An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scottishman walk into a bar and immediately begin urinating into their foam seats.

“What are you doing!?” exclaims the barman.

The Irishman zips up and replies, “it is my Celtic birthright to mark my territory from foreign invaders.”

The Englishman zips up and replies, “it was like that when I got here”.

The Scottishman carries on peeing and replies, “what does it look like I’m doing you daft cunt?”