A 50-something French dude that’s old enough to think blogs are still cool, if not cooler than ever. I also like to write and to sketch.

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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: June 4th, 2025

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  • You lost me at ‘Fuck’. As a potential new member, how could I be willing to engage in a community putting forward rudeness?

    I would suggest you may want to consider to calmly explain the issue at hand (my Lemmy feed is tightly curated and I do not think I noticed much of what you mention), without insulting anyone and without using doubtful dirty tricks to grab people’s attention, maybe sharing some real world examples?






  • I’m specifically asking if the person that expects someone else to apologize is driven by their own narcissism.

    Two things come to my mind:

    • It all depends the context.
      Context will tell if there is or there isn’t narcissism involved, which is more frequent than one would like to think imho. I would say it’s narcissistic when it’s used against someone else, to give oneself an edge against that person, to make them feel bad, or when it’s expected because one thinks they deserve apologies, something like that (it’s just raw thoughts). It’s not when apologies are expected not because one deserves them but because, the roles were switched, apologizing is what one would do if they had done something similar to someone else .
    • Apologies are never a single person action, a single direction act.
      I mean, apologies are always at the same time received and given, given and received. It’s an interaction between at least two persons (or one person and the entire civil society, in the case of most criminal affairs: they’re public for a reason). It’s never a monologue… or it should not be, if it is to mean something. Whereas narcissism is all about the self: it’s Narcissus admiring its own image in the water, considering nothing but himself.

    So, a sincere apology is always something bidirectional, and not about oneself. It’s a tool used to create/reinforce/fix a weakened or a broken bound between two or more people.



  • I did that in the journaling community I mod. During 6 months or so I posted almost daily, then weekly content. I had to put it on hold for the last few months. But I had very little feedback all that time. After I put in on hold, at first there was no activity going on at all. Then, a few posts were created, and other members commented. There is still not much going on but it was nice to see nonetheless. Hope to see more :)

    The real odd thing for me is that we gained a lot of new members (when I relaunched the community, there was probably less than 200 members, we’re more than 900 today), and still almost no one is posting. Not sure why.



  • Besides bars and clubs, how does a guy put himself around more women?

    Hobbies should be a good starting point. With a caveat.

    I’m into sketching/watercolors and I can tell you I constantly meet people (women and men) that are into the same hobby.

    We can meet by accident at the art store, or at gatherings, expo (or class), or by just being on the same spot at the same time painting the same thing (I live in Paris, we have many nice spots for painters). More often than not, these women are quite happy to spend some time sharing a genuine common interest without constantly having to worry about anything happening.

    Because, as far as I’m concerned, and that’s the caveat I mentioned, I don’t expect anything else to happen when I meet someone who is into the some hobby as I am. I don’t do that to meet women (or men). I do that because I enjoy sketching and watercolors (like I enjoy playing chess) and I don’t give a fuck about women being there or not. But I’m also always happy to meet someone interesting. I don’t know if this makes sense? It kinda makes sense to me ;)

    And btw, through that common hobby, I meet women (and men) from all age and from all conditions. Not just 50+ old farts (like I’m) but also quite many that are barely in their 20s, or even less. And barely any of them were drunk… so far :p

    edit: typos


  • What do you think about that?

    I think that what I believe in is what I believe in, not what I expect other people should also believe in. I’m a not a priest or some cult leader expecting blind devotion and submission from others. People are more than welcome to (dis)agree with me and my values.

    I also think I should be free to believe in whatever I want, without anyone else feeling entitled to decide for me what I can & cannot believe. I’m fine with them trying to demonstrate I’m wrong, as long as their demonstration is not about publicly shaming or forcing me in any manner.

    BTW, this tendency you mention (to require others to act like we do), is the main reason I tend to steer away from any gathering/collective/org. Too many people can’t resist whatever tiny little bit of power they get their hands on and they will abuse it.


  • It feels pretty weird to me that people are almost programmed to recommend Therapy or Gym as the ultimate solutions.

    Depression is too vague to recommend anything. And then, a lot of people will call depression them just feeling depressed… it’s complicated.

    I’m not much into therapist myself, but physical activity is the one thing that allowed me to get over a decade+ long depression that almost got me killed. More specifically, daily walks.

    So, yeah, if I’m discussing potential solutions with someone and I see they are not much into gym already, I will suggest they give it a shot.

    Despite the fact that not all people are capable of doing both.

    Sure but also don’t forget ‘physical activity’ doesn’t mean running a marathon or lifting weight. It means using one’s body as much as this body allows.

    When I started walking, I was barely able to walk at all. Not exaggerating, It would take me hours if not days to rest from the effort (and the pain) of getting the mail at our door. It was even worse to go buy a fresh baguette (yep, I’m French ;) at the bakery at the corner of our street. For that I would spend a lot of time preparing for this huge effort and then would I would spend the rest of the day lying down, resting, exhausted. There are worse situations than mine, obviously, but you get the idea: I was in a real bad shape. Nowadays, a few years later? I walk miles every single day. And those days when I can’t walk? I feel like an absolute shit.

    And it all started by deciding to walk a few more steps. Not much, really.

    I’m still not an athlete and I’m still chronically ill (no cure available) but I’m also in such a better physical condition it’s night and day. Even the specialists that are taking care my medical issues where floored to see the change, back then. Two of them even asked me to start talking to some patients so I could encourage them to endure the least… pleasant parts of our condition, by doing some physical activities.