I’m afab (and obviously queer, lmao) and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.
Basically I’m comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I’ve got in my pants. I’ve felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it’s not a phase or a fetish, it’s how I’ve wanted to present sexually for most of my life.
Does this disconnect I’m talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?
Are there any other people here who feel this way?
(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn’t look right (to me) when it heals, it isn’t functional how I would want it to be, and it isn’t sensitive like a dick.)
I’d say it fits the definition of “dysphoria”, even if you don’t think it’s necessarily gender dysphoria.
My understanding is that: when a trans person looks in the mirror or sees pictures of themselves, and there’s a mismatch between “what they see” vs. “what they feel” – that unpleasant feeling is what’s meant by “dysphoria”. For a transgender person, that feeling could be all or partly about their genitals (masturbating or having sex with “wrong” genitals can make you feel dysphoric), but not necessarily.
Abigail Thorn (a trans YouTuber and philosophy expert) has argued that “gender dysphoria” is a misnomer, and something that cis people also experience. Watch a couple of minutes from this timestamp: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1eWIshUzr8&t=3886s
She also brings up “body dysmorphia”, so maybe that’s another one for you to google (although she argues that it’s basically the same thing).
Thank you for replying! I definitely have body dismorphia, you’re right on that.
Cis folk definitely have gender dysphoria, it’s why they’ve boxed themselves into gendered roles so thoroughly. Calling stuff gender affirming when cis people do it makes the bigots twitch, which can be quite funny.
I’ve watched quite a few of Abigail’s videos over the years but I kinda soured on her when she tried talking about veganism, she ended up saying that she couldn’t go vegan because her cultural and family meals were more important to her so she didn’t want to think about it. Which she admitted was a very privileged view to have but it still kinda annoyed me.
This rant is off topic, sorry. Her talks about everything else are usually really good and I appreciate the recommendation! I have a lot of painting to do later, so I’ll put this one on.