Why can’t I upvote and downvote this comment

Thanks for explaining. There is a lot of conflicting information out here - do you have any sources for where I can learn more?

See my response to feebleneedle. No port forwarding limits connections

Were you using a VPN at the time? I was under the impression that the issue is at standard anything involving ports just doesn’t work with a VPN because it would be trying to get to the port on the VPN, which the VPN would rightly refuse unless you’d set it up to forward that port

Do you know where I can learn more about this? That’s a pretty important detail to be as glossed over as it is in this community

Doesn’t that completely defeat the purpose of using a VPN?

Mullvad is great if privacy is your only metric, but it’s not unique in that respect and no port forwarding is a serious limitation in this context. I’ve been looking into alternatives and AirVPN and OVPN both look reputable.

See my response to feebleneedle. It works, but it’s not just that it’s slower. Port forwarding is important for the health of the community.

AirVPN and OVPN are options that seem to be of similar integrity to Mullvad.

I think it’s both? I’m assuming you get fewer seeds you can connect to as well.

Either way, seeding issues are leeching issues, in the grand scheme of things.

Edit: I only stress the seed side because I’ve found I get things plenty fast even with Mullvad, so not explaining the issue and just talking about down speed can make it seem unnecessary, when it is in fact critical to the health of the community.

Without port forwarding you can only connect to those who do have it set up. Doing so yourself allows you to be a better citizen of the internet and share with people who don’t know what it is.

(Caveat: I am one of those people who don’t understand it and am just parroting what was explained to me when I asked about this)

And so it is that Moth through subversion becomes Lantern

I guess you could say OP’s wording was a bit rude (stylistically, not in substance, imo). Personally I’d go with a “No, sorry.” or “Sorry, in a rush!” if on the move, and leave it at that as elaboration leaves the door open for them to pry. Either way the question is about whether it’s rude to refuse, not whether the specific example was.

Personally, I’d rather assume OP is chatting/providing more context rather than fishing for sympathy. Many of the comments that say it is rude also say but not if it’s a rando, which it was.

Sometimes people use that question rhetorically because it feels polite, viewing it as a small talk precursor to ease in to actually just saying what they want.

I don’t like when people use it as such, because it is insincere, poor consent practice, and low-key manipulative due to the foot in the door phenomenon .

There are tons of legitimate reasons to not be comfortable with the question. Don’t have time, bad headspace, don’t feel comfortable… If they can’t understand that, I try not to care what they think of me.

Assume they’re asking because they want to make sure it’s not imposing, in which case it’s good to assert boundaries you need too. If they push it was just a manipulation tactic, in which case you’re more than justified in walking.

Glad to hear it! Honestly I find almost everything just works. I often forget that things are supposedly Windows only.

Doesn’t work with proton?

Humans do indeed contain multitudes, but I think this gives too much credit to the influence of corporate (and their political interference) interests. Enshittification is an active choice made in board rooms. Disinformation is an agenda. They’re not inevitable grassroots outgrowths.

Lemmy, curated to avoid AI, curtail corporate news, and where the admins and community are fighting bots and trolls is an example of the reclamation attempt.

And you know what? It’s kinda nice here.

As someone who went with the Mullvad suggestion despite having heard about port forwarding, I think a big part of why is because whenever it comes up people don’t take the time to explain why port forwarding is important. Until I asked in this thread the only thing I’d seen is some vague handwaving about it being faster.

I’ve only just dipped my toes in so maybe this is off base, but the community seems to have an elitism problem. If the people who know are dismissive of ignorant noobs who want to learn, the long term health of the community suffers for it.

Maybe sometimes you gotta shitpost the shitpost with sincerity. Maybe sometimes you don’t particularly care about loss references. Maybe it’s Maybelline. I don’t think we’ll ever know.

It’s a “fantasy football” miniatures/board game, except by fantasy I mean orcs and elves. There’s a lot of violence.

Mechanically it’s about positioning and risk management. Like chess, but the pieces are asymmetrical, unbalanced by design, and wildly incompetent. But it’s ok you don’t have to do probability math because “haha funny sports man trips on his feet just before the endzone, then dies” is all you need to understand to appreciate it as a spectator sport.