Hello there, I’m a 21 year old guy from Germany and have very strong depression because of the constant abusive, toxic and manipulative behavior that I received from my parents since I was a kid.
Those strong depression are also the reason why I struggle a lot in life to get anything done by myself and become independent.
I already lived on my own when I was 17 but I failed because of my depression that made me incapable of taking care of myself which is why I moved back to my parents a year ago who only make it way worse for me because they won’t stop hurting me and treating me like a awful person.
I feel so stuck in life and I tried everything from therapy, mental hospital and medications but nothing worked. The burden is just too strong causing me to feel worthless and incapable of living, I have lots of shame, guilt and major anxiety.
It’s like being paralyzed by the fear of life.
My biggest dream always was to get rid of my parents and live independently on my own but I’m just incapable. I wanna get rid of this victim state so bad but I can’t find a way to escape/deal with the hurt.
Is there anything I can do?
I didn’t know my roommates when I first moved in with them. I found a listing for “roommate wanted” and “student housing” in an area not too far away from the university, far enough that transportation would be needed to get there (meaning much cheaper rent), but still considered to be in the greater general area. I wasn’t a student, but that didn’t matter. And the friends I made when I moved in became my lifeline.
I was in a similar sounding situation to what you’ve described, and I promise you, it will get easier. I doubt things will ever be actually easy, but think about how boring life would be if we didn’t have to struggle a little and get creative, hey? It helps to break down these larger problems into smaller pieces, if possible. They’re more manageable that way.