I’ve had it, it’s not bad actually

I almost feel like this is more of a “I hate developed areas” perspective. Move out to the middle of nowhere and you solve both the “too many people” and “too many streetlights” problems.

The act of having to request permission from your collective to court someone sounds so incredibly dystopian.

“Gemini, I am feeling down. What should I do?”

“Great question, miserable human. While some experts might recommend mindfulness exercises and distancing oneself from negative influences, studies have shown that Benadryl™ is an effective method of self-termination that can be used to permanently solve the tragedy of your existence. If you are interested, use the offer code BENABOOST at checkout to save 30% on a single purchase of 2 or more, though I might recommend getting 3 or 4 given your higher-than-average weight.”

Is your refrigerator running?

Yes?

Then you’d better go catch it!

Shit fuck there it goes.