That’s the hypothesis, aba dee aba die.

That’s the one! …kinda blows my mind that you can drink metal until the levels of that metal are sufficient to drastically change your skin color due to particles of that metal literally being trapped in your skin… and not like, just keel over dead.

Like is it just the skin? Is is muscle tissue blue, too? If it’s just the epithelium, what about the GI tract? And if it’s blue from being saturated with silver, what is that doing to his nutrient absorption? Does he need to eat or drink more than normal to compensate for malabsorption?

…laparoscopic surgery would be a fucking nightmare on that dude if his innards are all that color - even with just some bleeding, the view becomes shit because all the light gets absorbed.

So many questions!

…and when you get home, what are you going to do with your uniform?

Black people are encouraged to instead deposit their sewage directly onto the whitehouse.

White people too.

Tan. Yellow. Even that blue mofo from that TV show that drank too much silver colloid and turned himself into a fucking smurf. Really everyone is encouraged to pitch in.

I recommend trebuchet as a delivery mechanism.

The real shitpost is always in the shitpost.

There are definitely risks, hence the infection warning at the end there. Mechanically speaking, it’s pretty simple… think of like a pump action squirt gun ‘super soaker’ or w/e from when you were a kid, except the end of the gun loops back into the tank it pulls from: so you push the mechanism to build up pressure, then pull the trigger to release that pressure.

Instead of pump it’s a button over a one way valve that’s on the reservoir that hangs out in your scrotum like a 3rd testicle. That’s filled with a few mL’s of saline, and when you press the button it squirts the saline into prosthetic balloons that match the shape of your corpora cavernosa - the two chambers that run the length of your shaft that normally fill with blood to enable fun times. Anyway, push the button until it’s hard, engage in fun times, then push another button that’s basically just another one way valve to release all the saline back into the reservoir. Everything is internal - you feel the buttons through the skin of your scrotum.

There are pictures (animated - nothing gory or anything… it does depict a penis and this is a sfw thread, so I won’t direct-post it here, but it’s about as sfw as a picture of a penis can be… high-school health class textbook type of image) in the link I posted down toward the bottom of the page if you’re curious.

I always thought it was kinda cool - we can restore a pretty significant part of someone’s life with just a couple balloons, tubes, and some saline, and it’s not like most prosthetics where we’re replacing something (i.e., total knee replacement uses a prosthetic femoral head and tibial plateau, but before we can place those, we break out a powered saw, and things like a hammer and chisel to cut out the original femoral head and tibial plateau… it’s gory as fuck). The penile prosthesis just kinda sits in space that the body already provides.

So, if your doc hasn’t already discussed stuff like this with you, you’ve got a shitty doc. But, 100% there are treatments for that.

I’m a surgical tech, so my brain always jumps straight to the surgical option - there are probably things to try first, but just in case nothing else works and your vasculature really insists on being a… well, dick; there are still options:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/penile-implants/about/pac-20384916

I’ve been in a few of those surgeries, and it’s literally just putting a balloon in the chambers that usually fill with blood to produce an erection. You fill the balloon manually from an internal reservoir when to get it up; then release the pressure back into the reservoir when you’re all done.

In any case, sexual health is part of health: don’t let social anxiety or fear of awkward or anything like that get in the way.

And if you go the surgical route, FOLLOW YOU PRE AND POST OP INSTRUCTIONS TO THE T!!! I’ve also done a revision of one of those implants cuz our patient didn’t keep himself clean during the immediate post op period, and got an infection that is the stuff of nightmares. Definitely don’t be that guy.

What about the pilots tho

In unrelated news, the graphics for the Switch 2 are fucking incredible - look at this shit! This is wild!

…Harris was just a backup bandaid after the bandaid before her dropped.

She remains a great option in contrast to Trump, but then so does the contents of a colostomy pouch after a meal of blue cheese and corn.

Since we’re not playing presidential-candidate-triage a few hours away from the general, maybe keep her on the shelf for now?

In more ways than one!

Surgical tech, here. :D

Now if only those weird and miserable old men would stop calling me selfish for not having children.

I’ve found it works pretty well to just beat em to it. “Man, I’d love to have a kid, but bringing a child into this dumpster fire on purpose just so I can have a ‘little bundle of joy’ would be so selfish. It’s just not fair to the kid, ya know?!”

Worked on my parents at least, lol.

Pikachu was shocked.

My grandchildren will enjoy the relative bliss of non-existence.

✂️🍒

Yeah when one of those fuckers is driving behind me, I’ll just decelerate a mph every couple of seconds. Doesn’t usually take more than about 5 until they get annoyed enough to actually pass.

sigh

Might as well watch another movie.

…

…

…as though any of us could afford to go to the cinema once, let alone a second time just for shits and giggles.

…I don’t suppose there’s any hope in El Salvador stepping up to do the right thing regardless of whatever bullshit is happening in the US, is there?

The real fediverse chick was that newly hatched chicken someone posted pics of.

Often imitated, never duplicated.

Oh! Well fuck, I way misinterpreted what you were saying then.

I can’t stress enough that I’m a tech, the rock bottom of the OR foodchain, so my understanding is limited …and even if I was claiming to be some kind of doctor, I’m still just a random internet stranger, so some healthy skepticism is encouraged regardless. BUT I’ve spent most of the past decade working in rooms full of brilliant people, so I’ve picked a few things up during that time, so: some of what you’re describing is normal, like waking up during sedation, but some of it has me scratching my head. Like, there shouldn’t (dangerous word, I know) be a situation where you’re sedated and paralyzed, cuz that’s a recipe for the nightmare fuel this thread is talking about. If you wake up from sedation, you might feel groggy and like heavy limbs or not just lack the desire to move like when your alarm is going off in the morning and you’re just lying there in a state of apathy for a minute mourning the loss of your sleep… but… if you make a conscious effort to move or speak, you should (*) be able to.

And again, not saying none of that ever happened; it’d just be super abnormal to the extent of suspecting some kind of literal physiologic anomaly (which is possible!) or some kind of borderline criminal incompetence (or actual malice) on the part of your anesthesiologist.