There are many buttons on my microwave. I have paid no attention to any of them but I know hitting the one at the bottom-right makes numbers go up by 30s per boop, while food go warm.

My microwave popcorn recipe is:

1. Put in
2. Boop liberally so you know it’s over 5 mins, probably 4–5 days
3. When popcorn pops average about one every 3s, start counting to five
4. If you reach five, serve

That’d be a great game. The entire neighbourhood is warfare. Cubby building, better sticks make for better guns, gotta make alliances with the right street, and make sure the kid with the fancy bike is on your side.

“Sir, we only have 20 mins to capture the park fort! I gotta go for dinner…”