shopping“ with her phone out. The gal was a fool, had recordings on her phone of her and the places she was going to rob with address. After a month or so of this, she was caught and her phone searched where they found 20+ videos of other houses where they looked at stuff that would make for easy theft from the garage.
Lessons here are you need to decide who do you let in your home and I know it’s a lot to do with culture. Europe has some social support in place, the USA just says good luck and fuck off.
My wife occasionally agrees to meet people if they live on the other side of the county and it’s going to take them an hour to get to our house.
Usually people just come and pick up their items. We live suburbia though so maybe they feel “safer.”
Every now and again I’m reminded just how small some countries are, I drive 45min to work every day and I’m only one town over, meanwhile in 15 more minutes you can be on “the other side” of a whole country?
Meanwhile the trip across the US with no stops and traffic will take me 1d 19hr for 2,544 mi (4094.171 km) (according to openstreetmaps).
Edit: LOL I can’t read. It’s still true I suppose just not in this case haha.
County, not country.
LOL in my defense I had just woken up and I guess I thought you lived in like Luxembourg or some shit.
Yeah fair that aforementioned work is in the next county over from me haha.
But you did kidnap the baby
No, I wanted a bicycle, not a baby. Also kidnapping is kind of frowned upon in my culture.
You kidnapped the bicycle? You monster!
No way, same thing in my culture, you from earth too??
No, I’m from Betelgeuse V.
You got the baby though, right?
Of course. She was a single mother, kidnapping her would be dumb. When you kidnap the baby, you can get ransom from her.
That’s why she brought her baby. No one is going to kidnap someone with a baby. To much hassle.
That’s why I always bring a puppy to kidnappings: to distract babies.
Which is why I, as a professional guard baby, always bring a tennis ball and a kitten to expected kidnappings: to distract puppies and to distract the kidnapper with “dad with the kitten he said he didn’t want” moments.
Now the kitten I might kidnap.
Also Zaphod didn’t want to mention it but the baby had a knife.
Didn’t kidnap her yet. Now you know her address for a later date, without the pretext to incriminate you! I’m onto you, pal
And she doesn’t have a bike to make a fast getaway!
That is what the story is about, yes, women have a fear of harm from men. I assume you know why.
gestures at everything
Even the lamp. Fucking lamps…
Why even make a fucking lamp in the first place? Weren’t regular lamps good enough as they were?
You kids these days… back in my day, before leds, you would never even consider using a lamp for any kind of sexual act. Between the bulb melting your flesh, the risks of broken glass, and the risks of electrocution… Well it just wasn’t worth it.
well the led lamps are pretty handy butt flutes, but you don’t really care for music do ya?
And yet their solution is to use a man for protection?
Nothing wrong with that, I just think it’s a little one-sided to say “women are afraid of men” while ignoring the part where “women use men for safety.”
That’s a very disingenuous argument.
Is it? Or are you just in the habit of labeling anything that conflicts with your assumptions as being disingenuous?
My neighbor was selling something, the person came over but either didn’t get it or saw something he liked became they came back and broke into their house to get it.
Almost like women have different, valid, fears than men
How does this apply to the whole “gender roles are obsolete/archaic” thing?
I’m not trying to be edgy, I’m just trying to understand how that idea meshes with “wife sends husband into potentially dangerous situation because the risk for him is lower”
Well if the person was a ftm trans man, who these days are basically impossible to differentiate from cis men, they probably would have been pretty safe. So gender isn’t obsolete per se, it’s just not immutable.
And some people might want it to be obsolete, but society writ large is just not on board with that.
Rapists will always prey on people who are more vulnerable than them. Things like prison rape show that a person’s genitals aren’t always a factor. Mtf trans people also get raped.
Nice deflection. I never claimed gender is immutable. You just brought cis/trans distinction into a discussion about man/woman.
So it’s only obsolete if we’re talking about cis men? Cause if you meant anything else by that, then why would you even bring it up? Is it obsolete or is it not obsolete?
Don’t give me “per se,” cause that just leaves you room to carve out exceptions for anyone you don’t think is oppressed enough to deserve your sympathy or acknowledgement.
Rape is an evil, vile, despicable thing to do to another person. That’s a bit of a red herring though, because my question was about how this topic reflects on gender roles. Cause it seems like the same people who want to say “gender roles are archaic and should be done away with” are in favor of sending a man into a situation where a woman might be in danger. But wouldn’t that make it a gender role?
By the way, cis men get raped too. Using mtf as an example to show that a person’s genitals aren’t always a factor is akin to saying “Only women get raped.” Especially when combined with your statement that “Ftm would be pretty safe.” So what’s your agenda, to claim the world is ultimately safe for men?
So are you saying men should do the dangerous stuff, fulfilling the gender role of “protector”? Because most feminists would be allergic to a statement like that. And yet here they are, saying “The world’s too dangerous for women, so they need to send men to do the dangerous stuff.”
My only point one way or the other is that it displays a glaring inconsistency that needs to be examined. There’s no need to insert the cis/trans distinction into the mix; if gender roles are obsolete, then it doesn’t matter; and if they’re not then the only difference it makes is in how men or women perform their gender, and whether they’re cis or trans wouldn’t change that.
I didn’t know we were having an argument, and I didn’t know I was even disagreeing with you, but OK.
Are you doing alright? Maybe take a deep breath.
Sorry, it’s just hard to approach these topics from my angle without bracing to be punched in the face…
Apparently women are.
Is this surprising to you?