It taught me how much i wasted my youth by being a pussy and not improving my skills

  • renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net
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    15 days ago

    My curiosity got the better of me and I watched a video of a drug cartel beheading three people. Two with a chainsaw, one with a knife. It was horrific and not quick.

    If you’re ever tempted to watch something like that, do not do it. It’s not worth it. It’s been years and I still have random intrusive thoughts about it and it makes me physically ill.

    • Lupus@feddit.org
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      15 days ago

      Yeah, as a teenager I got curious and was on rotten.com, damn that website was dark. Some of the things I saw are still with me, I won’t describe them because it would be way too graphic. Basically what you said - do not do it there is nothing to be found except suffering.

      I still have random intrusive thoughts about it and it makes me physically ill.

      That’s a good thing in my book, the fact that that stuff still makes me feel bad is proof of my empathy and humanity, if you know what I mean? Like it didn’t desensitize me.

      Edit: after I wrote the comment I noticed that the website got hyperlinked - don’t bother, thank God that site is offline now

      • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        I used to watch this stuff. It didn’t really bother me. Then my childish curiosity waned and I didn’t seek it out anymore. Then I saw a video randomly and I was fucking so disturbed and I thought what is wrong with me that I wanted to see that.

        I guess I developed empathy at some point? I’ve seen some of the videos from Ukraine and they make me sick.

    • emmy67@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      Sounds closer to ptsd than intrusive thoughts tbh

      Originally ptsd was diagnosed to military AND first responders, first responders because they saw some shit.

      Like you did

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      15 days ago

      PTSD is real deal esp if unprepared

      We should deff be sending teenagers into foreign countries to harass local population with night raids… Nothing can go wrong