lastweakness

“Does it stink?”

What about high effort slop? Seems like a new category that’s growing unfortunately…

I could have a byte of you

Nice! Thanks! That takes me back a few years, really reminiscent of some older themes!

I don’t want another “debate”, but if you’re genuinely trying to converse, I can answer.

You kept insisting that it’s more useful to tell potential victims how to avoid being abused than to direct any advice at abusers here.

I already explained that:

Why isn’t the comment “Don’t access your exes shit after you break up no matter how angry you are”?

Going by numbers, wouldn’t there be more potential victims reading this than abusers? I also don’t think a potential abuser is going to look at that comment and do anything meaningful with it. On the other hand, a potential victim could be more cautious.

Do you genuinely think an abuser would read a lemmy comment about how abuse is bad and just stop?

Now about victim blaming:

It’s his fault for abusing her.

Never said otherwise.

You are refusing to see how putting the onus on a victim is blaming them for being abused.

Because I’m not doing that. In fact, I wasn’t even the original commenter. I was just trying to understand how we interpreted things so differently.

As I said:

No one said the abusers shouldn’t be stopped. My point is, no one was advising “her”, but rather just lemmy. I interpreted that original comment as a general warning on a public forum to everyone. Maybe I was being generous with that interpretation, I don’t know.

That’s part of what is interesting to me about this, because you read that OC and pictured it being said to the victim (which would indeed be victim blaming). On the other hand, I read that as being a warning to “us”, as in the Lemmy community, and thought, “Oh yeah, good thing to keep in mind especially with how EVs can literally be controlled through an app now”. And that isn’t even a gender thing. To some extent, it’s not even a “crazy partner” thing, just a good security practice. I don’t know how OC intended it and I honestly don’t care because I’m more interested in our interpretations.

And see above for why I said this:

I do still think it would be the wrong place to try and prevent abusers as I explained in the last comment.

If you don’t realize how you’re twisting this, intentionally or not, I don’t have anything to say to you. Actually, I don’t have anything to say to you anyway… As I’ve already said, we’re on the same page on the important things, so I don’t know why you got so argumentative. Clearly, neither of us like abusers and both would like women to be treated better in this world. Just, please stop assuming malice. Life isn’t worth living like that.

Sure, maybe but everything else does and for me personally, this conversation does. But anyway, I realize I started to match your energy at some point, so sorry for that. It feels awful to have every word I say be twisted and for everything be turned into a “debate”, so at some point, I started reciprocating your style. Social media sucks and to be blunt, it’s because of people like you.

We could’ve just had an exploration of why we perceived the same sentence so differently, not just as different genders but also the way you seemed to process the comment as being towards the victim while I processed it as being towards the community here. Feels like something we could and should be thinking about in a medium like this. But anyway, I’ll just go back to having normal conversations with people in my life and one-off comments for a while. Every attempt at a conversation here is someone’s excuse for a “debate”. I’m sure you’ll reply with something snarky and assume you’ve “won”. I just wish it wasn’t like that. “To a Kinder World”, as one of my favorite episodes of television, is titled.

Yep, you still keep claiming that I said things I never actually did. Like I also already said, calm down and read what I actually said. About misandry, your comment/post history and modlog say enough. This conversation just solidified that impression is all. Tends to happen when you straight up lie about what is going on in a conversation. Oh, wait, it was a “debate” for you, right? Well, good luck, your insane accusations are not worth anyone’s time.

Ohh this is nice. What’s that icon theme?

Anything but 5 seconds of introspection or thought, I see. But yes, keep going, keep twisting the narrative. Misandry at its finest. Did your ex-husband cheat on you or something? Was that a tipping point that made you hate all men? I have to ask because clearly, you’re willing to abandon all reason to hate. To me, it sounds like you need therapy pretty badly. But again, you would need to introspect for that, which is not really your strong suite.

Yep, just the kind of response I would expect from you.

Don’t worry, I was the only victim in this conversation but I guess I do blame myself for trying to talk like a normal human being with you. Damn, look at me, victim blaming already. Btw, maybe consider not assuming malice in every conversation? But hey, I don’t expect that from you at this point. You’re probably going to label me a mysogynist instead lol.

The wrong place to try to prevent abusers, but the perfect place to advise potential victims to change their behavior lest an abuser take advantage? Double standards.

I mean, we could discuss the actual facts around what I’ve already described but I now see you aren’t here for that, my bad.

in debates like this

Never was a debate for me, but sure. I’m starting to see a pattern here. It’s fine, we expected different things from this conversation. You’re trying to “prove” something, and I’m trying to understand something. Anyway, take care

As all the Abrahamic gods have taught us ❤️

Hmmm, you know, I think you’re being way too aggressive and making false equivalences. No one said the abusers shouldn’t be stopped. My point is, no one was advising “her”, but rather just lemmy. I interpreted that original comment as a general warning on a public forum to everyone. Maybe I was being generous with that interpretation, I don’t know. I do still think it would be the wrong place to try and prevent abusers as I explained in the last comment.

Obviously, abusers should be stopped, that’s why there are ongoing legal proceedings for the Tesla case (which is what the article is all about). But you need to calm down and read what I’m saying. I think we’re in agreement on the important bits here anyway. I’m mostly just curious about how we interpreted his comment so differently.

Would you advise her to wear pants from now on because a dress makes it too easy for a man to rape her?

This, for example, is a comparison that would never cross my mind in this instance since, from my perspective, his comment was not a conversation with the victim at all or even meant for them. So it registers in my mind as being completely different from the rape scenario.

You mean the A.I. in charge.

It only works to shame the victim and say “I told you so” after the fact.

You’d be right if he was talking to the woman, but he’s not. So I don’t see how that makes sense. I guess better framing could have helped, maybe? Or maybe it’s a difference in how different people view social media platforms like Lemmy, just a difference in how comments are interpreted I guess. Text is a terribly limited medium for conversation, after all.

Why isn’t the comment “Don’t access your exes shit after you break up no matter how angry you are”?

Going by numbers, wouldn’t there be more potential victims reading this than abusers? I also don’t think a potential abuser is going to look at that comment and do anything meaningful with it. On the other hand, a potential victim could be more cautious.

Is it? I think there are times where I’ve thought “yeah the actual problem here is obvious and well-understood, but let me just remind people of something important/useful”. Reading that comment, I never would have thought, “Oh he’s blaming the victim for granting access to her car”. Could be wrong and maybe I assume too much good will on this platform.

I mean, these EVs introduce a whole new problem of remote access, something new to be careful about… So that’s what I immediately thought of, but ah well.

I’m confused. What is the distinction between victim blaming and warning others to be cautious? Taken at face value, I think it makes sense that giving parental controls to your car is a bad idea. Would be weird to blame the victim but I don’t see him doing that? Maybe I’m missing some English-specific conversational nuance here, since it’s not my first language?

Regarding the case itself, it seems that the woman didn’t actually grant the controls herself and he somehow got it? Does Tesla not have limited driver profiles that you can give to your partner? We don’t have Teslas around here, so I’m curious about what happened there. Is the Tesla app that poorly engineered?

You also wouldn’t get caught even if you used it irresponsibly…

Lumo Max uses GLM and Lumo Lite uses Qwen. Both hosted Proton’s servers.