I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (19f) for roughly a year and some change now. We met at a faculty game night at our university. She was 17 at the time and fresh off the boat and the minute I saw her I knew I wanted her in my life. Things stayed casual for a few months until she turned 18 and I asked her out on a few dates, she said yes. And things became official two months after our first date. She was very forthcoming about her heart condition (type 2 long QT syndrome) and at the time I thought I could handle it. I’d done some basic research and it seemed manageable. But like I said basic research and I had assumed she had type 1 not type 2. But anyway, I convinced her to move in with me four months into the relationship; I received the apartment we live in currently as inheritance from an elderly relative who passed right before I graduated high school, so no rent. I wanted her close to me and I knew she would have a hard time finding private accommodation as an international student. Plus I knew she’d need a roommate anyway because of her health and the thought of her living with a random person made me uncomfortable. Moving on, we started getting intimate about two months after we moved in together. The first time was rocky to say the least but I had assumed it was because it was her first time, her ICD went off twice and I had to give up mid shift. But after the first few times it became clear that she can’t handle more than basic positions and occasionally light choking, and I need much, much more than that. I thought I could compromise because there’s nothing else wrong with the relationship. She’s pretty, neat, smart, meticulous with tasks, incredibly likeable and genuinely pleasant to be around. But our sex life is genuinely bothering me. And I don’t want to just go out and cheat on her.
Yes.
But you should break up so she can find someone reasonable. Has porn rotted your brain?
Choking is a common sex thing these days? Sucks for her since she would have to move out of sweet deal but it’s hard to see this going anywhere good since you need a bunch of positions to get off and it might kill her if she tries them
YTA, dude everything you mentioned was only for you to get your way and nothing you said took into consideration what she wanted. Sure she doesn’t pay rent, but it was only so she wouldn’t move in with someone else. You’re talking like she’s broken, please leave her so you don’t waste any more of her time.
A year is long term?
It is for some.
Yes. Absolutely. WTF
Lay off the porn
What the fuck is up with choking?
Eww yes you are an asshole.
YTA
You sped things up for very selfish reasons. Making her move in with you before having sex and knowing that this part of the relationship is important to you was unnecessary risky and makes things now more complicated than they had to be.Let her go so she can find someone that matches her better.
And general rule of thumb: if the only positive things I can say about a person are related to how they interact with or affect me and none that are actually about that person, it may be not a good time to move in. Your description reads like how I describe a good coworker…Yes she deserves better than you
Choking? What the fuck?
YTA. If you’re going to end it, ffs don’t tell her this is the reason.
Yes
Communicate your concerns with her and have a discussion. Its weird that you forced her to move in after 4 months. Dating is not a commitment to stay together forever, however, if you still want to be with her, perhaps masturbation or a sex worker can be a compromise.





