I’m mad that this had to be tackled by cities and states when the issue is a bipartisan slam-fucking-dunk. Were I in Congress, I’d be racing to get a bill on the floor, daring anyone to vote against it and beating my chest as a champion of working families.

Here’s the bill:

“The practice of using personal data and algorithms to offer different people different prices for the same goods or services is illegal. There is no monetary fine for such practices. The leadership of any company engaging in such practices will be hung upside down, cut open and strangled with their own intestines.”

Some people will unsarcastically be supportive of this. I just don’t understand this shit.