it has been incredibly cold for the past 4 days, but thankfully i have new clothes so it hasn’t been very bad in practice
Mostly miserable. Two people commented on my attire today though. That made me feel good.
I’m not doing well. Extremely upset due to politics and unsure how to manage my feelings of dread and inaction. I need to do something, but I don’t know what.
Might organize a protest some time soon. Never done that before.
Hi, its been a gazillion years since I was last on this platform but I hope you’ve all been doing well.
This week I have been doing some self reflecting due to politics, and I am trying to figure out how to get involved in my local community. Currently starting off small by finishing my high school diploma after a decade, and seeing if I can help my fellow classmates out with the resources I know about. Since they’re also all in similar situations with educational and financial issues, I have been collecting resources on things like digital literacy, sexual health, financial planning sites, and local food banks.
I am also thinking of conquering my fear of meeting my ex in-laws and going to the local LGBTQ drop in, but that will have to wait a few weeks. Got too many appointments.
Other than that, I started talking to my friends again after dealing with social anxiety caused by being “chronically offline” for once. Since I am studying now, I need to work on my school-life balance too.
I’m focusing on myself right now. I know that my difficulties with executive function make it hard to accomplish a lot of things my values would require of me, so I’m trying to focus on self-care as defiance. Being trans, alive and happy is a small victory in itself.
Pretty stressful, I am in the midst of exams which are a major source of anxiety for me. It’s hopefully the second to last exam phase, and I really don’t want to prolong my study even further. So I have to at least pass the two that are left. Which hasn’t really been an issue in the past, but I have been postponing exams where I wasn’t satisfied with my preparation which is part of the reason that I am studying so much longer than anticipated. I just need to push through.
On the upside, I will be so relieved when this is over. I bought a bike last year and can’t wait to go on extended trips with it again as soon as the weather gets warmer here in Germany.
Rough one. On the market in Academia. Got 4 rejections in a row. Like within minutes of each other. Gut punch and soul sucking.
That’s really rough. I know how much it can grind you down to be rejected again and again like that. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best, human to human.
Just found out I might need to attend my girlfriends grandmother’s funeral, but she didn’t really know her very well so we’re both kinda like damn thats awkward. Anyone know how to mentally check out around a bunch of distraught people?
I don’t want to be sad but I tend to get like…empathy for people. Lol that wording is horrible but I hope it makes sense.
I feel bad but like…I don’t want to be sad either lol. Does this make sense?
Sorry to hear about her grandmother. It’s typically not fun going to funerals, and it sucks to feel bad when feeling good or even just level is hard to do these days. This isn’t an answer to your question, but rather a “I think I understand how you feel, sorta” thing. This empathy you speak of is why I couldn’t end up going to one of my best friend’s funeral today (…aside from the fact that it’s a very expensive plane ride away). I would likely fall apart if I was around his family, and that feels weird for me because I never met them. His dad reached out to me to tell me the sad news, and while I’m still devastated and processing it all, I don’t know exactly why I feel uncomfortable with going. Maybe it would hurt more, dunno. Sorry, friend.
Weed.
Good! Unfortunately I found out that sleeping outside isn’t possible in the mountains so I cut my stay there and got to Valencia. I hope that weather here will be better for camping so I will save on accommodation.
For now I have rode just 500km so about 9500 still to go…
pretty alright so far! i’ve been busy but the workload should be light for the rest of the week. also i get a break next week which is nice [:
Kinda poorly, I broke a dental filling and had to pay around $450 to fix it.
I am mad that the people who could help with this fascist regime seem willing to tuck their heads down and do “self care.” I wake up every morning now to see what rights have been taken away—I wake up in agony.
I can’t tuck my head down. I can’t change my skin color to one acceptable to these people. I am intersex and can’t change that I look androgynous and queer in all clothing. I am leaving the house with my passport in my pocket just in case. I can’t pee in a public restroom without threat. It doesn’t matter how kind I am, how conscientious, I’m subhuman to these people.
Please if you have a conscience defend the targets of this administration and MAGA ideology. It starts with you. Please don’t let us be abused in silence. Prevent security guards or literally random men from attempting to “verify” genitalia, call out your unhinged families or at least remove your children from their influence.
It must feel so nice to ignore the evil around you, warm in the knowledge that you’re safe. Wake up, Elon felt safe and supported in his decision to sieg heil twice on national television. I have eyes, you have eyes, yet the media waffles on about “strange gestures” or “awkward movements.”
I am tired of speaking gently to you, the white American. You are failing every time an ICE raid separates a child from their parents and no one yelled “la migra” so that they could have a few minutes to plan to find each other. Every time. You can pretend it’s not that bad, but history will remember you differently.
We sneer at the German populace who fell in under the Nazis. Most Germans did NOT attempt to help, save, or shelter their Jewish neighbors.
Sinclair Lewis said “When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”
It’s hard to feel like me as a singular person can do much is this ocean of horrifying things. I even find my kindness and empathy wearing thin - all in the name of “they voted for this crap and now I will be dragged along”.
I remind myself to be kind, stand up for what is right, and do what I can. Which mostly involves contacting my congress people and representatives to also do the right thing for the people.
Every day is terrifying. Stay safe.
Little acts of protest is where to start. If you can impede, slow, or sabotage anything safely, do it. Happy to share ideas in a more secure environment but a few are taking the maximum allowable time on things, flooding emails with questions and always following up with more to tie up headspace and resources.
Little, safe, things. A leak in a dam, with enough pressure and time bursts.
I am trying to figure out what to do and still keep my queer kids safe as well. There are no easy and straightforward answers now.
It’s 0°F outside, feels like -18°F, but the dew point is -14°F so my Garmin watch is describing it as “pleasant.”
I feel like there’s some joke I’m missing.
My best friendship might be over, I don’t know. I thought about letting him drift off but my therapist convinced me to reach out. He said he doesn’t want to talk about it, and I asked if he means not tonight, or not all. He just said “I don’t know”.
I ain’t gonna pressure him, but that was his last chance.
I tried to make other friends, I joined this Meetup group I was really excited about. Waited ages for it. Had fun for the first several hours, and we were already talking about future events, and then it came up that they’re all conservative.
There’s very little else on Meetup and most of it has “sponsored by the church of Scientology” buried at the bottom of the text. I’ve just been trying to hit the gym and be productive around the house since then. Kinda sucks because I need to finish unpacking but I have so many gifts and mementos and photos with people who moved on.
You will meet your people.
This timeline makes things more complicated. Have patience and be kind to yourself.
Fourth Reich is definitely starting out pretty chilly!
One never suspects the Frozen Inquisition!
Got a nice snow storm overnight. Always fun when I don’t have to be anywhere.
We got a ton of snow today and for some reason my boss decided not to close the café I work at. We served fewer customers today (from 7:30 to 16:30) than we’d serve in an hour on a typical day.
All day the staff kept looking at him like “None of us wanted to come in and you’re just bleeding money, why are we doing this”
