Imagine being stuck behind the fog of a chainsmoking uncle for nearly four hours because you can’t overtake him

Like watching an old friend’s corpse being defiled for profit

Swimming’s really good for losing weight, no sweating and less knee pain involved. Wish I had a private pool too, you can definitely tell the public ones are 30% filled with piss.

He didn’t teach his cat anything, his cat trained him to remove shimmers on the screen