Okay, it’s good to have a laugh every once in a while, but I think we’re all able to interpret their message clearly: If you try to steal golf balls, they will remove your testicles. C’mon people, grow up!

I will never forget it, nor pilsner beer.

I’m glad to know that. Czechia is a great contributor to world culture.

I swear to God, if they come for weighted blankets too, there will be blood, and most of it won’t be mine.

On a side note, it’s nice to meet a Czech person here. I made the mistake of visiting Prague once, and I’ve been craving knedliky and gulash, fernet stock, and Alphonse Mucha art ever since.

Follow it with skibidi toilet.

Fill me with sweet sugary goodness.

Go inside and find out.

I’m right here. What do you want?!

Is this an inside joke I’m not getting?

This is why I have my jeans starched and pressed. You don’t know where I’m coming from. Outlying data point FTW

What’s the deal with Jesse Eisenberg?

Yeah, but that’s a future people problem. We’ve got only a few years left. Our immediate family is set for life, if not multiple generations. What more could we want? [Speaking from the imagined perspective of oligarchs]

Ah, well, that would do it. Racism for the win? Pardon me while I go be sick.

How did Kentucky elect a progressive governor, and the narcissistic chaos goblin as president?

I hope you’re right, but he would be the first to do so in a very long time.

It probably goes without saying at this point, but deporting someone to a culture in which they’re not competent is wildly immoral, and doing so in such a way that they end up encarcerated in subhuman conditions especially despite not committing a crime in that jurisdiction is monstrous.

[Staggers back covered in a mixture of charred flesh and lukewarm viscera]

“It does not work.”

Amen. The truest repairman will repair man.

Right after they started offering espresso and their signature cinnamon biscotti.