I was wondering how you hobbyists say no to friends and acquaintances mostly. I have gifted a few small things and others just know that I do leather work.
I am getting inundated with requests and some are just way too much work. Of course they offer to pay but my time is limited and really I can’t even ask for a real hourly rate without out being prohibitively expensive. Especially when I have to design from scratch it takes me a ton of time.
I also would like to keep it a hobby and make when and what I want and not fulfill orders! I already have a side hustle I don’t need another one.
I was wondering how your experience is and how you handle this.
Practice saying “no thank you! I don’t need other work” or something similar.
You don’t have any reason to feel bad about saying no to people. It’s flattering of them to ask but it’s perfectly polite to just say “no thanks! This is my hobby not a business, I just do it for me.”
That’s basically what I say. Or some vacation or, “haha that’s very flattering, thank you for taking note of my hobby, I appreciate your kind words”
And I just don’t make it.
I like that. It’s not a no (which can be hard to say) but it’s really not an agreement to make something either. Thanks!
Yeah I think it comes down to that. I guess I just needed to hear it.
Or “I’d like to do it but I’m very busy right now”.
I don’t have experience leatherworking, but DEFINITELY have experience in struggling to just tell people no. And logically, I understand that saying no would lower the volume of requests you’re seeing. To me, it’s not about saying no to be mean, but about setting clear expectations and boundaries in a non threatening way.
Maybe a dedicated website explaining your prices and policy, with an acknowledgement that you appreciate the support from your friends but can’t afford to take on every single project they suggest. This would give you a way to redirect people to your explanation in a format they’re less likely to push back on. Most people will be understanding of this, giving you more emotional bandwidth to deal with anyone who is pushier about their demands on your time.
If there are standard pieces you’d like to offer, you could list them here too, giving your friends a specific way to channel their support while still being manageable for yourself
Regardless of how you proceed, I wish you luck and strength my friend. Leatherwork requires skill and it sounds like you’ve found a fun hobby to pursue.
Thanks but I want no requests at all. I am not selling. I want it to be purely a hobby and do how I please. My side hustle started out as a hobby and it turned into a business. I don’t want leatherwork to go the same route. My time is already so limited and I don’t want burn out. Leatherwork is my escape.
I think you can say, as you effectively just said, “This is just my hobby, I’m not turning it into a business” and that should discourage anyone from asking again, at least for a while.
I keep saying it but it doesn’t seem to click for people. I think it’s really hard to understand for some that not everything needs to be turned into money. Part of the problem probably is that I did turn a hobby into a business and that’s what they see.
And then there is the “oh I get that but as a favour for me” person. I am really struggling with that. They are friends so I feel like I should but how do you tell them that the favour is too “large”? I just got a request for something that probably would cost me 40-60 hours to make and I have zero interest in making an item like that. How do I say no without them feeling like they aren’t “worth” it? Or is that just in my head?
Ah, man, that’s tough — I would struggle with the “as a favor” part too, and not wanting to come off as seeming selfish (when of course you’re not, you just don’t have the time/energy to devote doing projects for everyone else rather than for just you, which is the whole point). I wish I had better advice. Best of luck, you need your hobbies for you!
Thanks. I think talking about it helps. And the confirmation that it’s ok to have some hobbies for myself. I shouldn’t feel like I owe people.
Hey friend, sorry I misunderstood the original question. I still think a standalone page might help, but like you said, you really want to put a firm boundary down that this is for fun not open for commissions.
Maybe something like “I’d love to be able to help with this request but since this is my hobby and not a business, I’m not equipped to handle requests like this”. Feel free to chatgpt it more closely to your scenario, but I think a single sentence is probably the simplest thing you need here.
Your boundaries are totally reasonable.
OP, this is solid advice until the ChatGPT part. Please don’t use AI to formulate answers to your friends.
About that 40-60 hours work, “are you trying to make me hate this?” 😜
Be honest and say you’re not taking commissions right now or don’t have the time… If they push give them the actual hourly cost it would take you - I have found that usually stops people asking again and in the very very unlikely event they agree then you get decent remuneration for your time.
Yeah I think the price just has to be too steep for people to accept. And “I don’t have time” isn’t even a lie.
if they’re anything like my friends and family, just say something like “sounds like a good birthday/christmas gift idea” and give it about 24 hours, they’ll forget they even asked. at that point you can either make it or not.
I’ll try it for sure. Nobody has changed their mind that quickly but for now I tell them “when I have time sometime”
If you can yourself a hobbyist then you likely struggle with communicating the true value of your time for your craft.
People are asking you to make things because they value the product they see that you can make, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve internalized the same measure of value of your work.
All that to say, my advice is that when people give you a request, communicate your response in the following general framework:
-first things first, I’m really backed up and don’t really have time for new commissions HOWEVER
-if you’re willing to wait at least ___________ time then I might be able to fit you in BUT
-I need you to understand that your project will likely be much more expensive than you imagine it to be because it’s custom, and the amount of time that will go into making a custom design that meets my quality standards will be very high.
-i generally commission a piece with an estimated rate of _______ (price per hour - DON’T undersell yourself here. An entire new conversation could go into pricing the value of your time, but that’s a tangent we won’t go into here) and just as a VERY rough estimate I can already guess that your idea would take _______ hours in design time alone, not even considering materials or the time it would take me to create the piece.
-if you’re ok with all that, then maybe we can work together. Why don’t you reach out in _______ amount of weeks/months and we’ll reengage? (Kick the can down the road)
-in the meantime, if you really want your piece before then, I recommend you check out ________ (recommend some good online retailers)
Any of these blanks can be adjusted. If it’s someone you really don’t want to work with, inflate all the timelines. If it’s someone you are close to, give them the lower hourly rate because they’re friends and family or whatever.
But it’s professional, structured, flexible, and sets realistic expectations. Most people will get waved away simply by the price, as you know already.
But most people won’t start out realizing how much time and effort goes into what they’re asking for so you really need to help communicate that so they have a better understanding that a custom knife sheath or whatever isn’t something you can just whip up in an afternoon for the price of a couple pizzas.
That’s my whole point though. It IS and has to stay a hobby. I do NOT want to make stuff to sell. No commission, no orders, no selling at all.
Oh.
Ok then yeah, just tell them you don’t make stuff for other people?
/thread
