What’s that term? “pre-existing condition”.

Quiet microwave gang. Took a while to find the instructions and can only be done when it’s first plugged in on mine.

You can set it for an extra second so you don’t feel bad about stopping it “early”

Then you’d have to worry about micro plastics.

Without flaw unless it gets flipped on its back.

What would stop the IRS from sending federal agents arresting people on the streets

I thought they fired all of them?

Uh huh. He’s got A LOT of catching up to do.

Art of the deal.

And Dr. Pepper

It’s easier just to buy my air from O’Hare Air.

Someone’s 3d printer making spaghetti in the background.

Y’all have trees?

Because the kidnapping was going to be on the up and up?

What’s one more broken law in the grand scheme of things?

Body armor is pretty heavy isn’t it? I don’t think he has the muscle to carry him plus any protection.

I know I will.

But I just read the other month he’s got the same height/bmi as those NFL players?

Times 100

This fucker is like an IRL Michel Scott

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t know where it’s going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.”

“powered off”

Unless I’m holding the battery in one hand and the phone in the other I don’t trust it being turned off either.