I use my own modem and my own router with XFinity.

Get your own gateway. Don’t rent theirs.

Criminal

Pee when you have the chance.

Not true. If the times were shorter you would still be able to pick up liquids.

He argued in federal court today that members of native American tribes are not citizens.

What’s the letter “t” for?

Is that Santa giving head to an elf? Nice.

Granted. All houses are now 18sq ft and only available in cities where all jobs require you to clock in at 5AM and clock out at midnight.

As you celebrate your 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th anniversary and witness the heat death of the universe, you realize that all matter and energy has dispersed, is no longer observable, and that you and your beloved will be floating in a void of nothingness forever.

Accepted. I for one welcome our new reptiloid overlords.

Donald Trump bumps his head and wakes up as an objective and rational person willing and capable of acting for the good of his country and the world instead of his own unintelligent, narcissistic ways.

Pee in snow

There’s a fuel distributor near me named “Just Oil (and more!)”

Seriously though. If they aren’t just selling the hotdogs, what ELSE are they doing with the hotdogs. Seems like it could be inappropriate.

Now THAT’S a horse cock.

Blocking a road doesn’t affect anyone’s supply lines enough to affect any change. If it did there would be much harsher laws and penalties when some fuckhead is on their phone and gets in an accident disrupting traffic flow.

What’s the difference between my ex wife and an onion?

I might actually shed a tear if I chopped up the onion.