Mine is porn addiction. I don’t ever want to become a coomer but I think I’ve became that already a few times in my life. I shamefully have watched porn, saved porn images and visualized people who’re probably not as into porn as I was.
I really do wish to be done with porn, it’s done nothing for me. I’ve masturbated for many years and I feel like it has hollowed out my mind. I don’t even get that much enjoyment from masturbating as much and the porn hasn’t really gotten any better so I guess I can say that I’ve seen porn when it was at its best when I was younger and everything.
Now all of it is just loli shit, artificial shit and that’s gross or the fetishes have gotten too niche and unappealing. I look around me in porn communities and I haven’t found anyone worthwhile to speak to or associate with. Everyone is six feet under in porn that there’s no way for them out.
I wish I had the willpower to stop wasting days in front of my PC and go out more, but it always feels impossible, no close friends, no car, live in a small town with an average age that’s probably in the 50s. All I do is go to work and come home to sit in my room. I also hate talking to new people over voice chat (and it takes me some time to warn up to someone when only talking over text) so I don’t do much socialising when sitting at home. I’ve been thinking of moving to a bigger city but that’s a whole other can of worms and doesn’t fix my ability to hold conversions past pleasantries
I feel for you and I hope you can figure out a way to work on it! Therapy and pushing myself to socialize even when I don’t want to has helped me.
I joined a crafts group with my therapist solely for practicing socialization. It helps a lot more than I thought it would. I’m no artist, but it doesn’t matter for this.