Welcome again to everybody. Make yourself at home. In the time-honoured tradition of our group, here is the weekly discussion thread.
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In what way was that reactionary?
Edit: Hoping for things to happen has no effect whatsoever on reality. Those events happened to me, and the lack of compassion I constantly see here does sometimes make me fantasize about stuff like this happening to people who hurt me. That’s all.
I’m not a mod and can’t speak to the reason, but since you’re asking, I read the log and I will say I don’t quite understand where you’re coming from. Reads like wishing harm on others because they don’t “respect” you and you perceive this disrespect as inherently elitist. Which sounds odd to me even from the standpoint of assuming you have reason to believe that people are for sure being intentionally disrespectful in an elitist way. Disrespect can be hurtful but it’s not on its own violent oppression, nor will random events of harm coming to oppressors get them to change their ways. The oppressor’s position of oppressor is much more determined by their material conditions and being distraught won’t necessarily change their participation in it.
Also, to this part:
I’m not sure if you mean “here” as in where you live or “here” as in lemmygrad.
If you mean here as in lemmygrad, I would suggest bringing up specific examples, either to mods/admins in private, or publicly. Because it can’t be properly addressed if it’s not pinpointed as an issue.
I am on welfare because of mental illness. When people dismiss the struggles of people like me, they claim I don’t deserve welfare. Do you think the stigma against us is gone? Do you even know how difficult it is to get on disability? Most people think we are just lazy and drug addicts. My material interests rest on the welfare state, and I have the right to defend myself and my interests. What is “inherently elitist” is the fact that people consider us, schizophrenics, bipolar, or autism doesn’t matter, to be lazy or blame our problems on a moral falling on our part.
It is when it threatens my ability to live.
Are there people here dismissing those struggles or are you talking about elsewhere? I’m still not clear on that.
I do actually. That is, in one capitalist context (the US).
To be honest, it’s mostly an old grudge I hold on a few users, one in particular. I should move on for sure, but they often post, and it’s always a reminder. I love lemmygrad and I keep coming back. But I just wish they knew how much they hurt me when I was at one of the lowest point in my life. As for them dismissing my problems, one person said I lacked discipline, which is not true, and it angers me every time I think about that insult. In the end, I am very scared of losing my disability benefits. Especially because, in general, a lot of people nowadays are against us and want to remove these welfare programs.
It’s hard to speak on the incident without knowing in detail how it went down, but it sounds like there was a lack of understanding of the challenges you face. And to that kind of issue, all I can say is, with the executive functioning struggles I have, I know something of what it’s like for people to be kind of poor in their understanding of it, to put it nicely. My experience with that kind of thing on lemmygrad has been good overall, so it surprises me that you ran into such a thing. Over two years of therapy (and lucky I was in a position I could even get therapy) helped me a little bit with my struggles, I’d estimate most in the area of being more loving toward myself and more aware of my emotions, but there’s still a lot I struggle with.
Anyway, not to wax on about my own problems. Point is, I can somewhat relate. Your fear is very understandable and I hope it doesn’t come to that.
And to the conflict that happened, maybe you could consider either messaging the user privately about it and telling them how it hurt your feelings, or perhaps reach out to a mod or admin and see if they’re willing to act as a mediator to help bring it up with this user if you don’t feel you’re in a place where you want to confront it alone. Figuring out how to let the resentment go is also an option, but if you have reason to believe you think they will re-offend, so to speak, it may be worth addressing for that reason alone. If you do choose to say something, just remember to try to keep the focus on how it made you feel (as opposed to starting with an accusation) and be ready for the fact that the best you may get out of it is knowing you bravely confronted it (they may not give the response you want). It’s not healthy if we have resentments going on here that remain unresolved. It makes it harder for us to be connected and work things out. Don’t think I’m saying this like I think it’s easy though. One of my biggest failings is not confronting things sufficiently.
Either way, take care.