I’m nonbinary femme. I don’t like masculine or male terms. A few days ago, I was on a group chat with someone and they said “this guy” and used “he/him” pronouns, not knowing my gender. I, however, told them not to address me as a guy and that I preferred neutral terms but was fine with feminine terms as well.
Well, did they have any idea? Were you quick to respond with venom? Were you just casual about it? How should we know if you give us such vague details.
This. If you were casual about it, why would you even need to ask if you were the asshole, just for having boundaries/preferences and expressing them?
I just casually said “Don’t address me as a man, I prefer neutral terms or feminine.”
Alrighty. Well, if I’m gonna be honest, the wording does seem a bit like you excepted them to know. “Don’t address me as…” idk, it might just be me. But if I was the dude on the receiving end of that, my first thought would be, “Damn, I didn’t know, don’t gotta act like I did it on purpose.”
Like “hey, person, just a heads up, please call me such n such instead of the other thing” That could just be me, I’m a sensitive guy, but I try to approach conversations with the sense that the other person doesn’t know me like I know me.