As Warren Buffett might quip: only buy what you’d hold if markets closed for a decade

And once again the conservative sandiwch-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

The whole thing has a vaguely ex-catholic vibe where sin is simultaneously the result of evil actions on earth and also something that’s inherently part of your soul as a human being because dumb woman ate an apple. As someone who was raised in the church to a degree it never felt unreal and actually resonated pretty hard, but also yeah it doesn’t make a lot of sense logically.

This is why I only hang out with groups like “terrible shit” or “bunch of self-satisfied assholes”. This has worked only to my advantage so far.

The quote that sticks in my head is

You are not expected to believe any of this stuff, but rather to believe in the predatory utility of saying it.

Man, I can’t hear the “anti-human” line as anything other than straight Alex Jones shit. Because the enemy wants to massively depopulate the earth in order to serve their satanic master, who is the literal devil.

I would not have pronounced that as Artifact is all I’m saying. Not nearly as apt given that the actual evidence of this project seems to have vanished in exchange for saving the grifters some money.

Rat fucked is still an apt name, to be sure.

I mean, if you’re talking specifically in context about people with vaginas instead of women then using the gendered term does exclude both women without vaginas and men with them who are probably a relevant group in that context. But seriously how often does that come up for you? How often is the most important part of the woman you’re referring to her anatomy?

And while “females” is probably just as accurate in most contexts it’s also been poisoned with incel vibes at this point and it’s gonna be some time before it can be salvaged for general use outside of specific biological contexts without sounding like you’re about to unload a whole lot of baggage into the thread instead of getting therapy.

Not gonna lie, “enforcing the line between ketchup and tomato sauce” isn’t the sort of thing I’d expect the government to be into, but I guess I’m not mad about it?

I’m pretty sure based on the structure of the deal between the Onion and the Connecticut families this basically guarantees that the families (and any other creditors I guess) take home less money. Given the amount of money that they’re owed from the Connecticut judgement those families are basically 95% of the beneficiaries of this sale, and the original deal with the Onion had them giving up a huge chunk of what they could be entitled to in order to make sure that the Texas families (who were victimized in the same way but weren’t part of the same suit and got a much lower reward from a Texas court) got $100,000 more than they would have under the next-best offer. So in order for this to end up being a gain the next-best bid would need to either be so high that giving up $1.5 billion wouldn’t be enough to exceed what the Texas families would get, or else it gives the other bidder the ability to cut their bid to basically nothing and in turn reduce the amount that the Connecticut families forgo and the amount the Texas families take home by however much they want.

This is all amateur analysis, but short of rejecting the Connecticut/Onion bid outright for some reason I don’t think there’s any way that this doesn’t put the families in a worse spot. Instead whoever is behind the FUAS bid (widely believed to be Jones’s allies) may get to decide how much to screw the families over.

Edit to fix some numbers. What’s $1,498.5 billion between friends?

There’s a certain spirit of online debate about trivial or nonsensical things like this that can best be understood as happening purely for the sport of it.