I’m nonbinary femme. I don’t like masculine or male terms. A few days ago, I was on a group chat with someone and they said “this guy” and used “he/him” pronouns, not knowing my gender. I, however, told them not to address me as a guy and that I preferred neutral terms but was fine with feminine terms as well.
Yeah, not an asshole to draw clear boundaries about forms of address. It’s a known issue in the world, and it’s a social necessity in text formats to make such things known. Hell, it’s sometimes necessary in voice, video, or in person as well. Doing so isn’t asshole behavior. An individual may or may not be asshole about it, but the fact of doing it isn’t assholery.
Nor is being assertive about it assholery. Assertiveness definitely isn’t assholery on the first time establishing forms of reference. It can’t be. Aggressiveness could be, but not assertiveness.
So you’re in the clear on this one assuming the wau you presented it here is reasonably close to the way you presented it there