Come on now, you guys are the real celebrities!

Hey, I know her, I’m pretty sure she’s in that one movie I watched!

If there was only some way to make any attempts at building an accurate profile of one’s online presence via data scraping completely useless by masking one’s own presence within the vast quantity of online data of someone else, let’s say for example, a famous public figure.

But who would do such a thing?

If you think Ernest Cline’s movie is cringy, wait until you read his poetry. Absolutely one of the worst piece of writing I’ve ever read.

And it only gets worse from there.

Pssh. Celebrities on social media, who needs them anyway.

A while ago, I had A LOT of free time to shitpost on social media, and I was beginning to miss it.

I don’t have as much time anymore. 😭

Like I always say, it’s not astroturfing if you don’t get caught!

You’re welcome, Agent641.

Also, that’s esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie to you!

It’s not like we wear makeup as some devious plot to trick men and hide our real faces instead of you know, to look good for ourselves. Besides, I don’t think I look that different without makeup, sometimes people just ask if I didn’t sleep well last night if I don’t.

Anyway, if people really cared that much to see their favorite actress (me) without makeup, would you be interested in getting a copy of “Barbie”, now available on Blu-ray and select streaming services?

(and there’s “The Wolf of Wall Street” for the naked part.)

You probably never heard of it, but I shitpost on this obscure technology forum called Lemonworld or something on things I would never admit to in public.

It’s great, I’m something of a celebrity over there.

🥰

Yay

I’m an actress, not a jellyfish, you silly billy!

I think someone is really fishing for compliments here.

This smells a little bit fishy.

It’s pretty clear to me many people here have never either had general anesthesia or talked to anyone who had, you can’t really time funny one-liners right before you pass out.

Here’s how it works:

They’ll put a mask with a rubber tube in your mouth for oxygen, and tell you to relax and count back from 10, so you start counting impatiently(it’s boring, and there is nothing else to do), wondering when the surgery is going to start.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Now the anesthesiologist is in front of you, checking on you to see if you’re OK. “But I haven’t finish counting down yet, when is the surgery going to start?” You ask them.

“It’s already over”, they explain.

Then you realize you are in a completely different room, the tube is no longer in your mouth, but you feel so weak you can hardly move, and the stitches/staples around your new surgery wound is starting to itch.

It’s like a segment of your life was cut out and erased into nothingness.

I’m using my real name because I was here to virally promote a movie, just like all the other celebrities on reddit before.

It was a very successful promotion.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just your average Hollywood celebrity here to promote my new movie “Barbie”, only in theaters July 21st.

If you insist on trying to turn us all miserable and hateful again, then I think you should leave.

Time and time again, it has been proven that “absolute free speech” online just attracts the absolute worst kind of people.

I did expected them to fail immediately, but this is way funnier than I expected. They either need to start banning immediately and start throwing money at celebs to use Threads, otherwise no one mainstream will ever advertise there.

I had my entire Oscars Acceptance Speech all ready to go in 2018 for nothing. Stupid Frances McDormand.