• Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    In my restaurant, I make all my female employees withstand uncomfortable sexual advances from me. I have lawsuits out the ass!

          • Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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            16 hours ago

            Ok, well, in that case, I’ll take three mega bogus burgers with the twist melt nine times outta six, as well as a side of cheese fries, freaked not fried, and two cokes, one with cocaine in it the other diet, and if you could blend all that up and put it in my smoothie from this morning, I would be peaches, you crabcake dudzoltzer, you.

              • Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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                13 hours ago

                Nah, that’s free like the bag fries from Five Guys. That’s actually shit I love; little psychological tricks that manifest wealth for no reason besides [human condition]. Like, people disproportionately overvalue the free fries they throw in the bag, because they’re the fries they didn’t have to give you. That’s why my dick is ALWAYS whipped out between the hours of nine to five, and then during the night, I moonlight as a prostitute. I’m not good at it, but I really enjoy embarrassing myself in a slip on that corner.