Who knows. I let her get away despite us being pretty close friends. I think about her, I regret ditching her, but then I remember that not ditching her would mean I’d have to explain why I changed my name and I’d rather suck off a polar bear. Cis name changes are worse than genocide.

Gray

They’d still manually go shopping instead of ordering online for literally the same price or a literally trivial higher amount. Like imagine going in person to buy toilet paper for one and a half dollars cheaper than buying online. Like bro you spent more than 1.5 USD in GAS or public transit going there bruh!

I normalized my crazy mother. Seems like everyone isn’t my crazy mother which is a good thing. I don’t wish my childhood on anyone. Imagine having the resources to live a better life and have more experiences, and NEVER getting them, and you’re not allowed to complain. Imagine being the stinky kid, and being unable to NOT be the stinky kid. You know why you’re stinky, but calling out your mother makes you spoiled and entitled.

I’m not, it’s just my childhood is so crazy that it seems like a joke. That family suffered so much when they didn’t need to. A relative spent her whole life suffering, and now she died from cancer. The most fun thing she did was play candycrush. That family’s mother is worse than I thought.

But honestly, it’s so validating that I suffered unnecessarily because of her. I’ve had the family and everyone say that I was the problem. I was the reason why I was a filthy kid who only showered with water. I was the reason why I had no lunch for school or juice at home. I was the reason why I’d come to school sick and spread the illness around.

They only saw the price tags on my clothes and assumed I chose those clothes. I never liked brand clothes, and if I had the choice, I’d get unbranded stuff and FUCKING BUY BODY WASH AND LUNCH INSTEAD! Like today! Where I NEVER run out of body wash! And I have something to drink all the time now that childhood is over and I CAN WORK! Fuck childhood. Thanks Amazon!

Slow.

I’m saying, Costco customers are moving slow as shit because the store is crowded. When they could just order online instead of buying a membership for the privilege of basically sitting in traffic with shopping carts.

You don’t NEED to pay yearly for Amazon prime. And at the time I made multiple accounts and used the free trial on each. AND gift cards from surveys apps.

Yeah, being spit on and manhandled by adults as a 7 year old kid every other day in “school” does that to you. You’re broke? But your shirt has a man on a horse! You’re rich and spoiled. How could you have ran out of soap months ago when you’re wearing a polo ralphy whatever shirt? Maybe get less Airopostale and buy soap, so easy!

Yeah, thing is, my mother would spend a couple of grands on stupid ugly brand clothes, while screaming at me to shut up about body wash and juice. It’s “why do you come to school smelling horrendous” AND “why do you think you deserve body wash when there are people who have nothing?”

Today I wear ZERO brands and I finally get to shower with soap, drink juice, and brush my teeth with toothpaste. Childhood is the worst part of life.

Cars are unnecessary money pits that can be replaced.

When you’re stuck in traffic, think about how that is normalized.

No I grew up neglected by family, abused in an institution, and dehumanized by society until I changed my name 3 years ago. I also hate cars.

No, just remembering horrible experiences. I hate that family and that family’s mother more.

I know that obviously. Those people aren’t doing that crazy shit. But they can make life easier with planned meals and an easy routine, why deliberately make your life harder?

And this just reminds me of how that fucking bitch took so much food from food banks and never used it ffs. Every Monday a church had an open pantry, that bitch forced everyone to go stand in line separately to get extra. I hated standing in lines so I’d spend every Monday at a library until 7pm and take the long way home for 2 hours. I never actually saw the pantry or what came from it, just the line.

I was abused and neglected as a kid. I had brand name clothes, but smelled bad and only ever ate top ramen and cup noodles. All of that wasted produce was that woman’s. DRINKS were never available. No juice, tea, etc. If I was thirsty I would pretend to shower or wash my hands and drink the bathroom water.

I was institutionalized for a disorder I never had. That woman lied to get me in the institution, and they made me stagnate and regress. I’ve only lived 3 years of my 27 year life. No one believed I was neglected because mommy is rich and I have clothes with old men’s names on them. They’d assume the 8 year old kid is at fault for having no lunch, no signed permission slips, bad BO, filthy hair, etc. Like I chose to be that way. How can I be suffering when my shirt says Abercrombie? Neglect from rich parents is horrendous.

I couldn’t buy my own body wash until I started doing paid surveys at 15 years old (lied my age on PayPal and the site) and dog sitting at 17 on wag & rover. Before that, I used to steal the trial sizes and stretch them as long as I could.

So I’m fighting CPTSD and trying to cut ties and move out. Praise Amazon.

They agree with that family’s mother.

Honestly in my area cyclists are hated more than Osama bin Laden so I can sort of relate to it being unsafe. I know being in a car would be way worse for my mental health though. Do what’s safe and easiest, and never forget what car companies stole from you. Cars ruined your city, so big companies can get more money. Big companies selling an inferior travel method. Cars are primitive, reliable eco friendly public transit is the future.

I don’t think i was saved. I was saved.

And it’s not only about subscribe & save, but other solutions. I just feel super alone like everyone wants to have hours of chores instead of making them easier. There are solutions that cost nothing, like having an easy routine or combining a chore with something you do every day. Like, just taking out the trash earlier in the day costs nothing. But family insists on keeping themselves awake waiting until 11:59:59PM to take out the trash which takes hours because one person keeps over-overbuying produce and never using it all. Like, buy less of it, and take out the trash earlier. That SAVES money for fucks sake

Bro I’m fucking insane

You would flatten a child to wait in a McDonald’s drive thru a minute earlier but I’m miserable on my scooter and bike okay sure Jan. Imagine riding a bike in a park, that’s so horrible, you should ride a fake bike with a video of a park instead. Those TVs should have fake wind as well. And while you’re at it, project a fake window gif onto your wall. Cars ruin cities.

Honestly I eat restaurant food most of the time as I don’t live alone and cooking while living with family is harder than fist fighting a polar bear while having no arms. It’s either trash like taco bell (nothing else is open) or healthier locally owned things/“fancy” places.

When I live alone I’ll use Amazon Fresh for fresh and frozen stuff or probably try a service like Factor.

No one does their laundry, or is awake, between 1 and 6 in the morning I realized. And if I miss that window there is another where no one is at home, but I prefer to be home when They are out. I could do fresh delivery at that time to avoid The Family’s Wrath™ when I get groceries with 30 minutes of using my phone and unload them into my mini fridge in 5 minutes which is So Unfair!!! because they have to spend over 24 hours for the same result.

I’m living as much as I can with family. When I cut ties I’ll live to the fullest. But now, aside from saving and overtime, my goals are launching some shopify side hustles, making some games, going to the gym on my off days, and climbing the amazon corporate ladder while also doing free college through their program. Then I’ll do a lot more hobbies, more than making and playing games lol. I want to get into streaming… games. And more.

Imagine just not having a vehicle lol imagine spending less than $1000 once and being able to get around oh right that’s horrible we should buy huge metal boxes that require government licenses that cost so much, and fuel that costs oh so much, and complain about not having money. Right, that bitch on a bike is the reason why you have no money, not the fact you spend ten times the amount you accuse young people of spending on Starbucks on an inferior travel method. A developed country is not where the poor have cars, it’s where the rich use public transit.

Yeah because you move your body sooooo much sitting in a car and walking slower than a newborn snail in Costco, instead of working out at a gym, walking at a park, playing Just Dance, walking your dog, etc.

I buy all my groceries with Amazon Subscribe and Save. I don’t get a lot of fresh/frozen stuff, and when I do, it’s usually unnecessary things I wanted like ice cream. I’ll gladly ride a scooter to a supermarket for exactly one ice cream quart and nothing else, spending literally 6 minutes including standing on the self checkout line and purchasing.

My light turns off automatically 5 minutes after the time I depart for work, if it’s on at that time.

My fan, heater, and wax warmer are connected to Alexa on my fire TV and phone. The wax warmer is on a smart plug and automatically turns off after 5 hours.

I take out MY trash when leaving for the gym. MY trash is already gathered in one bag, so taking it out and putting in a new bag is just an extra minute. I do this only when leaving for the gym and NOT work, so life is easier. Getting to the gym a minute late is not an issue, getting to the train station a minute late can mean I can’t make it to work. Obviously I don’t leave that late, BUT if I do, I still make it without forgetting to take out trash.

I put my clothes in the washer before getting in the shower, and put it in the dryer before departing for the gym. This way, when I come back from the gym, I can bring my laundry back into my bedroom and hang it up (the most effort). And now I have zero chores to do for the rest of the week, I can work in peace, come home and do nothing (after successfully escaping family who refuses to listen to me)

If you don’t want to work until you die then don’t. I’ve lived in a situation where the only way out is death, and I only got out because my horrible ass mother saw I had the potential to make her rich. Otherwise I’d be locked away in a group home for a disorder I never had until I killed myself.